


Wicked Dance

by Beckily



Category: Dragon Age (Video Games), Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Bisexual Female Character, Canon-Typical Violence, Frottage, Menstruation, Modern Character in Thedas, Modern Girl in Thedas, Tw: dead children (brief)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-03-31
Updated: 2020-07-16
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:28:01
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 44,130
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23419747
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Beckily/pseuds/Beckily
Summary: Falling through an eluvian in the depths of the Temple of Sacred Ashes just in time to interrupt Corypheus' ritual and gain herself the Mark, Bianca is a Modern Girl in Thedas who is not having a Good Time.A dancer back on Earth, she's overwhelmed by the Inquisition's insistence that she be a soldier, a diplomat, and their Holy Icon. What kind of hero will she be? She'll get back to you on that.
Relationships: Other Relationship Tags to Be Added
Comments: 238
Kudos: 173





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> I've been working on this one for quite awhile. Hopefully you guys enjoy her at much as I do. The beginning does have game dialogue, which I've literally never done before, because it's such a pain in the ass to find it and transcribe it. So don't think I'll be doing it a lot, I won't. I still prefer the in between moments.
> 
> I've actually got a backlog going, just starting to write chapter 5, so I'll be posting them maybe weekly or so to start, and hopefully keep writing so you don't have the big gaps like my usual.  
> But we're in a pandemic and I've got 3 little kids, so who the fuck knows how this will go?  
> ♥️

Daniel was right. This forest was amazing. Bianca lifted another branch out of her way, ducking low as she stepped over a nurse log. She wanted to get closer to the river before she rested again.

The forest was dense, the air delightfully cool, and the only trouble she was having was that she had to watch so carefully where she stepped to avoid tripping over all the roots. She started to notice what looked like rubble and was surprised. Daniel hadn’t said anything about any old buildings through here. She followed it a bit, curious, and found what looked like an old stone tower. Very old, mostly falling down and crowded by massive trees, but with enough wall still up to make her curious what might be on the other side.

The trees continued all the way around, making it hard to find a way to what would be the inner tower, but she found a gap and squeezed through - her bulky pack making it tricky but not impossible.

Inside was dramatically cooler than it had been outside, and the air was still. 

The ground was strewn with rubble, and the trees blocked out most light except a thin shaft coming from up above. She moved through, noticing the remnants of paint and tiling. There was a smaller tree growing in the middle of the tower, and when she passed behind it, she noticed a large mirror against the wall.

It was beautiful, the stone around it carved intricately. She went to it, and realized it was damaged - it looked cloudy, she saw no reflection. She poked it with her finger, watching carefully, but no reflection at all. 

“Huh,” she turned to head back out, but tripped on one of the stones, falling and cutting her hands. Swearing, she started standing, bracing her hand on the mirror.

And then everything went dark.

\--

She woke up in the dark, lying on her side on a stone floor. Her shoulder hurt from how her backpack was pulling.

“Fucking-” She sat up, looking around. “Fuck.”

This wasn’t the tower in the woods. This was.. Well, it was pitch black, but it smelled like a cave, not a forest. She heaved herself up, finding her way to a wall and then following it until she found a door. In the hall outside, it was still dark, but there was a glimmer of light down further.

With one hand on the wall, and walking carefully because she kept finding rubble in the way, she made her way towards the light. She was grateful for her nice boots, protecting her from stubbed toes.

As she got closer to the light, she could see around herself more. This looked like some kind of temple, falling apart, but still beautiful. The light seemed to be coming from the top of a staircase. She huffed a laugh. Of course. She drank from her water bottle, put it back in the pocket on the side of her pack, and headed up.

At the top of the stairs, she found a hallway with windows with light streaming through. She was admiring some of the stained glass when she suddenly heard a woman calling for help.

She turned towards the sound, hurrying down the corridor and then around a corner, and then pausing in horror. There were bodies. Dead bodies. In antique armor. The woman called out again, though, and she couldn’t let that lie. She picked up a knife that was near one of the dead men, and opened the door.

\---

She woke up on a stone floor. Apparently she had a new shitty habit. 

Everything hurt, especially her left hand. If she still had a left hand. Possibly it had been replaced with a red hot poker. Not a good sign. She wrenched her eyes open, which was harder than expected, and tried to get the world to come into focus. She tried to wipe her eyes with her good hand, but found that it was trapped in something heavy. She realized both hands were in some kind of... thing… that rested heavily on her belly. She sighed and blinked blearily at the... stone ceiling. The light was flickering, the shadows coming from several angles, so there were multiple fires wherever she was. That meant people.

People who apparently had bound her hands in some manner. What -

Her left hand lit up with some kind of green light, she couldn't see more than that because she shut her eyes against the pain. Something was in her hand.

Heaving herself up, she tried to get her bearings. She was in a small cell behind bars. There were fucking _torches_ along the pillers outside her cell at regular intervals.

“Not good,” she whispered to herself. 

She was in some kind of smock, with long woolen socks. She heaved herself up, and leaned back against the wall.

Her hand sparked up again and she cried out, pulling her knees up and trying to support her left hand as whatever the thing was trying to tear it apart.

She heard footsteps, and a bunch of men in medieval armor came into sight, followed by two women.

“Tell me why we should not kill you now,” a woman said in some kind of slavic or germanic accent. “The Conclave is destroyed. Everyone is dead, except for you.”

She blanched and pressed to the wall, until her left hand lit up with a green light, sending agony through her body.

“Explain that!”

“It.. it hurts, what is it, what’s going on?” Her voice broke at the end in her panic.

The other woman stepped forward, she had a different accent. French. “Do you remember how this happened? How this began?”

“I..” Her brain wasn’t working right, she couldn’t focus. She couldn’t remember… There was the tower with the trees and then… nothing... until..

“A.. I was… I was afraid. Running. These giant fucking spider things were chasing me? I.. there was a glowing woman, she reached out to me- I…” She shook her head helplessly.

“A woman?” French lady asked, sounding curious.

“Go to the forward camp, Leliana. I will take her to the rift.”

\---

She needed help to get dressed, her left arm was barely functional, and the rest of her felt ridiculously weak. The woman, who introduced herself as Cassandra, helped her into thick cloth pants, boots, and then handed her a thick coat.

The smock was apparently multi-purpose - dungeon nightgown and tunic! 

A leather tie held her hair back and apparently that was good enough primping. She guzzled down a mug full of lukewarm broth, peed in a bucket, and then, hands tied in front of her, followed Cassandra down a hall, up some stairs into..

“Is this a church?”

Cassandra looked back at her, confused. “The Chantry. You didn’t visit before the Conclave?”

She shook her head. “No, I.. I guess not.”

It was a small church, and seemed to have been repurposed with the pews pushed to the side, and the different areas being used for different tasks.

Outside, the light blinded her briefly. When she was able to focus she looked at the sky and -

“What the fuck is that?”

Cassandra huffed. “We’re calling it the Breach. It's a massive rift into the world of demons, and grows larger with each passing hour. It’s not the only such rift, just the largest. All were caused by the explosion at the Conclave.”

“That… was one hell of an explosion.” _World of demons??_

“Unless we act, the Breach may grow until it swallows the world.”

Bianca looked at her in horror before her hand lit up again, the pain bringing her to her knees. 

Cassandra kneeled in front of her, earnestly. “Each time the Breach expands, your mark expands, and it is killing you. It may be the key to stopping this, but there isn’t much time.”

Bianca got her breath back and looked at Cassandra’s face, terrified. “Key?”

“Yes, we need to take you to one of the rifts, to see if it can close it.”

Bianca choked back a panicked laugh. “You want to take me near a- a tear into the world of demons?”

“It is the only way.”

“Fuck.”

Cassandra nodded grimly and helped her up.

\---

Bianca wasn’t in any shape to be hiking up icy mountains with demons literally raining down from the tear in reality. She had been unconscious for days, and had powerful magic trying to tear her body apart.

Also, while she was in very good shape - she was a dancer, for fuck’s sake - she had no fighting skills.

A bridge was destroyed right in front of them, a meteor from the Breach hitting it with horrifying results. Several chips of rock cut into Bianca’s jacket as she covered her face. 

She and Cassandra carefully picked their way down the embankment to the side of the bridge, but as they crossed the frozen river, some kind of monster bubbled up from the ground. Cassandra pulled her sword and dashed off to deal with it, leaving Bianca alone.

This was fine until another spot of ice started bubbling, signaling a second monster’s imminent appearance. 

Bianca looked around hastily - Cassandra was busy, there was no way she was going to be able to take out both of these before Bianca got injured. She noticed a shield - battered, but still a shield, and she ran over to grab it. She hooked her arm through the leather strap and held firm in the hand grip. It felt way too small. She was not a small person at 5’10 and a solid 260lbs, this small circle of metal didn’t seem nearly as protective as she wanted, but it’s all she had. 

The monster had formed and was bearing down on her, horrible robes blowing behind as it raised it’s clawed hands to strike her. She raised the shield and blocked. And then again, and again, as it tried desperately to kill her.

She was backed up into the rubble of the bridge, and tripped, but kept the shield up, protecting her head and chest. She cried out as one of the claws wrapped around the shield, slicing her arm and trying to pull the shield out of her grip 

There was an unholy scream and the attack stopped. Cassandra stood in front of her, sword covered in some dark liquid, panting.

“You have no fighting skills.”

Bianca shook her head.

“You did well. I am sorry I could not protect you sooner.”

Cassandra offered her arm and heaved her up. “Keep the shield, and take this.”

Bianca accepted the small vial of liquid, having no idea what it might be. She put it in her pocket and followed Cassandra up the bank, putting pressure on her arm to slow the bleeding.

\---

Several fights later (handled similarly, though Bianca managed to stay hidden better, only using the shield to block flying lights thrown by green ghost looking things), they came to the top of a hill and heard a fight already in progress.

Cassandra ran off to help, and Bianca approached cautiously behind her.

There was a green crystaly-light weirdness in the air, not very high off the ground, and it tugged at the light in her hand. The fight seemed to be going well, so she focused on the feeling in her hand as she moved closer. Suddenly, one of the men ran to her, grabbed her hand and held it in the air.

“Quickly! Before more come through!”

Something hooked into the center of her hand and _yanked_.

A large flash of light blinded her, and when she looked up again, the strange thing was gone from the air and her hand felt hot and tingly.

“Oh, wow! That’s fucking awesome!”

The man next to her laughed softly. “Indeed. Whatever magic opened the Breach in the sky, also placed that mark upon your hand. I theorized the mark might be able to close the rifts that have opened in the Breach’s wake, and it seems I was correct.”

“Meaning it could close the Breach itself,” Cassandra said, sounding thoughtful.

“Possibly. It seems you hold the key to our salvation.”

“Good to know,” came a voice from behind her. “And here I thought we were going to be ass deep in demons forever.”

She turned to see a short, broad man coming towards her, adjusting his gloves. “Varric Tethras! Rogue, storyteller, and occasionally, unwelcome tagalong.”

He winked at Cassandra, who made a disgusted face.

Bianca smiled. “Very good to meet you.”

“My name is Solas, if there are to be introductions. I am pleased to see you still live.”

Bianca looked up at him fully for the first time. Bald, tall, handsome and, though he was wearing a hood, she suddenly noticed his… _ears_... what...

“He means,” Varric interjected. “‘I kept that mark from killing you while you slept.’”

Bianca’s eyes widened and she cradled her left hand against her chest. “Thank you so much, are you a doctor?”

“Solas is an apostate,” Cassandra interrupted, as if that information was helpful. “Well-versed in such matters.”

_Which matters? Healing? Or magical marks and torn realities?_

“Technically all mages are now apostates, Cassandra. My travels have allowed me to learn much of the Fade. _Far_ beyond the experience of any Circle Mage. I came to offer whatever help I could with the Breach. If it is not closed, we are doomed, regardless of origins.”

_Apostates. Circle Mages. Fade. What._

“Nothing like an apocalypse to bring out the best in people,” Bianca muttered, rubbing her left hand.

“Indeed,” he smiled at her. “Cassandra, you should know, the magic involved here is unlike any I’ve seen. Your prisoner is a mage, but I find it difficult to believe any mage would have such power.”

“Understood.”

“Not understood,” Bianca commented, her mind racing. “I’m a what?”

_Yer a wizard, Harry._

“Did,” Solas frowned. “You not know?”

“I did not know,” she nodded, wide eyed.

“An untrained mage with unknown magic in her hand,” Cassandra said with heaviness. “Wonderful.”

“Oh, what a beautiful morning, oh what a beautiful day,” Bianca sang under her breath, turning to continue on the path towards the Breach. “I’ve got a beautiful feeeeeeeling, everything’s going my way..”

Varric followed closely behind her, not even bothering to cover his laugh. “Well, Bianca’s excited!”

“She’s fucking well _not_ ,” Bianca muttered under her breath.

\---

Leliana was talking to a bitchy little man in an ugly hat.

Bianca listened to him arguing with the women and rolled her eyes. Men with inferiority complexes were the same everywhere. It was strangely comforting. This place seemed to be full of people and events that were too big to be real. Holes in reality, magic, demons, warrior women with swords, men with fancy crossbows and… vulcans? She wasn’t sure. There didn’t seem to be a good way to ask, either. He smiled more than Spock, but he also held himself very carefully.

And apparently she had magic, like he did. Would that mean she’d need a giant staff like him? She’d prefer a wand, if that was an option.

She realized everyone was looking at her. She’d missed something. “I’m sorry, I was lost in thought.”

“Which way do you think we should go? March through the valley with soldiers or through the mountain paths?”

“Uh,” she said, looking around to get a hint at the right answer. 

“A charge with the soldiers would be fastest, but the mountain paths may be safer,” Leliana helped.

“Oh. Well, I like safer. I’m not a fighter, I don’t know how to charge and I…” she trailed off, looking at the Breach again. 

There was more bickering as they left, but she ignored it.

She did have regrets as she faced the mountain path with its many horrible ladders, but finding scouts alive, and being able to save them when they would have otherwise been overwhelmed made up for it.

After closing the rift near them, though, she staggered and fell. Solas rushed to her side, reaching for her unmarked arm to brace her, only to realize her sleeve was sticky with blood.

“You are bleeding,” he quickly helped her pull her arm out of her coat and pushed up her sleeve to see the damage.

“I gave her a potion,” Cassandra’s voice was there. “Why did you not take it if you were injured?”

Bianca tried to dig into her pocket to retrieve it, and Solas hastily pulled it out himself, unstoppering the potion and holding it to her mouth.

She drank it down, making a face at the taste. Her belly felt warm and full as the potion hit, and the feeling slowly radiated out to all her limbs. She watched in awe as the slice on her arm slowly closed. “Whoa. That’s trippy as hell. Bottled magic, eh?”

“An elfroot potion,” Cassandra said slowly. “You did not know what it was?”

“Naw, or I’d’ve downed that fucker right off,” she rubbed her eyes. “I am not feeling good.”

“From blood loss or,” Varric gestured at her left hand.

“It was bleeding enough to need healing, but not so much that she’s in danger,” Solas commented.

“Yeah, I’m just… so tired. Not at all normal for me, so I’m guessing it has to do with whatever is jammed into my hand here. And waiting isn’t going to help, since it’s literally killing me. Fucking… Fuck, I hate everything right now.”

She opened her eyes and looked up into their worried faces.

She reached up to Solas, who was still kneeling next to her and patted his cheek. “Except your pretty face. You just stick around looking handsome and I can get through this, promise.”

Varric burst out laughing, Cassandra scoffed, but Solas merely blinked and nodded gravely, amusement shining in his eyes. 

He helped her up, and they headed on to the Temple.

\---

It reminded her of Pompeii.

The smell was overwhelmingly terrible.

She focused on her feet and following Cassandra.

People were speaking, but she didn’t have the emotional energy to pay attention.

And then they were apparently at their destination. She looked up into the Breach and felt… helpless, superfluous, lost.

“This is your chance to end this,” Cassandra said, moving to stand in front of Bianca. “Are you ready?”

“I am ready for this to be over, yes, but..” She gestured helplessly at the enormity of the situation.

“No,” Solas said. “This one was the first. Seal it, and perhaps you’ll seal the Breach.”

“That would be,” she paused. “Super cool. Yeah. I’ll just do that. I’ve done that. I can do that. This one looks…”

She looked back up at the Breach. “Yeah.”

“Then let’s find a way down,” Cassandra said. “And be careful.”

They followed a rubble filled path, circling around the crater under the Breach. The explosion had been hot enough to melt stone in giant spikes moving away from the epicenter.

An echoing voice filled the area. “ **Now is the hour of our victory. Bring forth the Sacrifice.** ”

“What are we hearing?” Cassandra asked.

“At a guess? The person who created the Breach.”

Some of the spikes of rock were actually glowing red. It couldn’t be from the heat, the area wasn’t hot, but there was a… feeling? Coming off of them. Not good, but somehow made her want to go closer.

“You know this stuff is red lyrium, Seeker.”

“I see it, Varric.”

“But what’s it _doing_ here?”

“Magic could have pulled lyrium from under the temple and corrupted it.”

“Well, whatever it’s doing here, don’t touch it. It’s evil.”

Bianca huffed. “Demons, magic, swords, evil rocks, got it.”

“ **Keep the sacrifice still.** ”

“That’s fucking ominous,” she muttered, reaching some stairs and heading down them.

“ **Someone help me!** ”

“That was Divine Justinia’s voice,” Cassandra's voice was thick with emotion.

They jumped down the last bit to the lowest area, near the rift.

As she approached the rift, Bianca’s hand lit up again, and the voices returned.

“ **Someone help me!**

“ **Oh, fuck, what the fuck, what-** ”

“That was your voice,” Cassandra sounded confused. “Most Holy called out to you, but-”

The rift flared, and suddenly there were images in the air. A shadowy figure, a woman held up in red light, and Bianca coming through the door, her enormous backpack on her back, a knife held awkwardly in her hand. “Oh, fuck, what the fuck what-”

“Run while you can! Warn them!” the woman said, desperately.

“We have an intruder. Slay her.”

Another bright flash and the image was gone.

“You _were_ there!” Cassandra came towards her. “Who attacked? And the Divine, is she- was this vision true? What are we seeing?”

“Fucked if I know,” Bianca frowned, edging back from Cassandra’s intensity.

“Echos of what happened. The Fade bleeds into this place,” Solas murmured from closer to the rift.

“This rift is not sealed, but it is closed,” He said louder. “Albeit temporarily. I believe that with the mark, the rift can be opened, and then sealed properly and safely. However, opening the rift will likely attract attention from the other side.”

“That means demons,” Cassandra called out so that everyone could hear. Bianca looked up to to see archers lining the walls. “Stand ready!”

Soldiers poured into the space, more archers joining those already in place, pulling their arrows back so that they were ready.

Bianca took a deep breath and lifted her mark to the rift.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have.. patience? No?  
> I will keep the next until at least next week. ♥️  
> But have another chapter, get to know my girl a bit better!!

She woke up completely certain she would be at home in her own bed. She was warm, comfortable, and clean.

She would go downstairs and make toast and eat it while reading something trashy and then, maybe, she should catch up on her laundry.

Bianca rolled over and curled into the bed, reveling in the -

This was not her bed.

Fucking.. Fuck.

She opened her eyes resentfully.

Rustic wooden cabin. She could hear the wind blowing, and the sounds of a great many people going about their lives outside.

She wasn’t home. 

She pulled her blankets over her head. You could bring a girl to a weird demon infested hellscape, but you couldn’t make her get out of bed.

Some time later the door opened and someone came in, setting a tray down somewhere. She flopped the blankets back down so she could see and met the eyes of a very alarmed looking person.

“I didn’t know you were awake, I swear!”

“I’m totally not,” she declared, pulling the blankets back over her head.

“I..” The person paused, obviously confused. “Lady Pentaghast will want to know you’re awake. She said right away!”

“Oh, I just bet she did. I’ll be here.”

There was another pause before the person left.

She then had a philosophical debate with herself about peeing. Last time she’d seen “Lady Pentaghast,” she had not been allowed any privacy before being dragged up a demon infested mountain. Surely they’d be dragging her off for some awful thing as soon as they realized she was still alive.

“Ugh.”

She got up, admired her new smock, and looked around for something to pee in. She found it under the bed, a ceramic chamber pot. Luckily with a lid. Having to entertain people in her room, in her nightgown was bad enough, but she’d like it to not smell like an unflushed toilet if she could manage it.

She slid the used pot back under the bed, looked around the room briefly, and then crawled back into bed.

\---

The door opened and multiple people poured into her room before the last person shut it firmly.

There was a moment of silence before a man said, “I thought you said she was awake?”

There was a cranky sound she recognized as coming from Cassandra before her blankets were yanked back, exposing her to the cold air of the room.

Bianca was lying on the bed, glaring at the ceiling with her arms and legs crossed. “Oh, yes, good morning, Cassandra.”

“Why are you still in bed? Were you not told to come up to the Chantry?”

She eyed Cassandra, pursing her lips.

“Are you well?” Leliana asked.

“That is a question I am pondering at some length, thank you for asking.”

The man coughed then, and shifted awkwardly. “We can go while she gets dressed, can’t we?”

“Of course,” replied Leliana. “Meet us back up the Chantry, won’t you?”

“I have no idea where that is.”

Cassandra sighed. “I will take you.”

“Anything to spend more time with me, hm? We’ll be the best of friends in no time, I just know it.”

The man laughed under his breath and left, followed by Leliana. Cassandra remained, glaring.

“Are you going to get up?”

She hummed. “How long have I been out?”

“Three days.”

She paused and raised an eyebrow. “And you’re pissed at me about it.”

“I am not! I am relieved that you did wake. We weren’t sure you were going to.”

“But you’re bitchy at me for not getting up immediately. After being unconscious for three days.”

“You are fully healed, we have checked. There is so much to be done, we don’t have time for laying around.”

She sat up then, pissed. “I did everything you asked! It is not unreasonable to spend a little bit of time in bed after all of that!”

“It is when there are things to be done!”

“I was barely conscious, in agony, and you drug me up a demon infested mountain! I’ve been unconscious for three days! I have something very weird embedded in my hand! I can’t just lay here for a morning to try to wrap my mind around all that?”

“There is no time!”

“You going to drag me to the Pantry in my nightgown? Am I going back in chains?”

“What? No. You are to get dressed,” Cassandra gestured to a pile of fabric on a trunk. “Then I will take you to the _Chantry._ ”

“And then?”

“We will discuss it when we are with the others.”

“Right.” She rolled herself out of bed and got dressed.

The walk to the Chantry was awkward. It seemed like the whole village was out trying to get a look at Bianca. She tried to hide behind Cassandra, but Cassandra was a lot smaller than she was, so it didn’t really work. 

They went inside a large building that only looked important compared to the rest of the town. It was dark inside, but she recognized it as the place she’d awakened the first time, and then finally had time to realize...

“You have a dungeon in your church basement?”

Cassandra just gestured a door at the back of the church.

They went to a small room, where Leliana was speaking with the asshole from the other day.

“Chain her!” he called as she walked in. “I want her prepared for travel to the capital for trial.”

“Disregard that, and leave us,” Cassandra said calmly. The guards did as she said.

“You walk a dangerous line, Seeker,” the asshole tried to make himself look bigger.

“The Breach is stable but it is still a threat. I will not ignore it.”

“Oh, shit,” Bianca said to herself. They turned to look at her. “But it’s better than it was?”

“It has stopped growing, as has the mark on your hand.”

“Convenient, don’t you think,” sneered the Chancellor.

“Oh, go fuck yourself, nothing about this is convenient.”

“How dare-!”

“I dare because they’re all too polite to say it. People are fucking dying. There are _demons_ out there, and your first thought is to shut down anyone attempting to help.”

“We should elect a new Divine and follow her words on the matter!”

“Elections take time, asshole! How much time do we have? Are you so stupid and blind that you don’t see what’s happened? And this is a religious figure, right? Your Pope? She’s supposed to what- pray it away? That didn’t work so great for the last one-” everyone drew in horrified breaths - “why would it work for the new one? Or will she have exceptional magical powers?”

“Magic! Of course not, that’s what caused-”

“Then shut the fuck up and be _useful._ Even I’m trying to be useful and I haven’t the slightest idea what’s going on here. But when the _sky is falling_ and people are _dying_ what you _don’t_ want is bureaucracy! Elect someone, yes, good, but don’t stop the people who are trying to help _now_.”

“You claim to be trying to help, but since you _caused_ this-”

Bianca burst out laughing.

“Let’s see what’s actually happening here, shall we? Who in this room has been trying to stop every effort to close the Breach?”

They all stared at him.

“So. You were.. A glorified clerk, I think Cassandra said? Feeling a bit dissatisfied with that, hm? Want to be a bit more important?”

“ _I_ am a suspect?”

“You, and many others,” Leliana said calmly.

“But not the prisoner?”

“I heard the voices in the Temple. The Divine called to her for help.”

The conversation devolved from there, ending dramatically with Cassandra slamming an enormous book on the table and declaring the Inquisition reborn.

“What’s the Inquisition?” Bianca asked after the Chancellor had left.

“It preceded the Chantry. People who banded together to restore order in a world gone mad.”

“After, they laid down their banner and formed the Templar order, but the Templars have lost their way. We need those who can do what must be done united under a single banner once more.”

“‘What must be done?’ I really don’t like the sound of that.”

“We must stop the fighting. The Templars and the Mages must be brought back to order.”

“By what means?”

“Whatever it takes.”

“Nope!” Bianca turned to leave, but Cassandra grabbed her and pulled her back.

Cassandra sighed. “You should know that while some believe you chosen, many still think you guilty. The Inquisition can only protect you if you are with us.”

“You’re the ones who told them I was guilty!”

“We can also help you.” Leliana commented.

Bianca scoffed.

“It will not be easy if you stay, but you cannot pretend this has not changed you.”

“Changed me? Yeah, I have a magic hand now. But what the fuck does closing rifts have to do with any of this? She died in the explosion, this book has nothing to do with the Breach. I am not getting involved in some ‘any means necessary’ holy war!”

“You are already involved!”

“Because I’m a prisoner! Nothing about this has anything to do with me!”

“I-” Cassandra looked startled. “At first, yes, but-”

“What’s my name?”

They were all silent.

“When did I last get food? Or something to drink?”

Cassandra looked uncomfortable, though Leliana was just watching her.

“I will help close rifts, those are terrifying, but I am not a fighter. I am not wading into a religious war. You can force me to be here, but I will fight against you every step of the way if I have to.”

“We understand,” Leliana stated. “We will explain things more fully after you have eaten.”

“Food and explanations would be very welcome, thank you.”

\---

They had brought in chairs and food - a soup with some kind of white meat and a lot of vegetables, rice, bread, and a light alcoholic drink. The others left her while she ate, she assumed to regroup and try a different angle to get her to cooperate.

There was a map on the table in front of her and she studied it while she ate, trying desperately to find anything familiar on it.

Nothing. Everyone sounded European, but this map was absolutely not Europe. And she didn’t recognize the writing at all, it was Runic.

“Hey Google. Navigate home.”

Silence.

“Worth a shot. Hey, Google. Where the fuck am I?”

She heard voices getting closer again and hastily finished her food, wiping her mouth on her sleeve just as the door opened. 

Leliana, Cassandra, the man from before, and another woman came into the room. Bianca stood.

Cassandra closed the door and moved around the table. “May I present Commander Cullen, leader of the Inquisition’s forces.”

He seemed friendly enough, as he had before in her cabin, but he looked like he could use a month of sleep and someone to insist he ate regular meals.

He had a very large sword.

He looked down. “Such as they are. We lost many soldiers in the valley, and I fear many more before this is through.”

Cassandra gestured to the new woman, who was lovely but looked very out of place in this rough mountain village. “This is Lady Josephine Montilyet, our Ambassador and chief diplomat.”

“I’ve heard much,” she said with a smile. “It is a pleasure to meet you at last.”

Bianca grinned. She couldn’t imagine anyone had said anything too positive about her yet.

“And of course,” Cassandra continued. “You know Sister Leliana.”

“My position here requires a degree of-”

“She is our spymaster.”

“Yes,” said Leliana, with a sigh. “Tactfully put, Cassandra.”

“I’m Bianca,” she said, feeling rather overwhelmed. “I close rifts with my magic hand.”

Cullen’s reminder that people were dying wasn’t very welcome. She was terrified enough just on a base level, but pointing out the death she’d just seen and reminding her that more was to come? No thanks. And diplomats? What the fuck kind of organization was this going to be? Diplomats meant rich people, and rich people meant all manner of badness.

And a _spymaster?_ What the fuck.

“What’s your job, Cassandra?”

“I was the Divine’s Right Hand, carrying out her order to form the Inquisition – and here we are.”

She had absolutely no idea what that job title would entail, but decided to keep her ignorance to herself.

“We sure are.”

“And you, Lady Bianca, what did you do before the Conclave?” Josephine asked politely.

She smiled slyly, “I was a pole dancer.”

There was a pause. “I am unfamiliar with-”

“So a stripper, right, but using a pole.. You don’t have pole dancing here? It’s very athletic. You dance on the pole.”

They all looked like they were trying but failing to picture it.

“A metal pole, vertical. Smooth and sturdy. You climb it, spin on it, slide down it. Things like that,” she smiled as they all understood. “While stripping.”

“Stripping..?” Cullen hesitated.

“Myself. I danced while getting naked. That was my job.”

Another pause.

“It would take quite a bit of strength, this pole dancing,” Leliana commented, looking her over.

“I am very strong, yes,” she smiled. “There’s one move where you hold your body out parallel to the floor with your arms while ‘walking’ your legs as you spiral down. And you can see I am not light.”

“We can use that,” Cullen said, thoughtfully. “You will need to learn to defend yourself. Being strong and fit is a good start. Maybe pole arms, something slightly familiar."

Bianca paused, and visualized herself yanking the pole out of the floor and beating some of the nastier customers with it. “Learn to beat people with a stick? I can do that.”

Cullen’s eyes crinkled with amusement.

“Do you have family?” Josephine asked.

“Yes. My mom,” Bianca clenched her fists, suddenly missing her mother desperately. “Though I guess maybe not. Not here. Not anymore.”

“And-”

“Look. It doesn’t matter. Anything about me. It doesn’t matter. I am here now, and I am-” she shut her eyes. “I am here now. Doing this. Can I go now? I have a desperate need to go learn to beat people with sticks.”

“Yes, of course,” Josephine said, frowning. “We will continue, and let you know when your input is needed. If you could please go by the seamstress sometime today to get your measurements?”

“Yeah, sure,” Bianca rubbed her eyes. “Where is that?”

“I can show you on the way to the training grounds,” Cullen said, shifting. “If you will accompany me?”

“Yeah. Thank you.” She shifted awkwardly. “Good to meet you guys.”

She left the room with the eyes of all three women on her. 

It was not a comfortable feeling.

\---

The walk through town to the training grounds was only mildly awkward. Cullen pointed out a few important places in town - requisitions, the latrines, the bakery, the tavern, the seamstress, the tradesmen, and such.

“No baths in all that?”

Cullen laughed. “No, not in the town. We’ve set them up closer to the lake, to make the water hauling less arduous. Nothing fancy, mind, but it gets the job done.”

“I’ll take it,” she enjoyed the look of the village, in a fantasy-story kind of way. 

The training yard was outside of the protective wall around the town. Soldiers were in groups going through different drills. Cullen led her to the group practicing stances with plain staves, spoke with the officer running the drills briefly, and then headed off to do his own work.

She quickly lost herself in the familiar feeling of pushing her body, learning new moves, how to adjust them for her body. She thought of nothing but what she was feeling, how it felt to move through the forms.

It was exactly what she needed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I bring you an offering ♥️

“You want me to what?”

She looked across the map to Leliana.

“Mother Giselle is tending to the wounded in the Hinterlands, near Redcliffe. Speak to her, gain her support.”

“Josephine is the Diplomat. And didn’t you say there was a lot of fighting in the Hinterlands?”

“Yes,” Cullen said, frowning. “The mages and the rogue Templars.”

“And you want me to go there,” Bianca looked around at all of them, confused.

“Yes,” Cassandra said firmly. “We need to gain support. That she asked to speak to you is a good sign. There are also reports of rifts in the area, you can close them.”

“Okay, wait. I’m confused,” she raised her left hand. “This is the only mark we have.”

Everyone blinked at her.

“I can’t fight.”

“I saw you yesterday, you showed good progress in just-” Cullen started.

“No,” she interrupted. “I cannot _fight_. I am apparently your only hope at closing rifts and this Breach which threatens your entire _world_ and your first thought is to have me walk into a literal war zone for a chat?”

“You would not be going alone,” Cassandra said, sounding like that should have been obvious. “I will be going, and Solas and Varric would likely join you as well.”

“Oh, well then! Me and three other people going into a literal warzone, no problem,” she sighed and dug her palms into her eyes. “Look. You guys. My dudes. I am a non-combatant. I am also fucking important. You don’t have a spare mark. Obviously I have to go deal with rifts, but don’t you think it would be wise to use actual soldiers to go into the war zone first? And when that is calmed down, send me in to close the rifts? With a support team that is large enough to deal with things? A four person group, one of those people unable to do much except go through positioning drills with a plain staff, is going to be quickly exhausted.”

“We do not know how long it will take to deal with the war. We cannot wait indefinitely, we need to act.”

Bianca looked lost at Cassandra’s words and then rubbed her face with both of her hands.

“Right. Okay, but with a larger team? And why can’t she come here to talk to me, if she wants to? We have plenty of wounded here still if she wants to tend them.”

“We currently are in no position to ask favors. As I said earlier, you have been officially denounced by the Chantry, which is why having Mother Giselle interested in meeting you is important, but you must go to her in this case,” Josephine said, looking apologetic.

“A ragtag group of dissidents off to save the world, one fetch quest at a time,” Bianca sighed. “Alright. We hold the key to saving everyone, but we have to play politics, risking everything, because people are ridiculous.”

“Yes,” Cullen smirked.

“Fuck. Alright. I want really good armor, though. And alcohol.”

“That can be arranged,” Leliana nodded with a small smile. “We did have one other thing we wished to discuss.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes,” Leliana pulled Bianca’s pack out from the corner. “This.”

“My stuff!” Bianca reached for the pack, hugging it tightly. “I didn’t realize it came through with me.”

“Came through from where is the question,” Leliana said. 

“Ah,” Bianca said, thinking wildly. “Look, you need me. You can’t burn me at the stake or whatever.”

“Burn you-” Josephine looked startled. “Of course not, we just wish to... understand. Very little of what is in this pack is familiar, and those things that are familiar are made in a way that is not.”

“Well. I was going camping. My friend Daniel told me about a really nice place out on some rich lady’s land. The lady’s never there, so no real risk or anything. But I had to hike in. So this is my camping gear. I was going to spend the weekend away from everything.”

She dug into her bag, pulling out a smushed Milky Way bar, tearing it open and taking a bite. She moaned happily and chewed.

“There was a tower? An old stone one, falling apart. I got curious about it, so I squeezed through some trees to see what was inside. There was this giant broken mirror. Didn’t show my reflection at all. I fell and cut my hands, and then,” she sighed. “I woke up in the dark. I found my way out to where there was light. It gets really fuzzy after that. And then.. You know the rest.”

“Where are you from?”

“Seattle. Well, not really Seattle, but you know how it is when you live in a smaller town near a big city and people just keep saying ‘where?’ until you give up and lump all cities into one,” she looked around at their confused faces. “Ah. Well, I can tell you that my home is not on your map.”

Everyone stared at the map quietly.

“Also, I’ve never seen magic before. Or demons. Or… people with pointy ears.”

“Elves?” Leliana said, face blank. “You do not have elves where you are from? What about dwarves or qunari?”

“Elves!” she smacked herself on the forehead. “Not Vulcans. Right. Dwarves?”

“Like Varric,” Cassandra added, staring at her intently.

“Varric’s a dwarf? Huh,” Bianca pursed her lips. “I just thought he was really short. And stocky. Cool. And yeah, no. We’ve just got humans. Never even heard of Qunari.”

“Well,” Josephine said airily. “This is certainly not information we need getting out. We will need to meet and decide what we will be telling people.”

“Does that mean I can’t use my stuff? Because it’s probably better than what you guys are using,” she paused. “No offence.”

“We can go through it and find compromises, I’m sure.”

\---

The backpack was made acceptable with a combination of replacing the plastic buckles with small metal hooks and a waxed fabric cover.

The tent wasn’t really ever going to blend in, but they decided it could be used in areas where there weren’t a lot of people, or when it was miserable enough that they didn’t care. A tent that was really waterproof was far too valuable to discard. And it would be big enough to fit 4 people, as long as none of them was very large (she had nearly borrowed a one-person tent from Daniel because she hadn’t wanted to carry her big tent on her back; she was very glad that she hadn’t).

Water filtering system and water purifying tabs were, of course, fine as is. They were impressed with her lighters, Leatherman tool, and her knife. They thought her cooking gear was small, but were impressed with the lightness and how little space it took up. 

The spork was much admired, and they actually had a surprisingly long conversation about the different types of sporks she’d used. Bianca was pretty sure sporks were going to show up in Thedas very soon.

In general, it was decided that she could use her things. The more alien thing would be best used minimally and out of sight, unless necessary. Several things, like her first aid kid, were wrapped to look more mundane.

She returned to her cabin to rest, curling up in her bed with her can of Pringles (sourcream and cheddar), and her phone’s extensive library. She was suddenly in a world with elves and dwarves, surely a rereading of The Hobbit was in order. She considered Lord of the Rings, but decided something more light hearted would be nice, to offset the existential dread of her actual life.

\---

Thedas was not like Middle Earth, she mused as she watched the people in the town. This seemed to be a human town, but she saw a few dwarven people around, and elves. The elves were the most confusing part. Nearly every story with elves made them out to be otherworldly - ethereal ageless beings of unmatched beauty, grace and intelligence. 

She shifted on the crate she’d claimed as a seat. Her butt was so cold. She sipped her mug of tea, sad that it had cooled so quickly.

These elves, though, were so… downtrodden. And people were thoughtlessly dickish towards them. She also saw several that were old.

“I guess not immortal then,” she muttered to herself, eyeing an older elven woman carrying a bucket of water.

“Immortal?”

She choked on her tea, and raised her hand to wipe off her dripping chin. Solas moved in front of her, looking amused.

She smiled ruefully. “Hello again! Your beauty brought me through the dangers of the mountain, but will apparently kill me in the village.”

“A heroic death for the Herald of Andraste. Blessed Savior of us all,” he smirked. “until she perished battling a mouthful of tea. Another reason to detest the stuff.”

“Fucking depressing, that,” she sipped her tea. “Me as a savior? Absurd.”

“And yet, you stopped the Breach from growing. You are their savior. The posturing is necessary, no matter how strange it may feel.”

“Yeah, I guess. Good stories spread better and all that. I get it, I do. I just never expected to be the hero of a story.”

“No?”

She looked up at him thoughtfully. “You, though. You could be.”

“I? I’m afraid the people of Thedas would react poorly to an elven apostate claiming to be their savior.”

She waved him off. “No, that’s just the thing. Mysterious background, indeterminate age, _magic_. And you can’t tell me there aren’t any elven heroes, that’s ridiculous.”

His eyes narrowed and he paused. “Not many that humans would admit to. They write them out of their histories, round their ears in official art. If there were an elven hero, they would rewrite the story to hide the fact within a generation.”

Bianca was very confused. “A human generation, or an elven one?”

Solas paused. “Ah. You were saying such, when I found you. There are stories about how the elves were once immortal, but I am afraid that that is no longer the case, if it ever was. Elves in Thedas live short, hard lives, generally as slaves or servants.”

“ _Slaves!?_ ” Bianca looked around wildly. “Are there fucking _slaves_ here? What the _fuck_?”

“Ah,” Solas gestured to the house they were near. “I think this conversation would be best had privately.”

Bianca nodded, still wild eyed, and followed him inside his cabin.

She sat when he gestured for her to sit at the small table.

“Now,” Solas said carefully. “You may ask me your questions.”

Bianca pressed her face into her hands. “Alright. So. First. Cassandra said that you and Varric would be joining us while we travel?”

“Yes.”

“Right, so you’re going to learn this anyway, I think they were going to just tell everyone together? You know, I don’t actually know the plan. I ran away. Possibly there is a different plan. Or no plan. I don’t fucking know. But Solas… I am not from Thedas.”

His eyebrows raised and he joined her at the table. “Contrary to the belief of the people here, there is a world beyond Thedas.”

“Oh, no,” she waved dramatically. “I’m an extra special sunshine princess; I’m from another world entirely.”

“Are you?” he blinked and narrowed his eyes. “And how came you to this one?”

“You know what? I did it properly. It was weird at first, but the more I think about it, the more I think it was actually pretty awesome. Like a story. I found a falling down stone tower in the woods and it somehow transported me here into the building that blew up.”

Solas’ eyebrows raised. “Into the Temple of Sacred Ashes? That is a good story. Do you know how?”

Bianca sighed. “No. There was an awesome mirror. Well, can you call it a mirror if it’s non-reflective? But it looked like an awesome mirror,” she shook her head. “But that didn’t do anything, I… No,” she paused. “I touched it. The mirror. After I cut my hands. Before, it did nothing, but I came through when I touched it with a bleeding hand.”

She looked up at Solas, and laughed. “I came through a magic blood mirror, Solas. Into another world with elves and dwarves. But not Hobbits? Or Orcs?”

Solas seemed to need a moment.

“I… Hobbits?”

“Hobbits or halflings? They’re a people that are very short, shorter than dwarves. With very hairy feet? They farm and eat a lot.”

“No, Hobbits are not known here. Humans, dwarves, elves, and qunari, though qunari are rare in the south.”

“And your elves used to be immortal and now they aren’t?”

“Yes,” he said heavily.

“They went from magical, immortal beings to,” she grimaced. “Mortal slaves and servants? What the fuck happened?”

“There was a war,” he murmured. “And every other option was worse.”

She nodded. “And dwarves? Are they mostly underground, mining?”

“The Blight has decimated the dwarven population. They once live throughout Thedas in mighty kingdoms, but now there are two cities, as disconnected from each other as they are from their history.”

“Well, shit.”

“Indeed.”

“So this world, what I know so far - humans, elves, dwarves, and qunari. The elves are subjugated by the humans and no longer immortal. There’s a war between mages and Templars? I don’t know what Templars are. And the dwarves are dying out because of a Blight. And now the sky is opened and demons are raining down upon us all through tears in reality and you guys are depending on me to save you.”

“Yes,” Solas smiled.

“I want you to know something very important, Solas.”

He raised his eyebrows.

“You are putting the future of this entire world on a stripper. My skill set includes pole dancing and taking off my clothes for money.”

He blinked at her then, before laughing. A good laugh, full and long. When he was finally done, he wiped his eyes and smiled at her. “Well. Every war needs a hero, I am curious what kind you will be.”

“A really flexible one, don’t worry.”

He grinned. “Tell me of your world?”

“Of course. Ask whatever, though I’d rather do most of the explaining to everyone at once so I don’t have to repeat.”

“Of course. What are some of the similarities between your world and this one?”

“People. I mean, obviously we somehow speak the same language? Which makes absolutely zero sense, but I’m not going to argue against it, as it’s handy. Humans seem to be the same? Which, again, super weird. The plants also seem pretty similar, too. I haven’t really seen any animals, so I can’t speak to that. The technology here is similar to my world a few hundred years ago. Culturally, we’ll have to see.”

He nodded. “And differences?”

“Magic. Elves. Dwarves. Tears in reality. Demons are fucking new, and unwanted. I haven’t seen enough to be able to say. The Fade? That’s not a thing I know about in my world.”

“It is likely you have something similar if you were able to cross over to Thedas. An old connection, possibly. What is it like, having an entire world populated only by humans?”

“It’s a lot like this? I mean, in the past, it was like this. Now we have cars, computers, guns, zippers. We have to work less for the basics, we have machines for washing dishes and laundry. Our hygiene is improved, and likely our medicine. Though you guys have magic potions, so I’ll have to see more to compare. We still hate each other for how we look, don’t worry.”

He nodded. “Very common with all people. As you notice things, feel free to discuss them with me. I am curious about another world, especially one with so many similarities.”

“Totally, I appreciate that,” she nodded, and then noticed his ears again. “Solas? Slavery? Are there slaves here in town?”

“Not openly. In Ferelden, it is illegal,” he shrugged. “But slavers aren’t uncommon, and while elves are the more common target, humans aren’t safe from them, either. This war has destabilized Thedas and slavers are taking full advantage.”

“The elves in town,” she started, hesitant. “They flinch away from everyone. They don’t look me in the eye, and they look malnourished. Most people do, compared to my world, but the elves especially.”

“Yes,” he nodded. “They are not treated well. In cities, humans use them for sport. In Orlais, they are hunted as an initiation into the Chevaliers. They are dismissed as vermin, though vermin humans want in their beds.”

“Ah. I hate everything about that,” she licked her lips. “I didn’t… When I talk about how pretty you are, I didn’t realize that elves were fetishized. I just… I was stressed out and you are gorgeous, so I figured it would lighten the mood. In my world, Elves are these immortal, intelligent, ethereal, the embodiment of beauty and grace. Which is not the case here, the elves in the village are just… people.” 

“Indeed.”

They both paused, lost in their own thoughts. She scrambled to find a less stressful subject.

“I came through with stuff. A giant camping pack. We’ll be using some of it on the trip, I’m sure.”

Solas’ face lit up with interest. “I look forward to seeing that.”

“Yeah,” she nodded. “Maybe that can be part of the discussion before we go. Going through gear to understand what I have, how that might change what other people bring. Or something.”

“That is a good idea. For now, I think it is time for the evening meal.”

“Oh!” She stood quickly. “I’m sorry for taking so much of your time. I was going to go to the tavern for dinner, did you… want to join me?”

“Another time,” he smiled. “I have some food here, and some research I need to do. But, Herald, I must caution you before you go; do not mention blood and magic together around others. Blood magic is feared here, and even being suspected of practicing it is often a death sentence.”

Bianca stared at him, wide-eyed. “Oh. Well, fuck.”

“Indeed. I will spend some time tonight putting together a lesson on magic in Thedas and how it is treated culturally and historically.”

“I would appreciate that. I will not bring up magic at all tonight, to be safe.”

“A wise decision. Goodnight, Herald.”

She groaned. “Goodnight, Professor.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've been working on chapter 5 since I started posting this and still haven't finished it. Hopefully I'll have it next week, but things will certainly settle back into my normal As I Can posting schedule instead of this Mostly Weekly. (I tried to post this one earlier this week but realized it needed more work.)
> 
> TW: dead kids in this one, brief

It took some time to get her appropriate clothing and armor. She’d never had clothing made for her before, and it was more of a process than she’d imagined. Measuring, testing, seemingly endless changes. The armor had to be worn and tested through drills several times before people were satisfied with the fit.

The armor was interesting. She thought she might be head to toe steel, but she was in layers of leather, cloth, and metal that ended up looking like she was wearing a very bulky coat, with petals of leather tipped in metal draped over her shoulders, and center panel that hung like a loin cloth made from layered downward pointing triangles. She hoped it’d stop feeling annoying soon.

The boots were fantastic, though, and she was warm enough. She could also easily wear her earth clothing underneath.

Preparations were under way for their trip into the active war zone. Though war didn’t seem like the correct term for her, not the way she understood war. Warring factions, yes, but not… She shook her head. Warring factions sounded like war, so therefore it was war. Most people in a country weren’t actively at war, it was always small groups killing people around them as an “unfortunate but unavoidable” consequence of the conflict.

She’d been spending her time learning. 

An older Chantry woman had been sent to teach her to read and write in Common. It was less difficult than it could have been, just learning new symbols for sounds she already knew. Honestly, the spelling was a lot easier than English spelling.

She was training with the polearms, and she really enjoyed it. She was still at a very basic level, and stood no chance against someone with fighting skills, but that would come. 

If she didn’t get killed.

In the evenings, she was to be found in the tavern, listening. The songs that were sung, the stories that were told, the way people interacted told her a huge amount about the world. She especially enjoyed Varric’s stories. He always invited her to join him, but she found that she preferred being at the bar, her back to the room. She could still listen, but she got very little attention that way. She needed to learn about this world, she didn’t want anyone learning about her.

\---

“Have you spoken with Varric?” Solas had caught her as she was meandering through town.

“I haven’t, no,” she twisted her mouth. “He’s very popular. Everyone wants to be around him all the time, and he seems to go out of his way to be in the middle of everything.”

Solas nodded. “You should speak to him before we leave. We will have other soldiers around, but my understanding is that we will be a slightly separate group, with them acting as a forward guard.”

“Ugh, yeah,” she looked around, not seeing Varric. “Do you want to split up to find him and then meet back at my place? You wanted to look through my stuff, anyway, and he could do it at the same time.”

He paused. “You should know that having men in your private room will attract attention.”

“Yeah,” she grinned. “I heard some pretty good rumors about us already. I don’t know how else to do this, though. Hauling everything into the Chantry is silly. Meeting you alone in a meeting room isn’t magically better than my bedroom. I could fuck you on a table just as well as I could a bed.”

There was a shocked noise behind her and she closed her eyes, deciding it was better to not know who had just overheard that sentence.

“Indeed,” Solas sounded amused.

“You know what,” she threw up her hands. “I am going to my room to get things ready. I obviously can’t be trusted to speak around normal people.”

“I will meet you there after collecting Varric.”

“Thank you,” she sighed. “Honestly, we’re going to be traveling together, the rumors will start no matter what.”

“Likely,” he inclined his head. “Tents are no more complicated than beds and tables.”

She snickered. “Indeed."

\---

She laid out her things on the bed. She needed to pack for the trip, anyway, so it was a good time to be really sure and pack it nicely.

There was a knock at the door and she sighed, not looking forward to doing this again. It was a huge risk, letting a new person to learn her secret. Varric seemed okay, but he loved to tell stories and had written a very detailed book about his best friend.

Maybe she should just use Thedan things and hide her background from everyone. That was safer, even though her ignorance and inexperience about basic things would catch attention. And she didn’t want to go without her water filter or sleeping bag.

Surely he would understand the need for keeping secrets.

She took a deep breath and shook out her arms, wiggling her jaw to relax it. She opened the door. “Welcome, handsome men! Please, do come into my cabin where we will be alone!”

Varric snorted. “Good evening, Herald.”

She waved them in, sighing at the people she caught staring and firmly closing the door.

“So, why are we making rumors?” Varric raised an eyebrow at her.

“I figure it’s best to embrace it. I was making a joke about rumors with Solas earlier and someone overheard me telling him I could fuck him on a table as well as a bed. I am not made for this,” she flailed her hands. “Properness? Places where I need to have discretion about things? I don’t know. I’m going to blame cultural differences and pretend my own didn’t shun me, too.”

“And where is it that you’re from again?” He was looking over the contents of her bed.

“This,” she sighed. “Is what we need to talk about. These are my camping supplies. You’ll notice, I hope, that they don’t look like the ones you’re used to. I have a suitably dramatic origins story, which you will be let in on, but it’s… it’s not a thing to be telling people about unless I have to. You’ll be one of my close traveling companions, so you’re being told. Same with Solas, Cassandra, Sister Leliana, the Commander, and Lady Montilyet. No one else.”

“I understand. Contrary to popular belief, I can actually keep a secret.”

“Of course. The best way to hide a secret is to spin a story.”

He smiled at her and nodded.

“So. I was hiking, found some ruins, touched a mirror, woke up in the Temple.”

“A mirror? Like an eluvian? Big thing, fancy looking?”

“You know of eluvians?” Solas looked surprised.

“Yeah,” Varric ran a hand down his face. “A friend of mine in Kirkwall was trying to fix one. She managed to clear the Blight from it, but… It’s a long sad story.”

“One I would be very interested in hearing, when you’ve a mind,” Solas murmured. 

Varric shook his head and gestured for her to go on.

“Anyway. So. Hi, my name is Bianca, I’m a human from a world you’ve never heard of. One without dwarves, elves, or magic. I went on a hike one day to get some time alone, and fell into a very alien world, and am apparently being set up as a holy figure in a war I do not understand.”

Varric blinked at her.

She grimaced.

He rubbed a hand over his mouth looking her over. “Well shit.”

She laughed nervously. “Yes, quite. Anyway. I had my pack with me when I came through, so I have all this cool shit, and I’m bringing it with me on the trip, because fuck you guys’ stuff, honestly. Mine’s generally better. I just want you to not freak out.”

“I’m going to have so many questions when I’ve had a minute to think.”

“And I will answer some of them for sure. Apparently we’re traveling on foot, we’re going to have so much time to fill. Come over here and I’ll explain all the things I’ve got out.”

\---

They set out a day after a larger group of soldiers. Ideally the soldiers would smooth the way so that Bianca could travel with Cassandra, Varric, and Solas in relative safety.

They each had a large pack, carrying their own things with the group equipment split between them. They’d left Bianca’s tent behind for this trip, the weather in the Hinterlands was mild this time of year and there was no reason to draw attention.

The others spent the morning explaining Thedas to Bianca. There were several tense moments where opinions clashed, and she was grateful for it. If they all agreed, she’d know she was only getting one view, and this world was enough of a mess she wanted as many viewpoints explained to her as possible.

They stopped for lunch, all of them dropping their packs and sitting down with relief.

“Fuck, are we there yet?” Bianca whined, flopping in the grass on her back.

“No,” Cassandra said, firmly. “It is likely it will take five and a half days.”

“I know you told me that,” Bianca said through her hands. “But it’s more real now. This is so slow.”

“We hope to get horses while we’re there. That will make traveling easier,” Cassandra said, digging out the meat pie she’d brought along for lunch.

“Not used to walking all day?” Varric took a bite of his own pie.

“I mean, I go hiking,” She sat up and dug out her own pie. “I guess I’m probably still recovering from whatever the fuck happened to me. I’ve been unconscious rather a lot lately, and have a hellmouth in my hand. I get to be tired.”

“Hellmouth?” Solas looked amused. “Interesting term.”

“I’m a real fucking poet,” she agreed.

“How did you travel?” Varric asked.

“Oh, my darlings,” she said, mouth full. “Let me tell you the joys of horseless carriages. And trains.”

She swallowed and drank from her water bottle. She’d used her Gravity Works filter to give everyone clean water refills from a stream a few hours earlier.

“Machines. We travel with machines. Trains run on tracks. You might use a similar idea with mining carts? But they’re huge, and can carry cargo or people across countries. And cars are smaller, usually 6-8 seats and owned by individuals, used to drive everywhere. They can go 100 miles per hour, though they usually go about 65. 25 in busy areas where they might hit people. Trains are faster.”

“So quickly?” Cassandra looked amazed. They all did.

“Yeah. They’re complicated. I don’t really know how to say they work, but I probably could explain it to a mechanically minded person. I think it generally gets down to getting pistons to move, and channeling that power to the axles. And then, you know. Brakes and seats, and windshield wipers. They’re complex.”

“That would change so much,” Varric said, thoughtfully. 

“It did. People spread out more, and you obviously can travel more easily. And faster. Horses will be faster than walking, but it’s not going to be by a lot, I don’t reckon.”

“No. It can actually be slower, depending on the terrain, but they carry more.”

“My back would appreciate that.”

\---

There was a wagon off the side of the road, though no horses to pull it. 

The others slowed down, looking around carefully, but Bianca couldn’t see anyone. Maybe it had broken an axle or something, and the people had had to leave it.

The wind shifted then, bringing a smell that dashed any of her hopes that nothing was wrong. It was cloying, and she gagged.

As they pulled up near the wagon, they found a family in the back, laid out neatly.

Varric swore while Solas and Cassandra looked grim.

Bianca couldn’t look away. There were children. Three children. And someone had killed them and just left them.

“Solas,” Cassandra spoke. “Can you-”

Solas nodded. He spread his arms and fire sprang up in the wagon. Another gesture and it flamed higher, hotter.

The smell changed. Bianca slid off her pack, moving away from the others, away from the fire to vomit, sobbing and choking, on her hands and knees.

Varric went to her, comforting her while Solas maintained the fire and Cassandra kept watch.

No one spoke. There wasn’t anything to say.

And it kept happening. 

More bodies as they walked, just left lying where they'd fallen. 

Like garbage. 

“How,” asked Bianca hoarsely after they passed a pile of dead men in Templar armor. “How will people know what happened to them?”

“They won’t,” Varric said quietly. “Not for sure. You want to cremate them, because they can pick up spirits and start walking around again.”

“What?”

“Yeah. That not a thing where you come from? The undead?”

“In _movies_. Your world is absolutely appalling. What the fuck. So why have we left most of them?”

“The family was in a wagon which burned easily. And there were children,” Solas looked grim. “I am sorry. It’s wrong, but we must keep moving. If we were to stop every time we find a body, we would cause significant delay, and that would likely cause more death in the end.”

“Right,” Bianca said, wiping her eyes. She’d never felt this way before, this helpless, terrified despair. “Focus on the needs of the living. The dead can apparently fight for themselves later.”

“Indeed,” said Cassandra, grimly.

\---

When they finally got to the camp, they were greeted by the most beautiful woman Bianca had ever seen. She was short - a dwarf- and her hair was braided back away from her face. She had bright eyes, and so many freckles.

The woman spoke. She sounded friendly, and her voice was beautiful, but Bianca couldn't process a thing that was being said.

She couldn't feel her body, her tongue felt too large, her mouth was dry. 

She checked and her mouth was shut, no drool, and that was probably the best she could hope for.

The woman looked uncomfortable. Something was wrong. Bianca panicked. She was fucking this up. This... this perfect being was sad. She would fix this.

She opened her mouth, but her mind went blank. There was nothing. Words and logic had left her, and she was failing at this. She was ruining everything.

Everyone was awkwardly silent. Possibly. She could only hear the sound of her internal wordless screaming. 

She opened her mouth again. "Freckles."

The woman blinked at her, looking confused 

Bianca nodded firmly, and with absolutely no dignity rushed to the nearest tent and went inside, accidentally stepping on one of the three people already inside. She sat down abruptly, buried her face in her hands and refused to acknowledge anyone.

She heard quite a lot of quiet conversation; several people tried to speak with her but she didn't move until, eventually, the people packed up their things and left the tent.

That was so much worse than them ignoring her and staying. Now this was a _thing_. This would be _discussed_.

Varric joined her, rolling out his bedroll bedside her and patting her on the back.

"I can't even tease you about this one. That was painful. Scout Harding, with the, ah, freckles, says that the situation is grim. A lot of fighting at the crossroads, though the Inquisition people are trying to help. They haven't been able to find the horsemaster because of the conflict."

Bianca groaned and threw herself backwards, covering her face. "Maybe one of them will kill me then. That's the only answer."

He half smiled at her. "They would be only too happy to oblige, but we can't let that happen."

"I'm sorry. If this mark was worth anything, it would have opened a rift to swallow me. It's obviously broken. Solas will figure something out. You guys will be fine. I cannot ever leave this tent, and if I do, it will be to march straight to my death."

"Hey," he said, patting her again. "It happens. You're under a lot of stress. We all have our limits and if yours was Scout Harding, well, who wouldn't be flattered by that?"

"The fucking Herald of Andraste, unable to function around pretty girls. So inspiring."

He laughed quietly. 

She whined. "But Varric, you saw her. Have you ever seen anyone so… beautiful? She's like," she flailed. "I want to give her _everything_ but I couldn't even process the words she was speaking."

"No?"

"No! My entire brain dissolved. It was terrible. And then I stepped on someone and they left their tent! I'm the worst, I can't deal with this, you have to kill me," she spoke with increasing urgency.

"They were confused, but there are other tents. It'll be fine."

There was a scratching on the tent and then Cassandra's voice, "Herald, can we speak?"

She groaned. "I'm not the damned Herald! I'm dead, I am dying, please let me just die."

There was a pause and Cassandra came into the tent, sitting near the door. "No. We need to plan our next steps."

"I can't go out there again. She might be out there. I can't see her again."

"Is there something wrong with Scout Harding? She's very well thought of-"

"No! There's absolutely nothing wrong with her!" hissed Bianca with fierce urgency.

Varric snickered.

Cassandra frowned at him. "Then-"

"I can't. No. You talk to her, figure things out, we can leave as soon as possible and deal with all the things that are Not Here."

"I.." Cassandra looked helplessly at Varric. "Very well then."

\---

Bianca stayed in the Inquisition camp until the Crossroads had been deemed safe. She spent her time in the tent by herself, even after Varric told her Scout Harding had left the camp for her next assignment.

Bianca didn't even want to know what they'd told her to explain her own ridiculous behavior.

This was all… a lot.

She used her alone time productively. She stared blankly at the roof of the tent for a good while, crying silently, and then went to sleep.

\---

“Herald?”

“Maude?”

“What?” There was a pause, and someone came into the tent. “No, it’s Cassandra. The Crossroads is cleared, you need to meet with Mother Giselle.”

“Can’t you do it? I have no idea what to say to anyone.”

“No,” Cassandra pulled off her blanket. “Up.”

And then she was left alone again.

She sighed and heaved herself up. She had a headache.

She pulled out her water bottle, drinking probably half of it, and then pulled out some of her food from home. She took a tortilla, added tuna, mayo and mustard packs, and mixed with her finger, before wrapping it and eating, quietly.

It was delicious.

She followed it with a strawberry fruit leather, and then more water.

She shouldn’t be eating this food, she would probably regret it when she was stuck somewhere and had inadequate food (which seemed really fucking likely), but she just needed it.

Emotionally.

She ducked out of the tent, still munching her fruit leather and nearly ran into Cassandra, who was apparently about to come drag her out.

They blinked at each other and Bianca took another bite. “We ready? I need to pee and then I’m good to go.”

Cassandra gestured, and Bianca went that way until she found the small trench the camp was using as a bathroom. Lovely. She was so glad she brought her p-style to Thedas.

\---

The Crossroads was a tiny little hamlet. Were it not for the stench of fear and death, Bianca might think it rather idyllic. Idyllic was always ruined by reality in Thedas, she was getting tired of it. Cassandra pointed out a woman in the horrible Chantry outfit and left her alone. 

She couldn’t do this. That woman might as well be a dragon for the dread she brought out in Bianca. She looked around desperately for someone to help her. She spotted Solas helping with the healing in another group. No good, she couldn’t interrupt healing with her bullshit. Spinning the other way, she saw Varric talking to a merchant and headed over to him.

“Varric, my favorite author!”

He laughed, and turned. “You haven’t even read my books.”

“Why ruin a beautiful friendship with critique? I need you.”

“I live to serve!”

“Great,” she linked her arm with his and started heading back over to Mother Giselle, before going scared and dragging him behind a house. “I have to somehow talk to this woman and make her feel good about me and the Inquisition,” she buried her face in her hands. “Fuck. I can’t do this. I’m not a fucking diplomat.”

Varric chuckled. “Try not to say fuck. That will go a long way.”

“I haven’t even done anything. The soldiers fought. Solas is healing people. I just napped in a tent because I had a complete meltdown over a beautiful woman.”

He shook his head and looked at her seriously. “You’re our hope. You can close the rifts. You stopped the Breach from growing. We’re able to do anything because you gave us the space to do it.’

“I didn't! My hand did. Anyone else would have done better, I-” she teared up. “I can’t do this, Varric. This, this fucking world, I can’t do this. I’m so fucking scared all the time. I can’t… there are…”

He pulled her down to cry into his shoulder, which was awkward with their height differences. “Hey now, no one could do this alone, but you aren’t alone. You have all of us. We’re all here to get you through this, okay? This part here? This is just politics. A game. There’s very little you could do to scare this lady off. She just wanted to know that you would come. She used her influence to get you here, so that your people would help these people. And you did that. Now it’s her turn. She wants to help you already. You just need to be the human face to the organization, that’s all.”

“How about a handsome dwarven face instead?” she whined into his shoulder.

“Oh, ha,” He patted her back. “She’s a Chantry Mother. There’s no way she could handle all of this.”

He waved a hand down his body, which she felt more than saw and Bianca started giggling.

“So few could,” She pulled away from him and smiled, kissed his cheek and straightened. “You’re a prince among men.”

“And don’t you forget it!” he winked, and then handed her a handkerchief from his pocket.

She wiped her face and took a deep breath. “Right. Talking. Human face. I can do this.”

“You can do this.”

She scrunched up her face and sighed. “How about instead we run off and hide until this is all over?”

“Cassandra would find us and no one wants that,” he said, dryly. “Go on now. You go talk to the Mother and I’ll let you play with my chest hair a bit later.”

She raised her hand to her forehead dramatically, “I don’t know if I can handle that, I might just pass out from the thought!”

“I know, I know,” he patted her hip. “It’s a burden I bear. I’ll be right here watching you, if she starts to run, I can pin her for you.”

“That might be necessary. Stand ready,” She drew herself up, saluted him in the Thedan manner and marched herself out to battl-- talk to the Mother.

\---

Twenty minutes later found her in a storage room with Varric crying on his shoulder again, while she petted his chest hair.

It had gone fine, but now apparently she was supposed to go to a big city and convince people making a power play that she was a good bet.

He was trying to distract her by telling stories about Hawke, and it worked pretty well. She eventually stopped crying, wiping her face with the very sodden hanky.

“Hawke sounds hot,” she muttered.

“He could have had his pick of any of his companions. It wasn’t even his looks, though you are correct, he was handsome. He just had this _magnetism._ Everyone wanted to fuck him or be him.”

“And you wanted both.”

He chuckled. “You hush now. Bianca would be jealous.”

“Bianca is jealous,” she snuggled closer, raking her fingers through his chest hair idly. 

He poked her.

She grinned.

“Thanks, Varric. You’re a sweetie.”

“I am not. I’m a hardened business man.”

“I am trying so desperately to hold back on molesting you right now, don’t start talking about hardening.”

They laughed together.

“Herald!” They heard Cassandra calling for her through the door.

Bianca had time to whine into Varric's shoulder before the door was yanked open and Cassandra looked in.

“Her- oh!” Cassandra sputtered. “ _Varric!_ ”

Bianca burst out laughing and Varric joined her.

“Cassandra?” He asked when he could.

“The Herald is needed for a meeting. I can’t believe you two!”

Bianca kissed Varric’s cheek and got up. “Gotta feel alive somehow, Cass. You should probably give it a go.”

“Give it a-! Absolutely not. This is not the time for such distractions!” She glared at them.

Bianca moved past her, patting her shoulder. “This is the exact time for such distractions. While we can.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> P-style! I have one. They're great. My daughter even used it when she was 2.  
> https://www.thepstyle.com/
> 
> And the Herald? Maude? bit is referencing the movie Harold and Maude, which I adore.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you guys are doing well. ♥️

“What we need,” Bianca said as they tried to plan their next steps. “Is an emergency response team. And protocols.”

“What do you mean?” Cassandra frowned.

“Well. So,” Bianca paused to think. “There are a lot of layers to this situation, right? We’ve got the holes in reality spitting out demons, we’ve got this mage and templar war, we’ve got refugees.”

She raised her hands in the air to fix each listed problem in the air to help organize her thoughts. “Now, below each of those, there’s the next layer. The Breach came with a massive death toll, including the leaders of the Chantry, so that’s a giant mess and we get to deal with the power vacuum it created, and everyone trying to take advantage. We’ve got tears in the sky spilling out demons, and we can only know about them when someone sees them and thinks to let us know. We’ve got people who were imprisoned their entire lives and taught no useful skills suddenly out in the world, but still hated and feared by everyone, so that’s going to lead to a shit ton of desperation and badness. We’ve got a well-trained sadistic fighting force out to kill them and anyone else they see, apparently, with no one able or willing to stop them. And then an increase in the normal bandits because people are desperate, and slavers, because why the fuck not.”

She closed her eyes, and clicked her teeth. “So. Then there’s us. No power, no supporters, no money, not enough people helping us yet to be able to be as efficient as we’d like. But. Like, we have an idea of what to do, right? We go where people have said there are rifts, we close the rifts. We help refugees. We help with the mage and templar issue. Possibly we could approach some of them and get them to stop the bad things, and join up? Especially the mages.”

“The Templars-” Cassandra started.

“The Templars have no reason to be doing what they’re doing.” Bianca frowned. “It’s one thing if you’re locked up for life and, facing murder, fucking run out into the world to try to find a life, but it’s quite another to be the ones who planned to literally murder entire towers full of people. Including children. How can you defend that, honestly? And then to follow them out into the world and lose your head so completely that you start just murdering whoever comes along?”

“The Templars are not so evil as people would have you think,” Cassandra said, frowning. “They have a sacred duty. They do fail, they are still human, but mages are dangerous. Templars protect Thedas from malificar, and they protect mages from people who would harm them just for being mages.”

Bianca squinted at her. “Well. I mean, obviously I don’t know much about it yet, and this isn’t the time for a debate. I think that mages, scared and without options, might be more willing to join us, just to have a safe place to be. They’re literally running for their lives in the wilds of the world, with little to no experience even being outside.”

“Getting them to trust us enough to listen is the hard part,” Varric commented.

“Yeah,” Bianca sighed. “Anyway. So we need to get our people out into the world to find ways and places we can help, and to get the word out about us so that people who aren’t with us can know who to tell. And then we start to figure out where we should actually go. Like, why are we here and not somewhere else?”

“Mother Giselle is an important member of the Chantry, with connections to many. She wrote to us offering help with the Chantry if we would meet her here.”

“Right. So we first identified a goal - get Giselle to like us. Use her connections. So contact, prioritize, send the scouts to see what’s up, send soldiers for support. What are we finding? Refugees. That can be anticipated. With the soldiers, we can send medical teams, supplies, people to drum up support for us as an organization, and also people to recruit. Ideally we’re just doing the first part of the process, and we can build a support structure with the people living here to continue the work. A town should already have leadership, and healers. Or people who can be trained as healers - look for midwives, or moms who raised a bunch of kids who are mostly grown now.”

She paused. “Sorry, I think I lost my thoughts. Less specifics. We need to set up teams to make the process easier. And policies and protocols for how they work together and shit. Ideally with the intent to stabilize, and then turn the control over to the local people. I get that I’ve got the glowing hand, but I am not going to be on the forward team. I am not going to be the one hunting down supplies in the hills, and fighting bandits. I’m one person, and I’m the only one who can shut the rifts. We need to use our people wisely, we don’t have a lot of them.”

“People will want to see you,” Cassandra insisted. “They want the Herald.”

“Well, that’s nice for them,” Bianca raised her eyebrow. “But I’m pretty sure what they really want is to not get murdered, have enough food, and to not worry about a demon ripping their face off. I am exactly one human, and I’ve got limits.”

“You are the Herald of Andraste and-”

“-and yet I am actually not. I am exactly one human, and I have limits. I have this thing stuck in my hand, so I am doing my best, but I am not going to be paraded about risking my life for you guys to try to deify me. No.”

“Might it be possible,” Solas interjected, watching them both. “For us to be part of the forwarding parties, as we were in this case. The scouts first, to assess, the soldiers as back up, and then the Herald as part of the command staff in the field, organizing and assigning tasks. She would be seen in the most troubled locations, and be able to meet the local leaders, help feed the hungry, and then close all the rifts when the area was deemed safe enough. When she left, support would be in place, and the area would be noticeably safer and more stable.”

Bianca pointed at him triumphantly. “Solas is as intelligent as he is lovely. What he said. That sounds sensible to me.”

Cassandra rolled her eyes at the flirt while Varric smirked. “We should discuss this with Leliana and the others when we get back to Haven. For now, however, we need to decide what we’re doing tomorrow.”

“Alright," she ran her fingers through her hair, feeling overwhelmed. "So. There’s a food shortage because hunters aren’t safe hunting. Did they not have livestock? I see fields, are they all destroyed? We need to figure that out, if someone else hasn’t. And send out a hunting party from our soldiers? Or soldiers with a local hunting party? I don’t know how hunting works. I assume they have people here, unless they all tried to protect people and got murdered. Medical. It looks like that’s covered? Gisselle was doing stuff, but we can double check about that. Supplies. You said that dude knew about caches? So have everyone looking for those when they’re out and about. Mages and templars in the area, we need to send troops to find where they’re holed up and…”

She paused. 

“And kill them,” Varric said gently. “So that they’ll stop killing people.”

“I,” Bianca said, firmly. “Need to go for a walk.”

“You should not go alone,” Cassandra said, frowning.

“Every aspect of my being is screaming right now. I either need to go be alone, go get in a fight, or fuck someone.”

There was a pause.

“Come,” Solas said, standing. “I will help.”

Varric had a sly grin. “I didn’t know you had it in you, Chuckles.”

Solas rolled his eyes. “We will train. Bring your staff.”

\---

Solas had a different style than she’d been taught, and it was interesting. 

After the third time he knocked her onto her ass, he smiled.

“You are getting more proficient. Good. We should begin your magical training. The Circles are wrong on many things, but an untrained mage can be a danger to themselves and others.”

_Oh, right. Magic._

“Honestly, I’d blocked out that whole thought,” she stood. “How do you train that?”

“There are several ways, but I find it best to begin with intent. What do you wish to learn?”

“Healing. Fire. How to stop a person.”

“Why?” He resumed his fighting position, motioning her to do the same. 

“I want,” she blocked an overhead strike. “To help. And also to not need matches to start fires. It’s cold here and starting fires manually sucks.”

He caught her ankle with his staff, making her wince and hop back. “And stopping a person? In what way?”

“Just,” she swung at his head and he easily dodged. “I don’t want to kill people. I know that’s silly in this fucking hellscape, but I don’t. If I could just…”

He knocked her down again, and stood over here, placing his staff against her throat. One move and he would crush her throat. “Yes?”

She sighed and closed her eyes. “I just want to be able to make them stop hurting people.”

“A wise goal,” he bent and helped her up. “All of them. You are very practical. It is a good thing to be in times such as these.” 

“I am perfect and every way, haven’t you heard?” she tilted her head curiously. “I’m the Herald of Andraste. Blessed Savior sent to save you all.”

“I had heard, yes. I will try not to forget in the future,” he bowed gracefully.

“See to it that you don’t. Now,” she grinned at him and wagged the fingers on her right hand. “Teach me your wondrous ways, my beautiful elvhen mage.”

\---

They moved away from the practice area, into a small area blocked from view by trees.

“So how do we do this?”

“I am curious what would come naturally to you. As far as I know, you have used no accidental magic. Generally, they would not know you were a mage at all until then. I only realized because your magic was interacting with the mark as I worked to stabilize it.”

“Oh,” she frowned. “So should I maybe just go without then? Because I haven’t been here long, but it didn’t take much to see that a mage is not treated well.”

“Hm,” Solas tilted his head. “You would prefer to not use all the resources available to you? Even if you were in situations where people were injured? Or when you’re cold and have no supplies for a fire?”

“Well, not when you put it that way,” she made a face at him. “So. What comes naturally?”

“Yes,” he leaned on his staff. “Magic is intent. Your willpower put into action. You must believe that you can do a thing, and then will it into being.”

He gestured and his palm filled with blue light. He moved his hand close to his face and blew into it, causing the light to dance off his palm in a wave of sparkles. “You are not from here, you will not have the same ideas of magic that someone here would have. Show me what magic looks like to you.”

She pursed her lips and looked around. She saw a stick and smirked, picking it up and trimming off the branches until it was a nice size. She sat on the ground, breathing deeply, closed her eyes, and tried to focus. 

_Magic was real. She could do magic._

“Wingardium Leviosa!” she cried, pointing the stick at one of the tiny discarded branches in front of her.

It twitched. She blinked and focused, leaning forward, really focusing on her twist and swish motion. "Wingardium Leviosa!”

The branch raised itself off the ground, trembling. It dropped when she cackled. “Holy fucking shit!”

She looked around wildly and then closed her eyes. “Lumos!”

The tip of her stick lit up and she shined it around the area before the effect faded. She looked up to Solas with a grin.

“Ta-da!”

He smiled. “That was certainly not what I would have expected. Why the stick?”

“It’s my magic wand, I’ll have you know,” she cradled it to her chest as if it were her baby. “16 and a quarter inches long, some kind of tree, brittle.”

He looked amused. “And if you tried it without your magic wand?”

She pursed her lips again, gently put her wand down in front of her, raised her hand, and called, “Lumos!”

Her hand lit up like a beacon and she screamed a little before laughing, willing it to fade. “If only I knew the healing spells. I think I know episky? But was it only for broken noses? I don’t know.”

“There will be many broken noses in the future, that’s not nothing. Do you need the words, do you think? That is not a common component in spellcasting here.”

She looked thoughtful. She looked down at her wand and focused. Nothing happened for a bit, but then smoke started to rise. She glared down at it and sighed. “I feel like I’ve run a mile. With my pack on. They learn the words first, but eventually learn to do spells without the words. I think it’s a focus thing.”

He nodded. “Your endurance will build. This was a good start. Not what I expected, and not how lessons would have started with others. I will think on this and we will do more tomorrow.”

She blew out her stick. “Alright. Thank you, Solas. For everything.”

“You are quite welcome.”

\---

Cremations began the next day. 

The Crossroads didn’t have a Chantry, but Mother Giselle led services. Families made small pyres for their dead, the Inquisition had a group pyre for theirs. Templars and mages were piled together in a group pyre for those who had brought this pain and death.

Incense was added when people had it, though Bianca doubted there would ever been incense sufficient to the task at hand. This tiny community wasn’t ready for so much death.

Solas had helped at the larger pyres, making the fires burn hotter and faster. He talked Bianca through the process as well, grim faced. It was a duty, something she realized she would need to do over and over in this world.

She was grateful no one asked her to speak.

The Inquisition was busy as the smoke filled the sky. Cassandra spoke to the soldiers, organizing groups to search out the main camps of mages and templars. Solas aided the healers. Varric left with a group of hunters to bring back meat for the village.

Bianca spoke to the scouts at the Inquisition camp, being sure they knew to look for herbs for the healers as they explored. She didn’t know what else to do. She walked through the town, watching the people. They all look exhausted, frightened, or eerily blank.

She felt like this was a good moment to do… something. 

She saw an elven man sitting outside of a house, looking distressed. She took a deep breath and headed over to him. 

“I don’t mean to intrude on what is likely a horrible day for you, but,” she tried a smile. “I’m with the Inquisition. We’re here to help and so I’m checking in with people about their needs so we can make a plan.”

“Please,” he leaned towards her. “Please help my wife.”

“What does she need?”

“She gets sick when the weather’s foul. Can’t catch her breath. Like cobwebs in her lungs. My son Hyndel makes a potion that lets her breathe. He’s the only one that can make it, but he’s joined that cult in the hills.”

She frowned. “And he didn’t leave any behind, or instructions?”

“No,” he shook his head. “Please. Get to him and tell him what’s wrong, without that potion, she’ll die.”

“We’ve got scouts heading that way, I will let them know right away,” she nodded. “We also have a mage who has some healing magic, would you allow him to check on her?”

“Yes, anything. Thank you,” he closed his eyes, sagging.

“I’ll bring him soon, lemme go catch the scouts,” she nodded at him and hurried away. The scouts had been planning to leave shortly, so she hoped she caught them in time. 

She ran into them as she headed up the hill for the Inquisition camp. “Hey! Glad I caught you!”

They saluted and a young elven woman spoke. “Yes, Herald?”

“There’s a man in town, elven,” she paused. “I think the only local elven person I’ve seen, so that makes it easy. Anyway, his wife is having an issue with her lungs. Their son knows how to make a potion for it, but he left for the cult in the hills without leaving them any potion or instructions on how to make it.”

“We’re heading that way, we will find him,” she nodded, frowning.

“His name is Hyndel. We planned to follow you in a few days, after you’d scouted and soldiers had stabilized, but be sure to send word if we’re needed sooner to get him to come. That’s a bad death, and I’ve seen enough death.”

They all looked up at the sky, still full of smoke from the pyres and then met each other’s eyes. “Yes, Herald.”

“Please, be careful out there. I'm sorry, what are your names? I’m Bianca.”

“I’m Marta. This is Ritts and Henry,” Marta said, slightly awkwardly.

“Good to meet you. Thank you for what you’re doing,” Bianca smiled.

They saluted and headed off.

She got caught up in her head, making plans, figuring out what needed to happen next.

Realizing she needed to start tracking things, Bianca went to the Inquisition camp. She requested something to write with, and received a roll of parchment, a quil, and a bottle of ink. 

She went into her tent, set the parchment and ink aside, and pulled out her phone. In the notes program, she began to outline what she knew about this area, who was doing what task, and things that needed to be looked into next. She listed the names of the people she’d met, and anything she remembered about them. She also made a rough map of the area, color coding for easy reference.

She wished for her laptop, but this was certainly easier than figuring out how to use a damned quil. She’d ask Varric for writing lessons when he came back.

Still restless, she began to do the same thing for Haven. Nothing in this world made sense, but if she could organize her thoughts, that was _something_.

\---

Solas was the one who came to her first.

“Herald?”

“Maude?”

He paused and then bowed his way into his tent. “People worried, they didn’t know where you’d gone.”

“Oh,” she blinked, setting aside her phone. “I talked to a guy, his wife is sick. Shit! Can you come with me? I was supposed to get you, but I got sidetracked. How long has it been?”

“I am unsure, I do not believe it’s been long enough to be a concern,” he said, following her out of the tent.

“Good,” she hurried back down towards the town. “This guy’s wife is having trouble breathing - says it comes with bad weather and feels like cobwebs. This smoke can't be helping. His son knows a potion that helps, but he fucked off to that cult in the hills without leaving any, or any instructions to make more. I left town to catch the scouts so they could let him know.”

“I see,” Solas nodded, keeping pace with her without breaking his usual graceful stride.

“I was hoping you could help.”

“I will try, of course.”

It didn’t long to get to the house. The man wasn’t outside, so she knocked. 

A voice inside called, "A moment!"

Bianca fidgeted nervously, Solas watching her from the corner of his eye. “Breathe, Bianca.”

She huffed a laugh and shook her arms out quickly, standing up tall, and raising her chin.

The door opened. “Oh, you came! Please, anything you can do-”

He gestured them in, hurrying to his wife’s bed, sitting next to her. The cottage was small, but clean and neatly kept. Solas followed Bianca to the bed.

“This is my friend Solas. I’m hoping he can help. I found the scouts in time, they’re going to tell Hyndel she’s unwell.”

"Thank you," the man breathed, closing his eyes in relief.

When they left the cottage less than 20 minutes later, the woman was breathing easier. Solas warned that it was temporary, and the potion was something they should always have on hand.

The man was tearful in his thanks, and Bianca left feeling satisfied. She had helped. Not directly, but by supplying the answer to a need. That wasn’t nothing.

“Solas,” she spoke into the comfortable silence as they walked back to camp.

“Yes?”

“Please, teach me how to heal with magic. What you did in there was… it was everything. In this deathscape, you _helped_. I want to be able to do that.”

“Of course,” he smiled at her, a gentle smile that settled a warmth in her chest. “It would be my pleasure.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, I will continue with terrible jokes like the Harold and Maude because I need it to stay sane and so does Bianca
> 
> I haven't been able to actually play this game in years and I would like to while writing this story. I got through the beginning on a funky set up months ago when I started it, but everything got too laggy to go further.  
> I was able to get a used copy for my PS3 this week, and played the opening bit again.... And then my controllers died and won't recharge. 😅 IT'S GOING GREAT.


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They head out to close a rift and things do not go as planned.  
> Bianca is still Not Having A Good Time.  
> (Edit: changed a thing after realizing I had misremembered the area, not a big deal, no rereading needed)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This lockdown has got me stressed enough that I've headed into a new fandom (one that is not a world always on the brink of ending). Got really scared that I wouldn't be able to come back to Thedas, but!! I can. Just a lot slower.
> 
> Hopefully this pleases!

Corporal Vale was leading the Inquisition's efforts in the Crossroads. He’d set up a training area and was training locals in defence, and trying his best to organize the area. Cassandra had spoken with him at length, but Bianca was instructed to meet with him as well. She took Solas with her for support. 

He mentioned several people who had ideas that might help - a Recruit Whittle was concerned with supplies, a hunter was concerned about food - but he didn’t have time to take the next step in addressing those concerns. 

The hunter had likely joined the group of hunters Bianca had already suggested, so she skipped over that, but if Whittle had ideas about getting supplies, she would very much like to hear them. Cassandra had only said there were caches. Unfortunately, it really was just him deciding that mages had caches around and the Inquisition should find them and take them.

She had hoped for more, honestly, but did her best to be polite.

As she and Solas walked out of range of Whittle’s hearing she muttered, “How likely is it that mages would have caches in the area with enough to be useful? They’re literally on the run, and it’s not like they would have started out with full packs as they fled the Circles.”

“Yes,” Solas nodded. “It seems unlikely. I’m uncertain who would be setting up the caches, and who would be able to communicate to those who need them how they were to be found.”

“How about we just say that people should bring any supplies they find that aren’t being used? Caches from whoever, supplies from any camps of assholes we Inquisit?”

“That would be reasonable. I would specify that we do not take from homes or noncombatants. It seems obvious to us here, but it is best to be detailed to avoid… unpleasantness.”

Bianca grimaced. “Yeah, you’re right. Thank you. Definitions and morals get pretty iffy when you’re desperate. We should talk to Varric and Cassandra about it, to be sure on what we’re really saying, and then have Cassandra tell people. She’s scary, they’ll listen to her.”

Solas’ eyes crinkled with amusement. “She is indeed.”

\---

The hunters had brought back plenty of meat, and there were several large pots of soup cooking. The food was interesting, not at all what Bianca was used to at home. A mix of meat and cooked grains.

It was filling, though, and that’s what counted.

After she ate, Solas pulled her aside.

“We should train. As much as we wish to keep you safe, we will undoubtedly find ourselves in situations where you will need to protect yourself.”

“Right,” she looked down. “You’re right.”

“Would you like to work with your polearm or magic?”

“Porque no los dos?” she smiled. “Don’t mages generally use polearms?”

“Actually, the Southern Circles rarely teach their mages how to use their staff as a weapon.”

Bianca rolled her eyes. “Well, of course they don’t. Fuck those people anyway. That’s why you’re training me, you’re sensible.”

Solas smiled. “I like to think so. Today, why don’t you think of the ways you would use your magic as you fight. I will use a barrier that should be able to block whatever you come up with. Bring the staff Harrit made you. If we’re to use more magic, you’ll need the focus.”

Her staff, which she’d honestly barely used as more than a walking stick. It had a blade at the end, and sparring was done without bare blades. It was surprisingly plain, she expected a magical staff to have more flair.

Still, they carefully wrapped the blade to make it safer.

They began warming up with stretches and moving through the stances Solas had shown her the first day. 

“The advantage of polearms over swords is reach,” Solas said as they began to spar. “You want to keep attackers out of your space.”

Bianca moved back, unable to dodge the strike to her arm, but able to miss most of it. “Yes, please keep them out of stabbing range.”

“You have seen me fight, but I am curious to see what you come up with.”

She kept her staff in front of her, keeping him away, able to keep him away, but not get inside his guard. “I always thought fighting would be flashier. Movies add in dramatic flips and jumps.”

Solas scoffed, sending a quick flash of ice at her, which she completely failed to dodge. She narrowed her eyes at him. 

“Accio!” she held up the hand, caught his staff as it flew towards her, and while he was distracted, whacked him on the head with hers.

Solas blinked and then smiled. “That is a good one. How would it work with a sword?”

“Shit,” Bianca laughed. “We should find that out, because making a sword fly at me could really backfire.

Solas retrieved a sword and a shield, offering her the shield with a smirk. “Just to be cautious. We should teach you to cast your own shield next.”

Bianca nodded and raised her shield, awkwardly holding her staff in the same hand to keep a hand free for catching the sword. Solas moved into a ready position with the sword.

“Accio!” Bianca tried, and then immediately ducked behind the shield as her nerves got the better of her. She peaked out bashfully at Solas after she heard the sword smack against the shield.

He just looked at her with his lips pursed before retrieving the sword and getting back in position. “Again.”

She focused heavily on the sword’s grip, visualizing it flying _carefully_ into her own hand. If she fucked this up… well, she wanted to learn healing, didn’t she? But she wouldn’t fuck it up. She had this. Willpower. 

She held her hand out, palm open. “Accio!”

She ended up ducking behind the shield again.

“It is good to know that your reflexes are so quick,” Solas smiled, picking up the sword again. “Again.”

30 minutes later, with a very bruised palm, a sore butt from flailing backwards and an embarrassing red spot on her forehead from when she flailed and let go of her staff, hitting herself in the face, she took a deep breath and focused. 

“Accio!”

The sword lept from Solas’ hand to her own, hitting hard enough that she winced. She grinned and raised the sword over her head dramatically. “I have the Powerrrrr!”

She was He-man, there was no doubt.

Solas smiled. “You do indeed.”

\---

He was dead.

He was dead he was dead he was dead.

She’d killed someone.

She covered her mouth with shaking hands, scrambling back away from him in horror, watching the blood pool around him.

“You mother fucking ASSHOLE!” she suddenly screamed, leaping up and kicking the dead man. “You tried to kill me! What the fuck is _wrong with you people_?!”

She fell to her knees beside him, looking to his _dead dead dead_ eyes. “You can’t just… You can’t just _kill people_. I’m trying to _save you_. _Why_...”

Solas rushed to her side, having heard the screaming and stopped several feet away from her as she wept on the belly of a dead man.

“Herald!” Cassandra ran up behind him, sword out. “What-”

“I’m not your _FUCKING_ Herald! My name is Bianca! I’m 30 years old and I’m supposed to make men want to get their dicks wet, not _kill people_!” Bianca hissed raggedly. A bruise was starting to show on her cheek.

“Bianca,” Solas tried carefully, kneeling near her, close enough to touch, but not reaching. “Are you injured?”

Her “no” came out a piteous wail and she threw herself onto Solas, weeping.

Cassandra and Varric stood nearby, watching with wide eyes.

This was supposed to be a quick trip to close a rift, but a scout had met them on the way, warning of a suspiciously well armed bandit group in the area. They had tried to avoid them, but they hadn’t managed it, and Bianca had been attacked in the back while everyone was too distracted fighting to be able to help.

Varric was inspecting the corpse, curious how she’d managed to kill him - the rest of the bandits had been well trained, she shouldn’t have had much of a chance against him. Cassandra joined him.

His armor had been cut clean through, deep cuts in his chest showing clearly through the rents, but Bianca’s staff blade was blood free.

They looked at each other in confusion, looking around for another weapon.

“Bianca,” Solas said again, gently, rubbing her back. “What happened?”

“That mother fucking…” she drew a breath and leaned back, looking back at the man. “He… he came at me. I… I kept him back, like you showed me, but he started _playing_ with me. He thought killing me was a game. He- he said he might keep me alive for awhile, spend some…” she shook her head. She looked back up at Solas, face stark and afraid. “So I- I- Sectumsempra. For enemies.”

“A spell?” Cassandra demanded.

“Yeah, it…” she gestured at him. “Cuts.”

“Cuts,” Solas said, flatly.

She shrugged and took a deep breath, before standing up and offering a hand to Solas. “You guys okay?”

“We are,” Varric said, eyeing her. “Are you?”

“No,” she grimaced. “But since when is that news. Rift?”

“Yes,” Cassandra nodded, and led the way back to the path they were following.

Solas kept pace with Bianca, and Varric took up the rear.

“You did well.”

She snorted. “Yippee.”

“Indeed.”

“You kill some people, too?” she glanced at him out of the corner of her eyes.

“I did. We all did. We all have before, we all will again. This was your first, but it will not be your last, not in times such as these.”

“I hate this place. I hate being here.”

“I know. I am sorry,” he caught her hand, brought her up so he could look into her face. “I wish that I could take this burden from you.”

She hugged him. “I would let you, if I could. Does that make me terrible?”

“No,” he said quietly. 

Varric paused when he caught up with them and they broke apart, hurrying to catch up with Cassandra.

“According to my research, the ancient elves may have set up wards around here. If we can find the artifacts, it may help ward against tears.”

Bianca glanced at him. “That would be handy.”

Up ahead they heard Cassandra call, “Demons!”

There weren’t many, and they were quickly dispatched while Bianca held back, watching carefully. She was curious about the woman who had been fighting the demons before they arrived.

“Peace. I am no danger to you. My name is Mirhis,” the woman turned to speak to them. “By your weapons I see you come ready for battle. Perhaps we face a common enemy in these demons.”

“A reasonable conclusion, since we helped you kill them,” Varric smiled.

“Are you okay? Why are you fighting demons alone?” Bianca asked, coming into conversational range.

“Fighting the demons is pointless. There will always be more, and I have no means of closing the rifts,” she shrugged. “But I have heard of elvhen artifacts that measure the Veil. They may tell us where new rifts will appear.”

Bianca blinked and glanced at Solas, whose face was set in careful interest.

“I was not expecting so many demons, however. I believe one of the artifacts is nearby. Can you help me reach it?”

“Yeah,” Bianca said. “We can do that.”

“Thank you. It shouldn’t be too much farther ahead.”

They moved up broken stairs, under the remnants of an arch.

“Thank you for helping me,” Mirhis commented. “I do not think I could do this on my own.”

“Yeah, I can’t imagine being out here on my own at all,” Bianca said, looking at the woman. “I mean, I can see you can fight, but we’ve just been through a fight with very well armed bandits, and now this, and there’s a rift nearby. Being alone is a good way to join ranks of all the dead people laying around everywhere we go.”

“I was - am - first of Clan Virnehn. I left in service of my clan and saw that great tear in the Veil on my journey. I know more of magic and the Veil than any shemlen, so I hoped to help.”

“Ma harel, da’len,” commented Solas, in a voice that told Bianca he wasn’t saying something polite.

“I-we should keep moving,” Mirhis said, turning and quickly walking towards the ruins.

The door was blocked, pillars having fallen in front of them.

“We’ll need focused magical energy to get by,” Mirhis said, startling Bianca who had just been pondering the best way to wedge the columns away without damaging the ruins further.

“You. Flat ear. Can you manage it?”

“Flat ear?” Bianca looked at Solas, questioning.

“A derogatory term for a non-dalish elf.”

She looked at Mirhis, appalled. “What the fuck is wrong with you? Jesus fucking-” she took a deep breath before deferring. “Solas?”

Solas nodded to her before turning to Mirhis and saying calmly, “Ma nuvenin, da’len.”

Then he moved in front of them, lighting up with magic and, gesturing with his arms, he moved the columns back, so they framed the door properly again.

Bianca blinked at him, impressed, and then eyed Mirhis, wanting to say something nasty about people calling names, but since she had no idea of the language or meaning or the words Solas had used towards Mirhis, she held back.

There were more demons inside, quickly dispatched, though one got a blast through to hit Bianca in the arm.

She stomped her way into the room when everything was dead, inspecting the statues. “Well. Creepy. Okay. The statues in this area are all very…. Very, aren’t they?”

“They sure are,” commented Varric, looking around. “Kirkwall has its own brand of terrible, but these certainly tell a story.”

“They do,” Cassandra said. “These were not made by the same people who did the ones outside, however.”

“And the piles of skulls really make the art pop,” Bianca peered through the door that led deeper into the temple. “Got a light?”

Solas smiled, his hands lighting up with magic as he moved to light a torch on the wall. The torch burned blue.

“What manner of fire is this?” Cassandra asked, moving closer.

“I have heard of this, but never seen it before,” Solas commented. “It is called Veil fire. It is a form of sympathetic magic, a memory of flame that burns in this world where the Veil is thin.”

“You, ah,” Bianca gestured. “Lit that fire. But you’ve never seen it before?”

“Things are strange where the Veil is thin,” remarked Mhiris. 

Bianca picked up the torch and headed to the stairs.

“So, we’re taking the magical fire with us?” grumbled Varric.

“Fuck yeah we are,” Bianca grinned. “Everywhere forever. It’s magical fire, Varric.”

Varric shook his head and headed down the stairs.

It was a large open room, with roots hanging through a hole in the ceiling.

There were, of course, more demons, and Bianca stayed exploring the walls while the others dealt with them.

She lit a torch on the wall with her Veil fire, only to have the torch light up with normal fire. She blinked at it. “Huh. That’s… weird.” She poked at her Veil fire, noticing it gave off no heat. “But it can make real fire. How the fuck does that work?”

She heard the others talking about receiving something, so she joined them again. 

“There are so many skulls here.” She inspected a pile of large skulls in an urn. “Of so many sizes. Really made sure to get a diverse set to decorate. Very thorough. Why?”

“Only the makers would know,” murmured Solas, inspecting an interesting looking device on the floor. “Come, let me show you how to activate it.”

He taught her how to feed energy into it, and it lit up.

“Awesome! I feel that!” Bianca grinned up at Solas.

“Well done. That will help.”

Bianca wandered off again, poking through corners until she noticed a shimmer on a broken piece of something, reflecting the Veil fire.

“Whoa! Whoa lookit!” She looked back and everyone was busy, except- ‘Varric! Lookit!”

“Oh, look at that. Solas, Seeker, you’ll want to see this.”

“A weapon enchantment. That will be quite useful,” said Cassandra, joining them.

“Indeed,” Solas commented.

Bianca blinked at them. “You guys are so blasé about the coolest things. Magical ink that only shows with magical fire, and it’s just ‘that will be useful.’ Ugh.”

“You are correct,” Solas commented, inspecting the writing. “I suppose we take these things for granted.”

As they started to leave, Mirhis’ voice came from behind them. “Well, that should be useful. And it seems the ancestors left something for me as well. Interesting.”

She came towards them. “I believe our alliance is concluded. Go in peace, stranger.”

Bianca frowned at her, not liking her after she was so rude to Solas.

“Ma halani, ma glandival. Vir enasalin,” Said Solas in a very casual tone. Bianca eyed him.

“I-” Mirhis ducked her head. “Perhaps you are right. Here. Take it. Go with Mythal’s Blessing.”

She handed a necklace to Solas, and they all left the temple. Mirhis nodded to them again when they were outside, and then headed off on her own.

Biana watched her go. “Huh. I would normally ask her to join us, especially since she wanted to help. But she was a bitch to Solas, so no thanks.”

Solas was amused. “Defending me from impolite elves, da’len?”

“Yes,” she grumbled. “You’re my emotional support elf and how dare she think she’s better than you, because of where she was born.”

“That is the way of people everywhere, I’m afraid. Is it not so where you’re from?”

“Of course it fucking is, that’s why it pisses me off so much. She doesn’t know you. She doesn’t know your intelligence, your gentleness, the way you help without being asked, at great personal risk. You put yourself at the mercy of a royally pissed off Cassandra after the explosion of the conclave, a move that was almost certain to be fatal. I won’t have people looking down at you. Not anyone.”

The look he gave her was warm. Tender and surprised. “Thank you.”

Varric smirked. “You guys need a little time alone for this conversation, or…?”

“Naw, I’ll just suck him off in gratitude with you watching, love!” she pointed behind them. “But after we deal with the rift, hm?”

Cassandra made a disgusted noise, Varric a delighted one, and Solas just hummed.

She laughed and kissed his shoulder before heading off.

There was a noise and something hit her shoulder. 

She staggered and fell to her knees, hand going up to hold her shoulder.

A light shimmered around her as Solas put a shield around her and she felt...

She felt a stick.

In her arm.

She laughed a little, how silly. A stick…

She blinked and her mind went blank with anger. She leaped up, raising her staff in her left hand, slamming into the ground, screaming, “Accio!”

The bandits all around them called out in alarm as all of their weapons leaped from their hands, landing at Bianca’s feet as she screamed and cursed them out.

Solas, Cassandra, and Varric hastily took advantage of the distraction and disarmament to dispatch the bandits.

When they were finished, they looked to Bianca just in time for her to pass out and fall gracelessly to the ground.

\---

She came to on a pallet with Varric cleaning Bianca near her.

Her arm hurt like a - “Son of a _bitch._ Is this day fucking over yet? I’m fucking done with it. Did you kill that mother fucker? Fucking- he _shot_ me! With an arrow! Fucking ow! I hate him and always have.”

Varric chuckled. “Yeah, they’re all gone. How you feeling?”

“Vindicated,” she said firmly, poking at her shoulder.

“Oh yeah?”

“I fucking _told_ them it was fucking stupid to send me out here. And look! Shot! Fucking _fuck_ , I _said_ I’m a noncombatant. And here we are, walking out here and I’ve had to kill someone and I’ve gotten shot. This is just…”

She flopped back and stared listlessly at the sky.

“Yeah,” Varric said, sadly. “You’ve had a shitty day.”

“I’m a spoiled fucking princess. Everyone here has had it worse. Everyone here has had to deal with this forever and here I am acting like I’m too good to help.”

“Naw,” he reached out and took her hand, carefully. “You’re new here. This shouldn’t even be your fight. I won’t lie, Thedas is rough, and you’re obviously from somewhere very different. Hating being thrown into this doesn’t make you bad.”

She sighed, closing her eyes, and held his hand. “Distract me?”

“Sure,” he shrugged. “What do you need?”

She smiled, keeping her eyes closed. “We could fuck.”

He laughed. “Or?”

“Or we can cuddle and I can pet your chest hair while you tell me about Hawke again?”

“I don’t know if we’d find a good way to do that with your shoulder.”

“We could...” she thought. “I want skin to help anchor me, and a story to distract me.”

“Hm,” he started to move and then paused. “Solas! She’s awake.”

Solas kneeled beside her, touching her forehead, her cheek. “How are you feeling?”

“Aim a bit lower and I’ll feel a lot better,” she smirked.

“Ah,” he smiled, she could hear it in his voice. She peaked up at him with a grin.

“Varric was about to distract me from my horrible day with stories of Hawke. Wanna make out while he talks?”

“Make out?” he began to unwrap her shoulder gently.

She winced and tried to distract herself by watching his face. “You don’t have that term? Hm. Heavy petting?”

He raised his eyebrow. “I am not a dog.”

“Ha! No, like… what do you call it when you’re really hot and heavy kissing and groping?”

“Hot and heavy?” he smiled. “An interesting term. Hm. I am uncertain. I would use an elvhen term, which would not be any more use than yours to the general population.”

They both looked at Varric.

“Caboodling?”

Bianca shook with laughter, trying to hold still to not hurt her arm. “Seriously? That’s amazing!”

Varric looked amused, and went back to tending his crossbow.

“Solas,” Bianca purred with a grin. “Wanna caboodle to distract me from my terrible day?”

“Tempting,” he murmured, pulling back the last layer and inspecting her injury. “Or we can have a lesson on healing magic?”

“Oh, fuck yeah!” she shifted to give him better access, laying on her side. “Show me your ways, Professor!”

Another laugh from Varric, who was carefully not watching them when she glanced at him.

“Now it’s very important, Solas, that you be thinking very sexy thoughts about me right now,” she sighed dramatically. “We’re falling in love, in the midst of a war, though we both try hard to not. We simply can’t help it, we’re drawn to each other.”

“But our backgrounds are so different, so many obstacles in our paths, can our love survive?” He murmured, his eyes amused. “Focus on what you feel me doing.”

His hand lit up green and she felt a pulling in her wound, a pinching and a warmth. She watched the wound slowly close, leaving a neat pink line.

She reached up and touched his face. “Our love can surpass all odds because it is based on respect, desperation, and your unbelievably fantastic ass.”

He laughed and moved back. “I am going to check our meal. Try not to write Varric’s entire book for him while I’m gone.”

She watched him go with a smile.

“You two are something else,” Varric commented, amused. “Feeling better?”

“Yes!” she sat up. “You wouldn’t expect him to go along with my bullshit, he’s so… proper. He can’t seem to help himself, though. It’s good. It helps.”

“I’m glad,” he smiled. “I look forward to the chapter where you see Scout Harding again and you remember what mind scrambling lust feels like.”

“You’re the worst,” Bianca grumbled, red faced. “The absolute worst.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bit more trauma and then some down time. You gotta have down time.

“You are very forward,” Cassandra commented.

They had set up in the bandit’s camp after Bianca was injured. It was nice, in that it was nearly in a cave, all the sides were stone, though it was open over head. It felt protected, but not like she was closed in.

Solas and Varric were speaking quietly with each other at the other end of the area.

“What?” Bianca frowned, busy trying to smooth out a snaggled edge of her nail that was driving her crazy.

“With Solas and Varric.”

“Oh,” Biaca laughed. “I’m not serious.”

Cassandra raised an eyebrow, settling down on the ground to start cleaning her sword.

“Not that I wouldn’t…” She paused. “It’s a bit of normal. From home. That’s the type of humor me and my friends enjoyed. Dirty jokes, harmless propositioning. It’s my way of having something here that’s familiar. They know I don’t mean it.”

“Do they?”

“There’s usually a…” she fidgeted. “I mean, I just met them. Solas knows I don’t mean it, we talked about it in Haven. And Varric doesn’t take much seriously at all. So yeah, they know I don’t mean it. Hawke and Isabella said worse, in his stories. Is it bad?”

“No,” Cassandra frowned. “It is just… you are the Herald of Andraste…”

“Ah,” Bianca winked. “And Andraste didn’t proposition handsome men to let off steam?”

“No, she did not,” Cassandra looked up. “At least, I do not think so.”

“That kind of shit gets smoothed out as they erase your humanity. Even with a woman god, apparently we have to be obsessed with female virginity. It’s ridiculous. I’m separated from my world and all that I knew. I’ve been thrown into a war while reality is being torn apart. If I want to take time out of saving the world to bang Solas, Varric, and possibly that lady at the tavern, what’s the harm?”

“Bang?” Solas’s voice came from the door. “Another fascinating idiom.”

She grinned. “Yeah! I want to bang you like a loose door in a hurricane!”

She heard Varric laughing behind Solas as Solas shook his head with a smile. “An evocative image.”

“Indeed.”

Solas leaned on his staff, amused. “And you were discussing this with Cassandra why?”

“She was concerned about my coping mechanisms. I told her that you guys knew I didn’t mean it.”

“I’m heartbroken,” Varric made a dramatic sad face. “I thought we really had something special.”

“My love for you is pure as new snow, Master Tethras,” Bianca fluttered her lashes. “I need only be in your presence, listening to the melody of your voice, to be satisfied. I could never sully it by fucking you in a tent while Cassandra pretends she can’t hear us.”

Solas snorted a laugh.

Cassandra made a disgusted noise.

“So,” Bianca got up and started stretching. “Rift and then back to camp?”

“Sounds good to me,” Varric agreed.

They headed through a passageway that way closed on top, and came out looking into a beautiful valley.

“Oh, I am absolutely about to go swimming in that-”

“Dragon!” Cassandra announced, pulling out her shield and pushing Bianca back.

Bianca looked wildly around in time to see an enormous yellow-

“What the FUCK?”

A fireball was launched in their direction and they all scrambled back, through the covered area and into their camp.

“Is it going to follow us? What- What do we do?” Bianca looked to Cassandra desperately. Cassandra held up her hand for quiet.

They waited. 

Nothing happened.

“I believe it is defending its territory, and will not bother us as long as we stay away,” said Cassandra.

“I can do that! Let’s do that. We should be getting back to town. Tell Vale there’s a dragon.”

“We should set up an Inquisition camp here,” Cassandra continued. “It is a good location. We can monitor the area in case the bandits return, and keep an eye on the dragon until it can be dealt with.”

“Dealt with?”

“It’s a dragon, Bianca,” Varric said, looking more serious than usual. “There’s no way it isn’t going to bring death and destruction.”

Bianca looked at all of them, face desperate, scared. “Okay. Dragons. Okay. Let’s go back now, okay? I’ve had enough of everything today.”

“Yes, Herald,” Cassandra nodded, leading the way out of the camp.

Bianca stubbed her toes repeatedly on the way back to the Crossroads, spending too much time desperately searching the sky for a dragon to watch where she was going.

\---

Yoga helped.

She focused on her body. That was something she could control. Breathing through the movements, feeling herself settle back into her body.

She had found a barn, partially burned and empty, a perfect place to be by herself with room to move after she’d cleared an area on the floor.

One last breath and she carefully moved out of her headstand.

It wasn’t enough. 

She missed her pole.

Glancing around, she saw a rope hanging from one of the rafters, and squinted thoughtfully, moving to inspect it. It was a good thickness, it looked well made. A rougher texture than she’d prefer.

A firm yank brought down plenty of dirt, but the rope didn’t fall.

She moved to get her water bottle and drank, eyeing the rope thoughtfully. She was dressed appropriately enough, in leggings and a sports bra. With the scratchiness of the rope, though… She decided to put on her long sleeved t-shirt again.

She began by knotting the bottom of the rope several times, giving herself something to stand on. Then a basic climb up to the rafter, to be sure the rope was strong enough.

It seemed to be. 

Back down again until she was about 6 ft off the ground, she spread her arms wide, before carefully taking her legs out perpendicular to her arms.

Yes.

This.

Slowly, she learned how to move her body on the rope, wishing she had music, but losing herself in the movements even without it.

One last flip on the rope, and she headed back to her water, finishing the bottle. She jolted as she noticed Solas in the barn, leaning against the wall, watching her.

"Is that similar to how you danced on the pole?”

“Yeah,” she nodded, pulling up her shirt to wipe the sweat off her face. “Though the pole had fewer splinters and held still, obviously.”

“I would imagine,” he moved to inspect the rope. “I had visualized something different. When you dismiss it as merely stripping, you leave out the grace, strength, and beauty.”

She laughed and bowed. “I thought those would be evident if I was involved.”

His eyes smiled at her. “Indeed.”

“Hey, can you help me with my hands? That rope was less merciful than I’d hoped. Must be a Thedan rope.”

He held her eyes, looking sad, before nodding. He walked to her, taking her hands in his. They were raw looking, with rope splinters. He could see blisters forming.

“We will want to remove the fibers before healing.”

“Ah, right,” she took her hands from his and moved to pull her over-clothes and shoes back on, and pick up her bottle. “I’ve got some good tweezers in my bag.”

They walked together back to her tent, not bothering to speak. 

She headed into the tent with no hesitation. He paused, glancing around to note how many people were watching him follow her in.

Several.

He nodded to a frowning Cassandra before entering the tent.

\---

She was taking off her clothes.

He blinked.

She didn’t notice. She absently stripped off her boots, jacked, armor pants, undershirt, leaving her in tightly fitting pants and a chest covering. She started digging in her bag, pulling out some… he supposed they were more under clothes, there wasn’t much fabric.

She wetted down a cotton cloth with water from her bottle before wiping herself down. She’d built up quite a sweat in the barn. She turned her back to him, stripping off her chest covering, wiped down her chest with the cloth and then pulled on a small shirt with no sleeves that was very tight.

“Close your eyes if you’re shy,” was all the warning he got before she’d stripped off her pants and was bare from the waist down in front of him, calmly pulling on short pants.

He did not close his eyes.

She heaped the dirty clothes in a pile, and then pulled out a small bag from her pack, digging through it to find tweezers.

She sat on her bed and started pulling rope fibers from her hands.

He moved then, sitting in front of her and holding out his hand. “I can do that, if you like.”

She handed him the tweezers. He cast a spell that brought a bright glowing orb above their heads, and began carefully cleaning her hands.

“I believe Thedas culture is far more modest than your own,” he commented.

She laughed. “Probably. Sorry if you were offended, I just felt gross.”

“I was not.”

“I’m not sure how old you are, but if you’re someone who heals, I figure you’re not squeamish about bodies.”

He glanced up at her, his mouth ticked up on one side. “No, squeamishness was not an issue.”

“Now,” she grinned around a wince as he pulled a fiber from a tender spot. “If you happened to become overwhelmed by lust-”

“That was also not an issue,” he pulled her hands closer to the light and pulled out a few more fibers. “You are correct that I understand context in regards to nudity.”

He rubbed his hands over her palms gently, checking by feel for any missed fibers, before his hands lit up green and her pain faded away.

“Hey, Solas?”

He looked up at her.

“Can I kiss you?”

“For what purpose?”

She grinned. “I don’t know. Comfort? I’m just... really freaked out. And the exercise was extremely useful but I don’t feel safe. Because I’m not safe. And I don’t know, something something people protect people they connect with, sex is connecting, I need to feel alive.”

He reached out and touched her cheek, looking serious. “I will protect you. You need not offer yourself to me for protection.”

Tears welled up in her eyes and her throat closed, so she couldn’t speak.

“You have had a very hard day.”

She nodded, wiping her tears with her palms.

“I am sorry.” He put out the light spell, making it seem much darker all of a sudden. “You have many people who will do everything they can to keep you safe.”

“Because I’m their only hope. Yes. But I got shot today, Solas” her voice cracked. “I could easily have been shot in a place that killed me. And there is a dragon out there, Solas. It could have easily roasted me today. People are trying, but that doesn’t guarantee anything.”

“No,” he spoke quietly. “It does not. And seeking comfort in another person’s body is a common ‘coping mechanism,’ as you call it. I am afraid, however, that doing so with me is more complicated than you would hope. For many reasons, the most obvious is how many people are currently listening intently outside your tent right now.”

A wet laugh answered. “Jesus fuck, these people. How’s a girl supposed to get laid when everyone is either traumatized, or worshipful, or apparently too complicated?”

She could hear his smile when he said, “It is more difficult than people like to think. More so for a woman, though that is hardly fair.”

She sighed. ”Thank you for helping me with my hands.”

“Of course. I will continue to teach you so that hopefully soon you can do it yourself.”

“I would like that.”

They were quiet.

“It’s really beautiful here. The landscape. I have moments where I can ignore the constant horrified terror, and I look around and… it’s amazing. I wish that I could be here under different circumstances.”

He didn’t answer and they were quiet again.

“I wish someone could stay in here at night. So I’m not alone.”

“Cassandra-”

“Honestly, of the three of you, I would fuck Cassandra the fastest. People thinking my virtue is someone more intact because I’m sleeping with someone I swear was designed as a lesbian wet dream… I can’t even. Like, sure, she can’t knock me up, but I’d really enjoy her trying.”

Solas laughed, and it was loud and rich. “Can you imagine her face if you said such a thing to her?”

“NO!” Bianca sat up, alarmed. “She’d absolutely kill me. Run me through with her sword in all the wrong ways, but it would still be really hot. Don’t you _dare_ tell her! Stop laughing at me!”

She whacked him with her pillow, knocking him over as he lost himself in his laughter. 

He stayed laying down, still randomly chuckling. “I feel that I should be offended, but she is a woman of uncommon ferocity. I cannot argue your choice.”

She flopped down next to him. “You didn’t say no.”

He turned his head towards her. It was dim in the tent, the sun was nearly down, but she could see that his eyes still smiled. “I did not say no.”

She reached her hand out, carefully, and traced his face with her fingertips. He closed his eyes. She moved then and kissed him gently on his forehead.

Both cheeks. 

She traced his bottom lip with her thumb before kissing his mouth gently.

She pulled back to look at his face. He opened his eyes and watched her.

“Thank you.”

He smiled. “I should go.”

“Yeah,” she started to straighten her tent. “Sleep well, Solas.”

As he left, she dug back into her bag, suddenly very grateful to her past self for packing a fucking dildo.


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Back to Haven.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm not delighted with this one, but I've started the next, and think it'll be fun!  
> Hope you guys are doing well!

Coming back to Haven was different than she’d expected.

She’d expected it to somehow feel like a refuge from the chaos and terror of the rest of the world. She wasn’t sure why, since it had been a place of chaos and terror when she’d been there before. She pursed her lips thoughtfully as she approached, trying to note any changes since she’d left.

It looked different, probably. It was hard to judge, especially in the dark. They'd pushed through instead of camping again, ready to be done with traveling. 

She’d been so overwhelmed and confused when she was here before. It seemed more normal, now that she was used to being in Thedas; the dress, the architecture, the smell. Several people, elves, ran out to meet them, retrieving their packs and passing on messages. Bianca hoped someone else was listening because she wasn’t able to.

She was exhausted. Physically, mentally, and emotionally. 

When the woman took her pack and turned to go, Bianca reflexively reached out and touched her shoulder to get her attention. The woman jumped back, startling Bianca.

“Oh,” Bianca looked at the woman’s face. She looked frightened. “Oh, shit, I’m so sorry. I shouldn’t have touched you. I just… are you taking that to my room? Can I come with you? I can carry it, I just don’t remember where it is.”

The woman nodded, but then hesitated.

“They asked to see you in the Chantry,” Solas murmured. “She just finished telling you.”

Bianca blinked. “Oh. Again, I am so sorry, ma’am, I am just so fucking tired, I couldn’t register… I…”

Solas looked at the woman holding Bianca’s pack, and gestured to her to pass the pack to him. “I will show her. If you would please tell them that the Herald must rest before she can meet with them?”

The woman nodded and dashed off back to the Chantry.

“I will go meet with them,” Cassandra said, frowning at Bianca. “But we will need you to join us before we can make plans.”

“Why?”

“You are-”

“If you tell me that I’m the Herald of Andraste one more time before I get some sleep, I will sit down and cry until you take it back.”

Varric snorted. “You go get some sleep. We’ll handle things until you’re back to yourself.”

Bianca just nodded and trailed after Solas like a puppy. He led her back to the same cabin she’d been in before. She was right; there was no way she would have found it on her own.

Solas set her pack on the floor, and helped himself to a glass of the wine set out on the table.

There was a large basin of water in front of the fire with a small cake of soap, and Bianca rushed over to it, shedding her outer clothes on the way, until she was in her underwear and tank top.

She twisted her hair into a bun on top of her head, and started scrubbing her neck. “I miss indoor plumbing so much.”

“They do have it in Thedas. Ferelden is a very poor country, however, and you will find it much less often.”

“That’s good to know, thank you.”

She finished up her quick sponge bath, wishing she could soak in a tub for a while. She’d have to hit the baths soon. She searched the trunk in her room for something clean, finding a white cotton nightgown. She changed into it while Solas politely turned his back, and threw herself across the bed, face down.

“That woman was afraid of me,” she muttered into the blankets.

“She was. Humans don’t generally touch elves with positive intent.”

“Fuck,” she rubbed her face against the bed tiredly. “How do I fix it?”

“You cannot. She isn’t wrong to be afraid.”

“Systemic racism. Genocid still in progress. Right. Fuck, I hate that so much,” she looked over at him. “Did you need anything, or did you just want to eat my snacks?”

Solas smirked. “No. I was concerned with your level of exhaustion and wanted to be sure you didn’t climb into bed wearing muddy boots.”

“Ah,” she rolled over and stretched. “That’s legit, I really might have. Fuck eating, though. Too tired.”

He moved to her bed, holding out his hand, and helped her stand again, before turning down her blankets for her.

She kissed the top of his head and crawled into bed. “Thanks, dad. Gonna tell me a bedtime story?”

“Perhaps tomorrow. For now, I need to find my own bed. Goodnight,” He headed towards the door.

“Sleep tight!”

\---

She woke up, feeling the sick disorientation that often followed really deep sleep. She shuffled herself over to the table to pick at the food, hoping to get her blood sugar back up.

When she felt a bit more alive, she dug through her pack, gathering all her dirty clothes into a pile in the middle of the room. 

She curled up on her bed with her phone, pulling up the Hobbit again. She really felt for Bilbo now, going on an adventure and spending most of it fantasizing about breakfast in his own house.

Thedas could wait.

\---

“Having the Herald address the Clerics is not a terrible idea,” Josephine said, looking around at all of them.

“You can’t be serious,” Cullen scoffed. 

“Mother Giselle isn’t wrong. At the moment their only strength is that they’re united.”

“And we should ignore the danger to the Herald?” Leliana inquired.

“Let’s ask her.”

“I don’t want to,” Bianca shook her head. “Heading into another country to address people who want me arrested for heresy? No way.”

Cullen laughed, but tried to hide it with a cough.

“I will go with her,” Cassandra said, coming closer. “Mother Giselle says she can provide us names. Use them.”

“But why?” Leliana shook her head. “This is nothing but a-”

“What choice do we have, Leliana? Right now we can’t approach anyone for help with the Breach. Use what influence we have to bring all the Clerics together. Once they are ready, we will see this through.”

Bianca turned to leave.

“Herald, where are you going?” Josephine asked.

“To the baths. Or maybe the bar. Possibly to the woods. What does it matter?” She sighed. “You demand I come to the meetings, but my input doesn’t matter. If we have no choice, we have no choice. I am exhausted. I don’t want to be here. I don’t have the cultural understanding. Just tell me what I’m supposed to do next, don’t act like I have a choice when I don’t.”

“I’m sorry, we didn’t meant to-”

“I’m not mad. I’m tired. I don’t think you guys can understand what this is like for me. I’m doing my best, and I’m not giving up, but don’t ask my opinion as a formality. You know I don’t know enough to understand the politics. You know I don’t want to fight. You know I’d rather not walk into a situation where I won’t have the skills or understanding to do the right things. Don’t ignore my ignorance. Rectify it,” she stressed, clenching her firsts. “Help. Me. If Cassandra can come, that seems good. She was big in the Chantry, they’ll listen to her, right?”

She looked around at them all. 

“Possibly,” Leliana hedged. "They will look to you, more likely. You are the one that challenges them.”

“Great,” she grimaced. “Thanks so much for that, by the way. It’s been super, being a heretical figurehead to a religion I don’t understand.”

“You are not heretical," Cassandra scoffed. "The Maker sent you in our time of need. How else would you have arrived from another world precisely when we needed you, with the power to close the rifts?”

“I don’t know, a magic mirror?”

“It doesn’t matter. Will you go with me to Val Royeaux?”

“I don't seem to have a choice. We taking Varric and Solas again? More soldiers?”

“You three are very close,” Leliana murmured.

“Yeah, they're sweet,” Bianca winked. “Solas likes to come in my tent at night and pull my hair over his head so he can pretend he’s not bald.”

Cullen choked.

“And Varric’s hot as hell. Who can be sad, even in this hellscape, with a handsome guy like that around?”

Cassandra scoffed. “They will likely come, we will need to ask. We should travel as a small group. We will be watched, and bringing a group of soldiers could be seen as a threat.”

“I do have plenty of my people there already,” Leliana smiled. “You will not be unprotected, even if they do not arrive with you.”

“Okay,” Bianca nodded. “So. Reports say the mage and Templars that have been terrorizing the area have been stopped, we’ve got people building watchtowers for Dennet, the weird cult is helping, and now we’re heading off to Val Royeaux. Anything else?”

“There are several things,” Josephine smiled. “But we can cover those later. This is enough for now.”

“Wonderful. Then, if you need me, I’ll be at the bathhouse.”

\---

The baths at Haven were in a long wooden building that looked very new. There were six large wooden tubs set up for soaking, and areas with buckets and scrub brushes for removing most of your filth beforehand. The scrubbing areas were separated by gender, but the tubs were for everyone, people wrapping up in towels or wearing underclothes for modesty.

Bianca scrubbed herself until her skin was red, and washed her hair three times before she was satisfied. She combed her hair out with a wide toothed comb before piling it on her head, wrapping herself up in a bath sheet, and heading in to soak.

It was quiet at this time, she’d had the scrub room to herself, but the soaking tubs weren’t empty. There was a small group of soldiers in one and she noticed Solas and Varric in another.

They hadn’t noticed her and she hesitated. She didn’t want to force them to be in her company, after having had so much time stuck together on the trip. They might want some time away from her to relax.

It might also be rude to sit somewhere else, like she was snubbing them. She wished suddenly someone had explained bath customs. She'd been here plenty of times, but not when people she knew were also bathing.

She had just decided to hop into a tub by herself when Varric called to her. “You’re welcome in here, if you want. We were just discussing the joys of the Hinterlands.”

She grinned. “Thank you. I especially liked the bears and all the new warm bear furs we got to deliver to the refugees.”

She got into the tub and settled in, everyone shifting so they were equal distances apart.

“Meeting go well?” Varric asked, smirking.

“Oh, yes. Nothing like a meeting when you want a good time,” she said flatly, leaning her head against the back of the tub, looking up at the ceiling. “Much to discuss, lots of opinions to have, plans made. I’m hoping you guys will come with me for this next bit. In Orlais.”

She glanced at the soldiers in the other tub, but they seemed to be focused only on their own conversation. “I don’t want to do it, but apparently it has to be done anyway."

“Ah,” sighed Varric. “Doing as the Mother asked?”

Bianca nodded, miserably.

“Sounds like a good time, Firefly, count me in.”

“Firefly?”

“You do have a tendency to light up," he gestured towards her marked hand.

She grinned. “And you like to watch my ass?”

Solas nodded and said, “And he likes to watch your-”

“Chuckles!” Varric laughed. “How could you?”

“You can't really help it," she smiled. “It's pretty close to eye level, and you're the rear guard, after all."

“Yeah, Chuckles. I'm just doing my job.”

She looked at him fondly and rolled her eyes.

“I will be happy to accompany you as well,” Solas tilted his head. “Though I share your opinion on the task.”

“Have you guys been to Val Royeaux before?”

They both nodded, neither looking enthusiastic.

“Ah,” she frowned. “And you’ll be safe enough there, Solas? I remember what you told me about elves in Orlais.”

“Yes,” he said, nodding. “I believe so. None of us will be completely safe, of course, or we would not have the need to go at all. However, I believe that they will not allow you into that situation without sufficient support and planning, and I flatter myself to think you might also use those resources should I be in need.”

She blinked. “Of course I would. How about,” she looked at Varric, frowning. “Varric, I know about elves, but… are dwarves treated well by humans?”

“Generally. Certainly more so than elves,” he waved a hand at her. “Now, Dwarven politics are messy and complicated, but you don’t need to worry about that. I’ll be fine.”

“Alright,” she nodded, looking thoughtful. She was beginning to feel exhaustion creeping back over her. “Fuck. I want to sleep, but there is so much effort involved in getting back to bed. If I were to dramatically swoon, would one of you drag my ass to bed?”

Solas raised an eyebrow as Varric laughed. “You do seem intent on starting rumors.” He nudged her leg with his toe. “Out. Sleep, but find me in the morning, you still have training.”

“Ugh,” she slid under the water, arms crossed, rubbing her face. She came back up, sitting between the two men. “Fine. Maybe see you for dinner, Varric?”

He agreed. She kissed both their cheeks before clambering out of the tub and back to the women’s section to get dry, dressed, and then haul herself through the snow to her bed.

\---

Despite her hopes, her days in Haven were full. 

She had seemingly endless meetings with Leliana, Josephine, and Cullen about the Inquisition, training with Solas on magic and staff techniques, endurance training with soldiers, cultural lessons with Josephine, reading and writing with Sister Agatha, and riding lessons from a very kind stablehand named Jani, who was 12 and in awe of Bianca (until she realized she was just a normal human, and terrible with horses.)

She managed to get dinner with Varric that first night, but was tired enough the next to eat alone in her room, reading on her phone.

She took a bath every day.

The seamstresses had finished her wardrobe, and she had to do final fittings and alterations on that, but she was very pleased with the result. She even had a dress in case she went somewhere fancy.

She hoped she didn’t have to use it.

\---

She woke up the day they were to leave with her lower belly cramping.

“Oh, fuck you,” she breathed, putting her hand over the pain. “Not right now.”

She had a menstrual cup in her bag, but this wasn’t home with clean bathrooms to wash it up as needed. She’d need to boil it, and did she want to do that in the pan they also cooked with? Or did she want to bring along an extra pan? A dedicated menstrual mug?

And she didn’t really like to use it the whole time, it got uncomfortable.

What did Thedan women use, anyway?

“Ugh.”

She heaved herself out of bed, got ready enough, and slumped out of her cabin in search of a woman to interrogate.

But who?

She realized she didn’t even know where Cassandra might be if she wasn’t hitting dummies with swords or in the meeting room.

She went to Seggrit instead. 

The thing about Thedas is that it was pre-Industrial revolution, so everything was made by hand. You didn’t go to the store to buy premade clothing, you bought fabric and made it your damn self. Or paid a seamstress to do it.

Bianca wasn’t very good at sewing, but she remembered her Grandma Dee telling her that her mother had sewn fabric into her underwear for her periods. Bianca could do that easily enough. She bought a small sewing kit (because her crappy grocery store one wouldn’t hold up for shit in Thedas and would be used only as a backup), some wool and some cotton flannel.

There was a lot of downtime while traveling, especially since they got horses, so she grabbed some buttons as well. 

She had a plan.

She wished she also had a bag of chocolate and a greasy breakfast.

She headed up to the tavern. They might get cranky at her for being a bit later than they wanted, but she smelled sausages and she was getting a greasy breakfast in before going back to trail food. Fuck it.

\---


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Val Royeaux.

It was a three day walk to Jader. 

Bianca was very ready for horses to be available, even though after Jader, they were taking a ship straight to Val Royeaux and the horses wouldn’t be needed. 

She decided to invent trains.

“Really,” she said, probably too forcefully after stubbing her toe on another fucking rut in the Apparently Ancient and Not Maintained Imperial Highway. “Trains. So, like. Tracks. You guys can lay tracks. There was the Blight, right? A lot of people out of work? I mean, sure,” she lifted her foot too high, misjudging in the diminishing evening light, and then promptly stubbed her toe on something she didn't see with the next step.“There’s this fucking war, and probably the next, but you just can’t let that stop you. A lot of people need employment, I’m sure. It could be a government program - employment, training, infrastructure building. Laying track isn’t terrible. Probably. Though, I guess it’s often slaves or close to, but it doesn’t have to be! And then you just need some kind of engine. Steam, though I don’t think- maybe some kind of magic! I mean, you have that, why not. And then, and I say this with all imaginable emphasis, _trains_.”

“It sounds great to me,” Varric said, still limping a bit from his own stumble earlier. His had made more sense, as he’d been fending off some assholes trying to rob them. Yes, Bianca in this mood did begrudge him the dignity of an excuse. “Anything but endless walking or horses.”

“You do not care for horses, Master Tethras?” Solas asked, calmly, while walking gracefully, as always. Bianca glared at him briefly, and stubbed her toe again.

“Mother fucking- can we stop? I am so fucking done with this road. And Varric can’t like horses, they’re bigger than him and will likely eat him if he looks at them wrong.”

Solas tried to hide his laugh with a cough. Varric muttered something, but didn’t argue.

“Yes,” Cassandra said. “We can. I had hoped to get a bit further, but we’ll travel slower if you end up breaking a toe.”

Cassandra paused and drank some water. She looked amazing in the setting sun, like some kind of fucking princess.

Bianca remembered that Cassandra was, in fact a fucking princess.

“Great,” she stopped moving. “Good. Thank you for that kind assessment of my skills as a biped, it was so necessary and pleasant.”

Cassandra blinked at her.

“I think this way,” Solas cut in, offering his arm to Bianca. “Allow me to assist-”

Bianca sighed and took his arm. “Yeah.”

Varric and Solas kept up polite conversation through camp set up, and dinner prep. Bianca stayed quiet. She knew she was being a bitch, but that setting didn’t seem to be changeable just yet.

“Herald,” Cassandra started, though apparently Bianca’s gaze was clear enough that she cleared her throat. “Bianca. I am sorry, I did not mean to offend you.”

“Yeah, I know. And you’re right. I always slow us down. I’m just PMSing and would like to kill everyone and everything.”

“PMSing..?” Cassandra looked confused.

“About to start bleeding. I’m cramping, I’m tired, I feel like shit, and I want to curl up in bed for the next week with nachos and a chocolate cake.”

“Ah,” Cassandra nodded. “I see. I am sorry.”

“What are nachos?” Varric asked, settling down by the fire and starting to section out a ball of dough for making flatbread. Bianca had never expected balls of dough to be included in travel rations, but she was for it.

“The perfect food,” Bianca settled next to him. “So tortillas are a thin flatbread made with corn, and then you cut them into triangles and fry them until they're crunchy. Add salt. And then you pile on whatever. Spicy meat, beans, cheese, sour cream, peppers, whatever. And then you shovel them into your face.”

She reached over when he was done and started to help him form the balls into discs, which would be cooked on a hot rock near the fire.

“You’ll have to make those sometime,” he smiled. “Now, chocolate cakes you can get in Jader, I expect. If not, they’ll have them in Val Royeaux.”

“They will?” Bianca teared up. “You have chocolate?”

“We do,” Cassandra nodded. “Though likely not in Haven. It is expensive."

“Oh, thank god,” Bianca muttered, rubbing her arm across her forehead to get her hair out of her face. “In that case, I’ll stop hoarding mine. To make up for my bitchiness, we can have a special dessert tonight, okay?”

“Some of your food from home?” Solas’ eyes were bright.

“Yeah,” she smiled. “We’re going to make some fucking s’mores.”

\---

Watching her new friends eat s'mores - and getting to eat them herself - helped. She was in a far better mood the next day.

“So, Firefly,” Varric’s voice came from behind her and she tripped as she turned to hear better. 

Luckily she didn’t fall. She grimaced. “Yes, my darling dwarf?”

“Whoops,” he tossed her a conciliatory smile. “That little box you have, your foam? Tell me again what it does.”

“Most everything, though a lot less here,” she said. “No internet. But I’ve got some music, books, and games that still work. And a writing app. I shouldn’t get too dependent on it, obviously it can’t be backed up, but it’s familiar and more convenient than quills.”

“Books? What kinds of books?”

“Oh, I don’t know. A random assortment. I’m currently rereading The Hobbit, which,” she pursed her lips thoughtfully. “You would probably really enjoy.”

“Yeah? Can I borrow it sometime?”

“Nope,” she shrugged. “It’s written in English. But I’ll read it to you, how’s that?”

“That would be fascinating,” Solas’s voice was suddenly closer than she expected and she jumped.

“Yeah? Alright. Maybe on the boat? I’ve got a few sewing projects I need to finish pretty quickly, so I’ll be doing that in my down time, but we’ll have time on the boat to get into it a bit, yeah?”

“We should, yes. At least a day, depending on weather and tides,” Cassandra said, looking interested.”I would like to hear a story from another world. What type of story is it?”

They’d all stopped pretending to walk at this point, and grouped together around Bianca. 

“It’s an adventure,” she said. “But it’s not really about my world, it’s about another world. The author, J.R.R. Tolkien, he was in a very ugly war, and when he came back, he wrote this world. He was very anti-technology. He didn’t care for machines, he liked the dream of a simple farming life. The main characters in this one are Bilbo, the hobbit; Gandalf, the wizard; and then a bunch of dwarves. They have an adventure together, through all sorts of trouble with trolls and goblins, trying to take back the dwarve’s castle and treasure from a dragon, who had violently stolen it. There’s elves and shapeshifters, too. They’re ah, not like Thedas elves. Anyway, it’s fun.”

“I look forward to hearing more about the differences in your elves and the elves of this world,” Solas commented, looking thoughtful.

“What’s a hobbit?” asked Varric.

“They’re… smaller than dwarves. They eat frequently, and live simple lives. They’ve got curly hair, and very hairy feet.”

“And goblins?”

“Oh, they’re-” she paused. “You know, there’s actually a lot of discussion about them, for reasons around racism, but in the story, they’re just the bad guys. They live in mountains, and like hurting people and being nasty.”

“Racism?”

“Yes, well, they tend to be racially coded and-” she shrugged. “We should keep walking. I feel like shit and I want to get done and we can’t get done if we don’t walk. I have a lot of thoughts around racism these days, with how you guys treat different races, and I’m busy sorting them out. Don’t worry, we’ll be discussing it _at length_ when I’ve got it settled in my head better.”

“I look forward to it,” murmured Solas, as Cassandra looked pensive, and Varrice grinned and motioned everyone ahead.

\---

They had cakes in Jader, but they also had a chocolate shop. 

She passed up the cake to buy as much slab chocolate as she could reasonably afford. She ignored everyone’s amused looks as she lovingly wrapped it up, secured it in a gallon ziplock, and tucked it away.

As they approached the docks, she really wasn’t sure what she was feeling. On one hand, the boats were gorgeous. She’d always loved the romance of an “old fashioned” wooden ship, pirates, and adventures on the high sea.

The reality, however, she could do without.

Kind of in general, she was increasingly not very fond of reality. Had she gotten to write her current story, there were be a lot more fucking and story-telling. She’d leave out the wars, death, and lack of plumbing and electricity.

They piled on the boat after the cargo was loaded. It was actually pretty crowded. Val Royeaux was a popular destination. 

They settled down into an out of the way spot against the side of the boat, using their bags to lean against and get comfortable. When the boat was finally underway, and most people had found a place to be, Bianca felt comfortable enough to ask something very pressing.

“You guys,” she glanced again to the group of people across the ship, who likely couldn’t hear her over the bustle of everything. “What the fuck are those people wearing?”

Amusement from Varric and Solas, and an eye roll from Cassandra. “It’s Orlesian fashion.”

“No.”

Varric laughing. “I’m afraid so, Firefly. This is the daily wear, it gets more elaborate at fancy parties.”

“Am I going to have to wear a mask like that? Because my face is screaming at the thought.”

“No,” Cassandra assured her. “You are not Orlesian. They won’t expect you to be stylish.”

Bianca burst out laughing. “Thank fuck! And I thought Josephine’s outfits were weird. This is… ah. Not to my taste.”

“Very diplomatic,” Solas smirked.

“That’s me, that’s what I’m known for. My diplomacy,” she started digging in her back. “You guys want me to read? I’ll need a book to put it in so people don’t notice, but I’m in the mood.”

Varric dug into his pack and pulled out a book, and Bianca moved so she could sit comfortably with it in her lap, the phone balanced in the crease.”

“Chapter 1. An Unexpected Party. In a hole in the ground, there lived a hobbit.”

\---

Val Royeaux was nicer than Bianca had expected.

The streets were all paved, there were signs on everything, and while the smell announced that their sewage system was not up to Bianca’s standards, it was certainly better than anywhere she’d seen in Thedas.

Based on the stories she’d heard, she was sure it was paved in blood, and that the shiny storefronts were an attempt to cover up a whole lot of ugly.

The plan was to go to a set of apartments loaned to the Inquisition by a noble supporter to settle in and get cleaned up. The meeting with the Mothers was tomorrow at a Chantry. Cassandra had been prepping her about who the Mothers were, and how she thought it should go - Cassandra was an optimist, always expecting people to behave in logical ways. Bianca wished she could share the optimism, but she figured there was going to be fighting and, hopefully, some kind of daring escape (possibly involving swinging from ropes onto ships and dramatically setting sail with a horde of Orlesians howling for their heads behind them. The amount of time it took to get the boat set to sail from Jader had put a pretty big dent in the fantasy, but she wasn’t giving it up yet.).

Bianca decided to focus on the idea of a private bath, and leave the panic about being executed as a heretic for tomorrow.

This, naturally, fell to shit when they met a scout telling them that the Mothers had gathered in the square just before them, and that there were Templars nearby.

Bianca looked up, hoping to see convenient swinging ropes for their escape, but was disappointed. As usual.

“Well, we can just not go in there,” she said, crossing her arms. “We agreed to meet tomorrow at a place, we did not agree to meet here and now. I don’t want to. I want a bath. I was really looking forward to a bath before my ritualized murder.”

Cassandra made her patented Disgusted Noise. “You are not going to be murdered.”

“Really, Cassandra?” Bianca raised her eyebrow. “You don’t think that’s not the point here? They’re going to dramatically denounce me in a crowd of people already likely on their side and they’ve got a group of Templars around to sweep in and finish us off if the mob can’t manage it.”

Varric nodded. “Likely they’ll want to save Firefly for something far more public and dramatic. And maybe you, Seeker, since you’re so well known, but Chuckles and I wouldn’t make the list of people to keep around.”

“I don’t know, Varric, you’re pretty famous, aren’t you?” Bianca nudged him. “Maybe they can set up a station for you to sign autographs before they off you, all proceeds going to the Chantry. Which, actually, if we make it through this, can we do that ourselves? All proceeds going to some kind of plumbing project in Haven?”

“The Templars in the Hinterlands might have all gone rogue, but the Templars here should still be reasonable,” Cassandra insisted. “This is our chance. If the Mothers want to do this publicly, we will do this publicly. We are in the right. They will have to see.”

Solas, Varric, and Bianca all squinted at her and sighed. “It’s not like we have a lot of choice, I guess. But this is going to be a shitshow, Cassandra. I’m depending on you to keep us alive. All of us.”

“Of course,” Cassandra said, before sending Leliana’s person off to report what was happening, in case things did go wrong.

And so they headed into the square as they were - dirty, a bit sunburned, and carrying their packs on their backs.

As soon as they entered the square, they saw a raised platform with Chantry women, and a Templar. More Templars stood below the platform as guards.

“Good people of Val Royeaux, hear me!” called a Mother in a completely ridiculous mini-robe type outfit. Bianca choked, trying not to break out into the hysterical laughter she could feel building up. “Together we mourn our Devine, her naive and beautiful heart silenced by treachery! You wonder what will become of her murderer. Well, wonder no more!”

Bianca and her group stopped walking in front of the platform. Bianca sighed. Cassandra looked at her.

“Behold the so-called Herald of Andraste! Claiming to rise where our beloved fell. We say this is a false prophet! The Maker would send no mage in our hour of need!”

There was a pause, and Bianca realized she should say something. “Fascinating. You agreed to meet with us tomorrow at the Chantry to discuss the current crisis, but I suppose grandstanding is always more fun, and a lot less work than actually trying to help people. I have never claimed to be a prophet and I’m extremely uncomfortable with the idea, but I am working to close the Breach. I stabilized it, and have been closing rifts in Ferelden.”

“It’s true,” Cassandra joined her. “The Inquisition seeks only to end this madness before it is too late!”

“It is already too late!” declared the Mother, pointing to where Templars were marching to meet them.

“Of course it fucking is,” muttered Bianca, turning to face the Templars, as Solas, Varric, and Cassandra all moved moved between them and her.

“The Templars have returned to the Chantry! They will face this “Inquisition” and the people will be safe once more!”

The Templars did not respond to the woman’s words, the leader walking past her without acknowledgement. A man behind him pulled back and punched her in the back of her head, knocking her to the ground.

Bianca felt a sick rage building, and the crowd stirred in confusion. 

No one did anything, though.

The leader went to the Templar who had been standing with the Chantry women, patted his arm in a friendly manner as if nothing had happened, and smiled. “Still yourself. She is beneath us.”

The Templar looked down and away, but did not argue.

There was a pause. The leader moved forward again, continuing to walk.

Cassandra headed towards him. “Lord Seeker Lucius, it is imperative that we speak with-”

He calmly walked down the stairs, the Templar who had been with the Chantry women, starting to follow him. “You will not address me.”

Cassandra continued to follow, but sounded confused. “Lord Seeker?”

“Creating a heretical movement, raising up a puppet as Andraste’s prophet. You should be ashamed,” he turned to address the crowd in general. “You should all be ashamed! The Templars failed no one when they left the Chantry to purge the mages.”

The sickness was starting to fade in Bianca’s gut, but the rage was building. She started to lose the feeling in her legs and arms.

Lucius pointed at Cassandra. “You are the ones who have failed! You who’d leash our righteous swords with doubt and fear! If you came to appeal to the Chantry, you are too late. The only destiny here that deserves respect is mine!”

“Holy fucking shit,” came out far louder than it should have, but Bianca couldn’t feel her body, was completely unable to care. “These are the mighty Templars?”

Cassandra turned, “Bianca-”

“No! No, absolutely not! You lied to me!” she glared at Cassandra, lowering her voice. “Now we’ve got some Templars in the Inquisition, and they seem to be rational people, trying to help. But in general? Thugs. Murderers. They’re burning whole communities in Ferelden, killing children and families. Robbing people! Either they don’t know what a mage is anymore, or they've never cared to start with. But no, they tell me Templars are righteous, they protect people. ‘The only destiny that deserves respect is his!’ He says it himself. Punches old women openly, and they-” she pointed at the line of Templars, doing nothing. “Do nothing. It’s normal to them. They aren’t holy warriors. They’re an army of thugs that has slipped their leash and now they’re out doing to the rest of the world what they’ve been doing to the mages for all these years.”

The Templar spoke up. “But, Lord Seeker… What if she really was sent by the Maker? What if-?”

The man who assaulted the Chantry Mother came forward with a sneer. “You are called to a higher purpose. Do not question!”

“Do not-” Bianca sputtered, and spoke louder so the Templars might hear. “No, _question_! Always question. Any leader who insists you should not question _knows_ that they are wrong. He is not seeking to help; listen to his words. Look at his actions. Anyone not questioning is setting themselves on a dark path."

Lucius scoffed. “I will make the Templar Order a power that stands alone against the Void. We deserve recognition - Independence! You have shown me nothing. And the Inquisition... less than nothing.”

"You know better than this,” Bianca turned to the questioning Templar. “You don't have to join back with the Chantry, who would want to, but do not throw away your morals. You don't have to join now all dramatically, but you know where the Inquisition is. Help us. I am closing rifts. We are restoring peace and helping people. I was able to stabilize the Breach on my own. With support, we think we can close it. We can stop this before it's too late, and saving the world is a more worthy cause than one man's ego.”

“Templars!” called Lucius, without looking back. “Val Royeaux is unworthy of our protection! We march!”

Everyone watched them leave. The questioning Templar glanced at Bianca and hesitated, but followed the Lord Seeker out.

“That’s marching?” Bianca tilted her head. “They're not even in lines. They’re sauntering. If you’re going to dramatically march out to show that you're better than everyone, you should do better than that.”

Varric snorted. “Charming fellow, isn’t he?”

“Has Lord Seeker Lucius gone mad?” Cassandra looked like she couldn’t believe what was happening. 

“I mean, that would be a convenient way to excuse what he’s doing, but I don’t think so,” Bianca rubbed her face. “He knew what he was doing. Notice how he only addressed Templars? Or you, briefly? Didn’t acknowledge anyone else at all, no matter what I said?”

Cassandra shook her head. “He took over the Seekers of Truth two years ago, after Seeker Lambert’s death. He was always a decent man, never given to grandstanding. This is very bizarre.”

“We can agree on that,” Bianca muttered. She was starting to be able to feel her body again, and shook out her limbs. “Well. Fuck that whole mess and also the Chantry. Let’s go find the mages.”

“I wouldn’t write them off so quickly. There must be those in the order who see what he’s become.”

“People like you refusing to ‘write them off so quickly’ after years of behavior just like this is why we’re in this mess, Cassandra,” Bianca frowned at her. “Nothing here or the Hinterlands isn’t in line with what the mages have said about their behavior in the Circles. And yet, even now, when it’s turned against even more people, you defend them. You should really look at that.”

Solas’ eyes widened with what Bianca would describe as unholy delight, before he blinked and hid all his emotions behind a placid mask. Varric coughed.

Cassandra opened her mouth, paused, and closed it. She sighed. “Either way, we should return to Haven to inform the others.”

“Yeah,” Bianca nodded, then looked back at the Chantry Mother, who was still on the ground. She sighed and headed over to her. Everyone followed.

“This victory must please you greatly, Seeker Cassandra,” the woman said, not looking up.

“We came here only seeking to speak with the Mothers. This is not our doing, but yours,” Cassandra replied.

“And you had no part in forcing our hands? Do not delude yourself. Now we have been shown up by our own Templars in front of everyone! And my fellow clerics have scattered to the wind, along with their convictions.”

Bianca scoffed.

“Just tell me one thing. If you do not believe you are the Herald of Andraste, then what are you?”

“Trying to help,” Bianca said simply. “You’re over here safe and playing politics, while we are fighting, bleeding, and dying, just trying to help. The sky has been torn open, demons are falling out of tears in reality, Templars are running amok over the countryside murdering people, bandits are taking advantage… people are _dying_. People are _suffering_. And you… you’re grandstanding and then blaming us when it goes sideways. I am not a herald of anyone, but I am _tired_. We just wanted you to, if not help, at least stop getting in our way.”

The woman paused. “That is… more comforting than you might imagine. I suppose it is out of our hands now. We shall all see what the Maker plans in the days to come.”

“Well,” Bianca huffed and looked around. “Hopefully you decide that his plans include helping the people being harmed by this shitshow. Most people don’t want grandstanding; they want safe housing, food, and something to help them believe that they will wake up safe tomorrow. That’s a good place to start, I would think. You have someone to see about your head?”

“Yes,” the woman nodded, not addressing Bianca's points.

“Alright. Well, this has been terrible, I’m going to go now,” she started to turn. “Please… we’re just trying to help. The only power we’re looking for is the power to attract the allies we need to close the Breach and end this. I know it’s hard to see here, but in Haven… the Breach is the entire sky. The dead outnumber the living. You cannot imagine the terror and the horror that still hang over it. We are not playing politics. We were _there_. We saw it, we felt it, we smelled it, we fought and bled and died to get to me to the temple so that I could stop the spread of the Breach before it grew to cover the world. This is real immediate danger and we cannot sit back and wait for someone else to act. We have to act.”

The Mothers all looked at her with wide eyes, and then looked away, troubled.

Bianca nodded, and walked away.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello! I love you! I hope you are having a more relaxing time than Bianca ♥️


	10. Chapter 10

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Storm Coast!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello, I love you!  
> I hope you guys are doing well!
> 
> I have grown as a human and am marking sex stuff for my people who would just rather not! I've got it marked before are after with "***"

“Old fat spider spinning in a tree!” Bianca sang quietly, back to reading the Hobbit on their journey to Haven. “Old fat spider can’t see me! Attercop! Attercop! Won’t you stop, Stop your spinning and look for me?”

Varric snorted, and Bianca grinned. “Old Tomnoddy, all big body, Old tomnoddy can’t you spy me! Attercop! Attercop! Down you drop! You’ll never catch me up your tree!”

“Maybe we should try that next time we run into giant spiders,” Varric said, leaning back against the ship's side.

Bianca looked up from her phone and laughed. “Oh, can you imagine? Blech!”

There was an awkward pause and Bianca felt suddenly nervous. 

“Bianca,” Solas started.

“Don’t you fucking dare! Giant talking spiders aren’t real! No!”

“Well, talking spiders, I can agree, I’ve certainly never heard-” 

“Varric, no!” Bianca put away her phone and stood up. “No. Dragons were enough. I can't do giant spiders. I gotta go."

She hurried away from her friends, going to an out of the way area against the railing on the other side of the ship so that the mast hid her view of them. She leaned her hands on the railing and looked moodily across the water. 

“That bad, is it?” came an unfamiliar voice. A man walked up and leaned on the railing near her, joining her in looking out at the water.

“Frequently,” she muttered, slumping over a bit.

“Want to talk about it?” Asked a rich voice with an accent similar to Josephine's.

She looked at him. He was dressed in a style that didn’t look Ferelden or Orlesian. His clothes were nice, though; clean enough and no obvious wear. 

He was handsome. 

Shaved head, dark skin, beautiful dark eyes. 

Tall. 

Muscular. 

He smelled like sweaty man, but it was a really good-

Bianca closed her eyes and looked away, realizing where her thoughts were headed. “Not especially. I’ve had enough of facing reality for the time being. It’s horrifying more often than not.”

The man grinned, showing his teeth. They weren’t perfect modern Earth teeth, but he had all the important ones. “It can be. Maybe you need someone to take care of you.”

Bianca laughed loudly. “Oh, they do try. So. Instead of reality, good sir, might you be willing to meet me in not-reality? Tell me, all options available, who would you be and why would you be on this ship?”

He pursed his lips, nodding, looking thoughtful. “Well, then, that is a question. Many men would wish to be king, with riches and women. Which is a thought, but also a lot of fuss. Unless I was wishing to be a bad king. But wishing to be a bad king is a poor use of imagination. I imagine…” he looked out to sea, thinking. “I am a simple man. And I found a treasure, something small, maybe a chest in a forgotten corner of a ruin. Enough so that I could supplement when things were hard. Enough to take care of my family, and friends when they need it. I could provide for a wife. Soft fabric for clothes, a house with a paved floor, a well close by.”

Bianca looked out to sea as he spoke. She smiled. “That is a good use of imagination. Enough to be content, safe, and warm. Enough for generosity. Not enough to draw attention.”

“Last thing a man wants is attention in times like these,” he murmured.

“Not going to try to imagine it all away?”

He snorted and glanced up at the sky, where the Breach could be seen in the distance. “I’m afraid my imagination isn’t so good that I can get that image out of my mind. How about you, bella? Is yours?”

“Oh, I could. A clear blue sky, with fluffy clouds. A house with indoor plumbing and a big soaking tub. Lots of books to read, and access to delicious food. And all the spiders are a sensible size, and dragons live far away.”

He laughed, throwing his head back. Bianca got lost in how his throat looked, the richness of his laugh. His head moved back down and he caught her eye, slowly smirking. “I do know a far more likely way to lose track of reality. For a little while, at least.”

Bianca swallowed. “Yeah?”

He kept his eyes on hers as he moved into her space, moving so they were nearly chest to chest, his mouth by her ear. “If you’re of a like mind. Nothing serious, nothing scary. Just a bit of time when you can focus only on good things.”

She licked her lips. “Going off with a stranger in times like these could be incredibly stupid.”

He moved his face, rubbing his cheek over hers. “It could. Or it might be just the thing to help you relax a bit. I could use a bit of relaxation, too.”

She inhaled slowly, smelling him. He smelled so fucking good.

“Alright. But no murder or maiming.”

His shoulders started shaking. “Same to you, my lady. I’m delicate.”

She pulled back and smiled, eying his shoulders. “Practically frail. I’ll be gentle.”

***

He wasted very little time once they were in the hold, pressing her against a stack of crates out of view from the entrance and kissing her deeply. His hands wandering over her body until they settled on her ass, kneading firmly and dragging her pelvis against his courteously provided thigh.

She didn’t waste time, either - her hands going for his buttons, needing to feel his skin, which was hot and smooth and-

He hissed, moving a hand over her throat - causing her to momentarily wonder if she’d just made a deadly mistake - and then to her jaw, moving her head so that he could sink his teeth into her shoulder, grinding himself against her hip as she ground down against his thigh.

They wouldn’t have much time - they weren’t subtle about where they were going, and surely someone would be down quickly to check, so she moved down to work the laces if his breeches, just enough so that she could get her hand down them to grip him - oh, he felt amazing in her hand, and he smelled so good, and his arms were so fucking _nice_. She licked up his neck, biting his ear.

He groaned, reaching down and gripping both her thighs and lifting - she hastily removed her hands from his pants and wrapped her legs around his hips. He pressed her back against the stack of crates and thrust against her.

She clawed at his shoulders and arched her neck back, grinding against him as well as she could. He buried his face in her cleavage, gripping her ass so hard she hoped she’d have bruises. They frotted, bit, and scratched each other until he stiffened, groaning into her neck as he came. She whimpered, not there herself and he hastily dropped one of her legs and jammed his hand down her pants, thrusting two fingers deep inside her as he ground against her clit with his palm, bending uncomfortably to suck her nipple through her shirt. She called out, the waves of her oragasm rushing over her. He fingered her gently as she had several smaller orgasms, coming down slowly. 

He pulled his hand out of her pants, breathing deeply as they both staggered a bit, trying to catch their breaths.

***

“Holy fuck, I needed that,” she grinned. She slid down to the ground, and put her knees up. “I don’t know what I did to deserve that, but thank you.”

He laughed. “I live to serve. Though I do not usually get so lucky when approaching angry women.”

“No, I bet you don’t. This was probably terribly risky, and I’m still hoping you don’t turn out to want to murder me or something-”

He laughed. “That was not my plan, no. I am having some rather delicious thoughts of what we could do given more time, but-”

There were footsteps on the stairs, and they both hastily adjusted their clothes and tried to appear decent.

Varric stepped into view while Bianca was still trying to straighten her hair. She caught his eye and laughed. “How much effort did it take for you to walk loudly enough for us to hear you?”

“Some,” Varric smiled. “I was torn between surprising you in case you were in trouble, and not surprising you, in case you were naked.”

“You chose correctly, thank you,” she laughed. “I was hoping it would be sex and not murder myself.”

The man laughed. He took her hand and kissed it, before heading for the door. “I am pleased to have chosen correctly, my lady. Such a hard decision, it was a struggle." 

Bianca laughed and watched his ass as he left. “Thank you!”

She heard him laughing as he moved up the stairs, and turned to smile at Varric with a shrug.

“Hey,” Varric shrugged back. “As long as you’re good. The Seeker wanted to discuss a few things, we should head up.”

“Lead the way!”

\---

An agent met them as they disembarked in Jader, giving Bianca a letter which she promptly handed to Cassandra, not feeling up to decoding runes at the moment. Apparently, they were being sent to the Storm Coast to meet up with a mercenary group who had passed on information about Tevinter mercenaries gathering suspiciously.

Cassandra sighed and went back aboard the ship to speak to the captain.

Bianca, Varric, and Solas eyed each other and shuffled awkwardly out of the way of the people coming and going. The agent left immediately.

“I’m going to pretend that it’s named ironically. You’re not going to correct me. I’m going to enjoy this next leg of the journey, imagining a beautiful coastal vacation. Beaches, half naked people, drinks with little umbrellas. The only worries will be digging sand out of our butt cracks. Join me, let us go there together right now.”

Varric and Solas paused and then joined her in staring into the middle distance.

Cassandra came back to get them and hesitated, glancing behind her to see what they were staring at and then shaking her head in annoyance. “They will be leaving in the morning. We need to find an inn.”

Bianca signed dreamily. “A little bed and breakfast. White sheets, gauzy curtains. Delightful old lady with muffins.”

Cassandra stared at her like she’d lost her mind, but Varric nodded thoughtfully. “With fruit. And sausages.”

“Perhaps some frilly cakes,” Solas murmured.

Bianca smiled. “Fuck yeah.”

“What are you all- you know what? It doesn’t matter. I’m going to find an inn. You three can do… whatever it is you are doing.”

And Cassandra turned and headed off into the crowd.

They watched her go before sighing as one and following.

\---

It was not ironically named.

She’d learned better as they passed by on the ship. They’d all grimly gone below deck and did their best to waterproof their supplies. Bianca passed out gallon ziplocks to the rest to help keep books, documents, and spare socks dry. 

Highever had been cloudy, but not raining, so she thought possibly it would be clear by the time they hiked in, but no.

The thing about Thedas was that it was all very… outdoors. Back on earth, traveling was done out of the weather in general. Here, they were once again on foot, because the terrain was shitty for horses, and Bianca couldn’t wear her Earth clothes because it was just a few hours hike and a lot of it was on dirt roads that were used by many people.

No one really felt much like talking, outside of Bianca and Varric and their grumbling.

They finally arrived at the camp, soaking wet, exhausted, and desperate for hot food and alcohol.

A person moved to greet them, calling out, "Hello! Good, you're finally here!"

Bianca looked.

It was Scout Harding. And she was _wet_. 

Bianca stared briefly, a whimper caught in her throat, before she pulled herself up and squelched her way over to Scout Harding. “Scout Harding. Can we please pretend this is the first time we’re meeting? And then do the meeting out of the rain after we’ve changed into dry clothes?”

Scout Harding smiled, and gestured for them to follow her. They did. Varric moved to Bianca’s side, nudging her obnoxiously, and when she turned his way to say something, she noticed Solas smirking at her. She sighed. “It’s too wet to be dramatic.”

She swore she heard Cassandra laugh, but she decided to ignore all of them instead of having to deal with it.

\---

She was in a tent of her own - a perk of being their Herald - stripped down and drying off when someone scratched on her tent flap. “Don’t come in!” She hurried to pull on her cleanest shirt, and poked her head out the flap. “What’s up?”

A scout saluted her. “The mercenary group has engaged with the Venatori on the beach, ser!”

Bianca blinked. “Oh. Oh, shit! Okay, thank you!”

She rushed into getting dressed, hesitating about putting her very wet armor back on, before sighing and pulling it on over her dry layers, immediately feeling wet and heavy again. She twisted her hair up into a wad on top of her head, took a drink of her water, and headed out into the rain.

The rest of the group was waiting, also looking displeased. She followed Cassandra to the edge of the hill to look down at people fighting on the beach below.

Bianca scanned the area, trying to sort out who was who and -

“What the fuck is that?”

“What is what?” Cassandra asked, stepping forward and scanning for something that seemed out of place.

“That…” she flailed her hand. “There’s a giant down there with horns?”

“Oh,” Cassandra relaxed. “He’s a qunari. We’ve told you about them.”

Bianca frantically searched her mind for any hint of a memory of someone telling her that there were giant people with horns here. “No, people mentioned the word qunari, but no one though to describe them! Jesus, fucking…” she rubbed her hand down her face, watching the giant on the beach.

“They come out of the North,” Varric commented. “You don’t see many of them down here, though we had an occupying force in Kirkwall for a few years. Good warriors. Sharp minds. You want them on your side.”

Bianca watched as the qunari easily chopped a man in two with his giant ax. She covered her mouth.

“We are here to meet the Bull’s Chargers,” Cassandra said. “I believe that is Bull.”

Bianca’s very quiet, “Oh.” probably wasn’t heard by anyone.

The fighting wrapped up on the beach, the Chargers winning easily.

Bianca stood, watching the mercenaries pause to take a breath while the losers bled out on the beach.

Probably-Bull looked up at them on the hill. Bianca wanted to run. “So. We need to…”

“Meet with them,” Cassandra said, turning to find a way down the hill safely. “They seem to be competent.”

The company was taking stock, calling out to each other as Bianca, Solas, Varric, and Cassandra came close.

“Five or six wounded, Chief. No dead.”

“That’s what I like to hear,” Probably-Bull’s voice was as big as he was. “Let the throat cutters finish up, and break out the casks.”

Bianca blinked and looked back at the dead bodies, only to see several of the Chargers carefully cutting their throats. Her stomach lurched. 

“Practical,” she muttered. 

“It is,” Solas murmured back, touching her elbow briefly in comfort.

They got within easy speaking range and the giant turned to them. “So, you’re with the Inquisition, huh? Glad you made it,” he angled his body toward a large rock on the beach. “Come on, have a seat. Drinks are coming.”

Bianca nodded and followed him, though not without a longing look up the hill where there were dry places to sit.

The others did not follow.

He sat on a large rock and she glanced around, noticing only smallish rocks behind her. She didn’t really want to squat down and look up at him on his big rock, so she stayed standing

At least him sitting put him at her eye level.

The man he’d been talking to before approached them.

“This is Cremisius Aclassi, my lieutenant,” Bull gestured toward him.

“Nice to meet you,” Cremisius nodded to her before turning back to Bull. “The throat cutters are done, Chief.”

“Already?” Bull asked. “Have them check again. I don’t want any of those Tevinter bastards getting away. No offence, Krem.”

“None taken. At least a bastard knows who his mother was,” he turned and walked away. “Puts him one up on you qunari, right?”

Bianca blinked at him, hating how little she knew about _anything_. So much had just been said and she didn’t understand it. Qunari don’t know their mothers?

“So,” Bull interrupted her thoughts. “I’m The Iron Bull, and these are my Chargers. You’ve seen us fight. We’re expensive, but we’re worth it.” He laughed in a way Bianca found awkward. “And I’m sure the Inquisition can afford us.”

Bianca looked at him, honestly fascinated. He was enormous, with huge horns. Not like bull horns, though, they were rough. She wanted to explore the texture of his head to feel the changes from skin to horn. He had one eye, but he looked like he saw more than she ever could.

He was topless, and she couldn’t decide if she thought that was a good idea or not. On one hand, less soggy clothes, and wet skin dried faster than fabric. But it was cold here. And he’d been fighting people; naked skin seemed like the last thing you wanted around blades and fireballs.

She looked down at his hands.. and what was left of his fingers. He looked like he fought hard, and fought often. 

She had absolutely no idea what to say to a mercenary captain. 

“Yeah?” she tried, glancing back to her friends. Cassandra made a weird face, which Bianca guessed might be her trying to look supportive. “How does that get negotiated?”

“Your Ambasador, uh, what’s her name - Josephine! We’ll go through her. We’ll get the payments set up. Gold will take care of itself, don’t worry about that. All that matters is we’re worth it,” he smirked at her.

She looked back over at his Chargers again, watching them as they cleaned their weapons, and wiped down their armor. “They seem like an excellent company.”

“They are,” he said firmly. “But you’re not just getting the boys, you’re getting me. You need a front line bodyguard, I’m your man.”

He stood, and she looked up at him. She had to admit that she did feel safer at the idea of a man that big between her and… everything. The horns added a little something, too. An extra fuck you to anyone wanting to try to stab her again. He could stab them first. 

With his _head._

He started walking towards her, his voice lower. “Whatever it is; demons, dragons. The bigger, the better.”

She had to scoot out of his way as he kept walking, further from everyone else. She followed him, confused. 

“And there’s one other thing,” he looked at her carefully. “Might be useful, might piss you off. Ever hear of the Ben-Hassrath?”

She glanced at her friends, who apparently really had left her to it and weren’t listening. 

_Why?_

“Nope,” she tried, trying to not look like a 12 year old, feeling like a toddler. She didn’t know enough for this, why were they having her do this?

“It’s a Qunari order. They handle information, loyalty, security, all of it.” He was still watching her carefully. His face said she should be nervous. “Spies, basically. Or well,” he lowered his voice. “We’re spies. The Ben-Hassrath are concerned about the Breach. Magic out of control like that can cause trouble everywhere. I’ve been ordered to join the Inquisition, get close to the people in charge, and send reports about what’s happening. But I also get reports from Ben-Hassrath agents all over Orlais. You sign me on, I’ll share them with your people.”

“Ah,” she watched his face, his body language. “Are you supposed to tell me that?”

“Whatever happened in that Conclave thing is bad,” He started. Bianca snorted. “Someone needs to get that Breach closed. So whatever I am, I’m on _your_ side.”

“More sensible than Orlesians, at least,” she muttered. 

He laughed.

“If I say no,” she watched his face again. “They’ll send in someone else, right? Someone who won’t tell me up front, who won’t share reports.”

“Absolutely.”

She nodded. “I want your reports to get approved before you send them. You might not understand the sensitivity of something, and we’ll want to know what they’re hearing.”

He nodded.

“If you fuck us over, I will sic Cassandra on you," Bianca nodded towards Cassandra. "She’s honestly terrifying. I mean she's hot, so you'll start out thinking you're going to enjoy it, but you will not enjoy it.”

The Iron Bull looked over at Cassandra. Cassandra looked back, unmoved. Bull grunted. "Agreed." 

Bianca smiled.

He turned and yelled, “Krem! The Chargers just got hired!”

“We’ve just opened the casks! With axes!”

Bull looked down at Bianca. “Drink?”

She squinted back at Krem. “Were those axes clean? Do you have special cask axes, or were these axes just embedded in Tevinters?”

“Yeah,” he started walking back towards his group. “They likely were. That a no?”

“That’s a hell no, in fact,” she moved to walk with him. “I need to check in with my people and get…” she sighed. “I guess there’s no real hope of staying dry here. I need to go talk to my people about Inquisition things, and then what you've told me, and then how to best utilize you guys. A front line bodyguard like you sounded great until we got to your actual job. Come talk with us later?"

“I can do that,” he glanced up at the Inquisition camp. “We’ll get this cleaned up, and join you guys for dinner, that work? We can work out the details then.”

“Perfect,” she held out her hand and he glanced from her hand to her face before carefully taking it and shaking firmly. His skin was very warm, and rough. “Welcome. It won't be boring."

He laughed, "No, it really won't."

She turned to her group and gestured for them to follow her, waiting until they were out of hearing range to hiss, “What the fuck was that? Why did you leave me alone for that? He’s a fucking _spy_ and I’m _me_ and you thought I should be in charge with no backup, have you _lost your minds_?”

Cassandra stumbled and caught herself. Varric and Solas both paused.

“Well, shit.”


	11. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this needs another editing pass but cannot get myself to read it again.
> 
> Hopefully it's okay!!
> 
> Hopefully you're okay! ♥️

They settled in a circle in Bianca’s tent after once again removing their wet armor.

“So,” Varric started. “A Qunari spy.”

“Yeah,” Bianca sighed. “First it sounded great - more fighters with actual experience, and he said he would be my front line bodyguard. I would really like a guy like that between me and everything! But then when he pulled me further away, he explained that he’s a- Ben-Hassra?”

Varric winced. 

“But he said that he’s just being sent because they’re concerned about the Breach? He’s supposed to join, get close to the people in charge, and tell them what the fuck is going on. Which,” she shrugged. “It’s sensible. And at least he’s offering to help, unlike the Chantry. And this is a spy we know about. You know they’ll send more if we tell him no, and they won’t be as useful. A better spy would be a servant. People ignore them and they hear everything.”

“What else did you say?” Cassandra asked.

Bianca looked around wildly, trying to remember. 

“Oh!” she clapped. “I said his reports back had to get approved - which, let’s be honest, you know he’ll have lots of ways of sending reports, so they won’t all be approved. But the things we edit will tell them things about what’s important to us and we can manipulate them that way, too. ‘Oh, please don’t throw me into the briar patch!’ and all that.”

They all looked confused.

“Oh, right, cultural references are an absolute bitch, you guys. It’s…” she shifted and looked at Solas, who nodded encouragingly. “Just… when someone is trying to hurt you, it’s a good idea to lie about your weaknesses. A briar patch sounds scary and being thrown into one sounds like a punishment, but some animals live in the briar patch, and they can hide there from the person trying to hurt them.”

“Wise,” Solas smiled. “You were able to think through these things in the moment, you are more capable than you like to think.”

“Yeah, well, that’s no reason to leave me alone - why didn’t you guys come with me?”

“Like it or not, you are known as the Herald of Andraste,” Cassandra said, haltingly. “As I have said, people want to speak with you. The Chargers similarly did not intrude upon the meeting, outside of the single check-in after a battle, which was part of the dealings - showing you that they were skilled, efficient, and professional. That he was a spy was… unexpected. We would have given you more information going in had we known.”

“Yeah, like, they don’t know their moms?”

“Qunari…” Solas said, and then paused.

“They have a breeding program,” Varric continued, when Solas didn’t. “I don’t know a lot about it, but they decide who is going to breed, and the babies are all taken and raised together in groups. They don’t choose… well, anything. They’re assigned to jobs as they age, and get trained accordingly. They don’t even have names, just job descriptions.”

“Huh,” Bianca blinked. “I wonder if he’d be willing to tell me more about it. But that’s not important right now. How will we use them? A bodyguard sounds nice, but I’ve got a few secrets that really don’t need to be getting passed on. He did seem… he said that the Breach was bad, and that whatever was going on, he’s on my side. So if they just have the goal of getting that shit patched up, I probably don’t have to worry too much about an attack?”

“Eh,” Varric looked doubtful. “There are a lot of ways to reach a goal, Firefly. Ben-Hassrath are… well, you don’t want to underestimate one. The Qunari don’t… have respect for non-Qunari. To put it lightly. They call them bas - which means 'meaningless thing.' A bodyguard might be a good idea, and if you’re the only way to close that Breach, he will keep you safe, but don’t go thinking that means you can trust him or his intentions.”

"They leash their mages," Solas added. "Literally. Bind their magic, collar them, sew their mouths shut."

Bianca looked around in horror, wanting someone to refute that. No one did. “Well, fuck. Should we not do this?”

“No,” Solas said. “You were correct to bring them on. They fight competently, and it is better this way. You know who he is, you know who his men are. There will undoubtedly be more spies in the Inquisition, but one that you can speak to is better than one you cannot. There was a mage in his group, if you recall; Dalish, unbound.”

“Maybe he's okay with mages, then. People do disagree with their cultures," Bianca nodded to herself. "He said he gets Ben-Hassrath reports from all over Orlais and he’ll share them with us.”

“That is good,” Cassandra nodded. “They will be careful in what they share, but it’s an unexpected offering and will help us.”

“Okay,” Bianca sighed and rubbed her eyes. “Well, he’s going to come up for dinner, so you guys can talk and figure shit out then. We need to talk about anything else before I bring in Scout Harding for her report?”

Varric and Solas immediately smirked. 

“No,” Cassandra said. “We need to speak with Iron Bull before deciding how best to proceed. I’ll get Scout Harding.”

And she left.

“You ready for this, Firefly?” Varric asked, trying to sound supportive but unable to hide his smirk.

She just made a face at him and smoothed her hair.

“Here,” Solas moved closer. He nudged her chin up, quickly smoothing her hair, pulling strands to frame her face, and then wiped vigorously at her cheek, where she must have had some dirt. “Beautiful.”

She blinked, taken aback, but grinned hugely at him and grabbed him in a quick hug. “Thank you.”

Solas had time to settle near her and then the tent flap was moving and Cassandra came in, followed by Scout Harding.

Bianca quickly stood, saluting as she’d seen the scouts do. “Welcome, Scout Harding. I’m terribly sorry for the wait, but thank you for coming. Do you prefer to sit or stand? Do we have anything to drink?”

She heard Varric laughing through his nose, but ignored him.

“Sitting is fine,” Harding said, sitting near Cassandra, keeping the door unblocked. Bianca sat, too.

“So! We’ve agreed to sign on the Chargers, and they’ll be joining us for dinner,” Bianca said, and then started. “Oh! Do we have enough food for that? I didn’t think! Do we need to-”

“It’s fine, your Worship,” said Scout Harding, with a smile. Bianca’s stomach plunged straight to nausea. _Your Worship?_ “Cassandra informed us when she came to get me, there will be enough.”

“Oh, good,” Bianca said weakly, mind racing, hoping it wasn’t somehow terrible to say - “Can… can you not call me that? I’m not… I’m… Just Bianca, please?”

“Of course, ser!” Scout Harding said, blushing. “I wasn’t sure.”

“Totally fine, everything is weird, I get it,” Bianca waved it off and shifted nervously. Solas somehow managed to cover his mouth with his hand without looking awkward, but Varric didn’t bother to hide his smile. “Tell me what’s going on here?”

“There’s a group of bandits operating in the area. They know the terrain, and our small party has had trouble going up against them. Some of our soldiers went to speak with their leader,” she said, and then added quieter. “We haven’t heard back, though.”

Bianca closed her eyes. “When did you last have eyes on them?”

“It’s been since yesterday. We didn’t have an exact location for the bandits, but they were starting their search farther down the beach. With all this fuss, we haven’t been able to conduct a proper search for the Wardens, either.”

“Okay,” Bianca nodded. “Well, I guess we’ve got a good first use for the Chargers. They can come with us to find our soldiers, and figure out how to deal with the bandits.”

“That’s a good idea,” Scout Harding nodded. “They’ve been here longer than us, keeping an eye on those Tevinters. They’ll know this area reasonably well.”

“Nice. Rifts?”

“Certainly at least one. I wish I could tell you more.”

“Hey, we’ll get it sorted out. I appreciate you, and your work.”

There was a scratch at the tent. Scout Harding popped out to talk with whoever-it-was, and then popped her head back in to say the Chargers were on their way to the camp before.

After she left, they all glanced around at each other.

“So, quick, I know we’ve already said, but I need to hear it one more time. Are we thinking we want him to be a bodyguard, or just keep them together as a group away from us?” Bianca asked. “Because he’s supposed to get close to us, so if we keep him away with his group, they’ll send in someone else. But having to be on guard all the time sounds absolutely exhausting.”

They were all quiet for a moment.

“He should be your bodyguard,” Varric said. “Right now it works for you to be able to relax, because it’s us and we know your story, but Firefly… it won’t always _be_ us. We’ll have other things we need to do, we might get hurt, someone else would have the skills needed for what you’re doing. Hawke had a group of very skilled people, but we didn’t all go together for every job. If we go back to Orlais, Enchanter Vivienne would be a good choice. If we get a good tip from the Red Jennies, we’ll want to take Sera. We need to decide how we’re going to handle that, because I don’t think you should tell everyone. They’ve all got their angle, and you won’t always know what it is.”

“He is correct,” Solas said. “We will observe more as we search for the soldiers, but if his assignment was to get close, he will need to be kept close. Ideally we will head back to Haven from here, and we can decide how to handle your background.”

Bianca sighed. “Right. Maybe I’lI practice being the strong, silent type. Though it’ll make it hard to finish the Hobbit.”

“We can travel separately back to Haven, perhaps,” Cassandra said, a little urgently.

Bianca grinned. “Or maybe when we get back we can have slumber parties!”

“Slumber parties?” asked Varric.

“Yeah, you all come to my cabin for the night! Bring your cutest jammies, we’ll eat pizza, and we can watch movies, or I can read to you. We can do each other’s hair, and paint our nails,” Bianca waggled her eyebrows, talking in her best Valley Girl accent.

Solas rubbed his head with a smile. “Something along those lines would likely be pleasant. Shall we join them outside?”

Bianca grimaced. “Yeah. I do so love sitting in the rain.”

Varric laughed. “Hey, at least it’s also dark and cold!”

\---

The Chargers had not come empty handed. They’d brought a large fallen log, which most of them were either sitting on or leaning against, and apparently a cask of some type of alcohol - with a tap, Bianca saw when she inspected it. Not opened with axes. 

She smiled.

“I listen,” came Iron Bull’s voice, and she could hear the smile. 

She turned towards him. He was still not wearing a shirt. Still enormous. Dripping wet, shadowed dramatically in the firelight, he should look absolutely terrifying, but somehow his lopsided smile took the edge off. “I appreciate it. Welcome to the Inquisition’s Camp Soggy Britches. I see that your britches are plenty soggy, blending in already.”

He pulled at his pant’s legs with a dramatically sad expression. “I did try to go without, but Krem tells me it’s bad for business.”

There was laughter through Chargers, and she heard a familiar voice take on a scolding tone. “Chief!”

Bianca smiled at Iron Bull and then Lt. Aclassi, before getting her dinner and finding a place to sit next to Varric on one of the folding chairs that had been brought out for Bianca and her companions to use.

The area looked rather cozy, she thought, The Charger’s on their driftwood, the Inquisition filling in the other sides around the fire on cut driftwood stumps, a few other folding chairs, or even just on the ground.

It was all wet, it’s not like the ground was going to be worse than any of the other options.

She let everyone else do the most of the talking. She spoke enough to be polite, but she was tired. She didn’t have the energy to watch her words.

The Chargers were a diverse bunch, but they seemed to be friendly towards each other, and their boss. She didn’t really know what to expect from a Mercenary group. Mostly she’d seen them portrayed as unpleasant in movies and games, but they seemed pretty similar to the soldiers she’d seen in the Inquisition. Just people.

She really liked Iron Bull’s voice, she decided. He was good at talking to people. He was having a lively conversation with Cassandra and Varric, talking about past jobs. Such an interesting place, where you can add that you’ve blown up bridges and baited giants to your resume.

\---

Solas had kindly gone around in the morning and dried everyone’s clothes, but that didn’t matter much when you had to go out in the rain again. Bianca tried to wear her big sunhat as an attempt at keeping at least part of herself a little dry, but it was rightfully rejected because it was bright red.

They met the Chargers on the beach after breakfast. They had a quick discussion about how Bianca’s group fought and acted, so they could make a plan for how they would work together.

“And your Herald?” Iron Bull asked, looking at Bianca.

“Bianca had never fought before reality was torn apart,” Bianca said politely. “She doesn’t like to fight. She is still learning, though, since people do insist on trying to murder her. I’ve been training with this staff as a polearm, and have been learning a little magic.”

Iron Bull paused. “Have been learning, meaning you're new to magic training, too?”

“I was a mage who never manifested any magic,” she shrugged. “Solas only noticed when he was working on my mark. So yes. Maybe I wasn’t a mage before. Maybe I won’t be a mage when the Breach is closed. We don’t know.”

“Right,” Iron Bull rubbed a hand over his face. “So in fights, you…”

“Hide in the back,” she gave him two thumbs up. “Though that hasn’t always worked. There was the asshole who came to the back for me when everyone was distracted.”

“What happened there?”

“We came back to find her yelling at his corpse,” Varric said, shrugging. “She’d cast some kind of cutting spell. He was dead, and she was barely hurt. These were actually well trained mercenaries, too.”

“Cutting spell, that’s new. What else do you cast in fights?”

“Accio!” she said, holding out her hand for Solas’ staff. It flew neatly into her hand.

“She can disarm an entire group like that,” Solas said, holding out his hand for her to return his staff. “Though that many weapons flying at speed toward her isn’t generally a safe plan.”

“No, but that’s a good start,” Iron Bull said. “You can disarm someone, you know the basics with a staff, and have managed to kill someone. You also know you aren’t really ready to be out here yet, and aren’t going to make our job harder by insisting on being front line. That’s always a pain in the ass.”

“I really do try not to be a pain in the ass,” Bianca said. “I also do try to limit my actual fighting, since this is the only mark we’ve got, and losing it to some random asshole or bear would suck. And you know, possibly lead to the world ending.”

Iron Bull eyed her. “Yeah. Let’s not lose it. With this many people, you’ll stay in the middle by me. That’s the safest place.”

“Sure thing, Chief,” she saluted with two fingers at her forehead. “Shall we go find our men now?”

\---

They returned to the Inquisition camp that evening with bad news about the scouts. 

Bianca passed on the note about the Mercy’s Crest to Scout Harding, who said she would have one made as soon as possible.

“So,” Iron Bull said, after Bianca had gotten her dinner and sat down near him by the fire. “You’ll get the crest made, and then what’s your plan?”

She frowned. “I guess we hope they honor it. I don’t understand this kind of thing - honor codes about when you’re going to murder someone, and when you won’t. My general code on that is that I will kill you if you try to kill me. And then only if I have to.”

“Yeah,” Iron Bull nodded. “Sounds like they got a bad leader, and they don’t have much choice in the matter. Leader like that likely won’t play fair, even with your little crest.”

“Right. So we’ll have to be ready for that. We’ll be sure whoever is fighting has backup ready.”

Iron Bull grunted in agreement. “We should spar tomorrow. I need to see what you can do.”

Bianca looked him over doubtfully. “Alright. I generally train with Solas in the mornings. Or wherever we have time. You can make a plan with him on how that should work.”

“Sounds good.”

\---

They started with Solas leading her through their standard drills, Iron Bull standing to the side just watching. That done, Solas continued trying to teach her barriers, which she had been struggling with. She could mentally shove people away - that was a common magical spell in Harry Potter and other fandoms she enjoyed, but a shield just wasn’t coming naturally to her.

Solas paused, and looked at her thoughtfully. “What is a barrier?”

“It’s a thing between two things," She said, thoughtfully. "Like a wall, or a condom.”

“A condom?”

“Yeah, it’s a thin sheath that covers your dick during fucking,” she shrugged. “Can help prevent babies and STIs.”

“STIs?” Solas asked.

“Sexually transmitted infections.”

“Ah,” he nodded. “And I assume a condom would be flexible?”

She laughed. “Yeah. You can feel them, but… Have you not seen one? They’re often made of intestine?”

Solas paused, but Iron Bull didn’t. “Yeah, they’re around. Especially in brothels. Haven't heard then called that, though.”

Bianca nodded at him with a smile. “Good! They should be. Names vary."

“That’s a good thought,” Solas said, stepping closer to her, offering his hand. “Put your hand against mine.”

Bianca tried to clear her mind of thoughts of getting a Thedan condom and fucking Solas; He must mean some other thought was good. She did as he said, setting her palm against his.

“Now,” Solas murmured, looking into her eyes. “I’m going to hurt you.”

She blinked, barely registering his words before his hand suddenly shocked hers, and she jerked away. “Mother fucker! Ow!”

She heard Iron Bull laughing, but was busy shaking her hand and glaring at Solas.

“Again,” Solas held up his hand. “I am going to repeat that. You need to apply a barrier. A condom, if you will. Thin, but enough to keep my magic from you.”

She closed her eyes and focused. Condom. Thin, flexible, keeping anything coming from his body from getting on hers.

She nodded to show she was ready. She felt a light buzzing feeling, and opened her eyes to see electricity arcing from his palm and wrapping around her hand in a pretty light show that did not touch her skin.

“Good,” murmured Solas, pulling his hand back an inch. “Now expand that, move the barrier further from your skin.”

She blew out a breath, imagining it blowing up the condom around her hand, and the buzzing stopped, the arcs moving so that they danced several inches away from her hand instead of right against it.

“Good,” nodded Solas, stopping his spell. “Now release it. Breath for a moment. Then I would like you to do the same thing, but surrounding your entire body. Remember, you will need to be able to hear and breathe.”

Bianca thought about those ridiculous giant inflatable gerbil ball type things that people could run around in. They were closed enough that you could use them in water and not get wet, but they had valves that allowed air in. She bopped her staff on the ground to help her cast, and felt her magic arch around her. 

It kept Solas’s ice spells out easily, and she laughed, thinking it was like she was in a reverse snow globe. She heard a grunt behind her and turned to see Iron Bull leaning curiously on the air, her barrier somehow firm enough to hold him up.

He pulled out his axe, and swung it at the barrier, which shuddered and broke apart with a wave of energy outward, knocking Solas and Iron Bull back a few steps.

“Nice,” Iron Bull nodded. “I’m curious about the closer one, can you put that up on your arm? The first type you did?”

She nodded and focused, holding her arm up to him. He pulled out a small knife from his belt and, asking permission with his eye and getting a nod back, he pressed the knife against her arm. It didn’t cut, though it dented her skin.

“I do feel it though,” she murmured. 

“Interesting,” Iron Bull commented. “Beats intestines.”

It took her a second, but then Bianca burst out laughing. “Holy fuck, Solas, do you think that would work? Could we fuck with a magic condom?”

Iron Bull grinned, but glanced between them curiously.

“Possibly,” Solas said, thoughtfully. “I believe you would need to work on your focus before you could trust it to last.”

“Ah, yeah,” She smiled up at him sweetly. “So not with you, but maybe with someone who was really shitty at it and didn’t last long?”

Iron Bull burst out laughing. 

“A flattering assumption, thank you,” Solas smiled. “And yes.”

“Of course,” she batted her eyelashes at him before raising her arms and spinning with happiness. “So! That was awesome! I did the thing!”

“You did the thing,” Solas smiled. “Iron Bull, did you have anything else you wished to see?”

“Not outside of the magical condom, no,” he smirked at them. “I need to talk to Dalish, I might have some training ideas for you. We can talk about it later, yeah?”

“Sounds great,” Bianca smiled. “Thank you.”

When Iron Bull had gone, Bianca finally relaxed fully.

“You did well,” Solas said, putting his hand on her shoulder.

“Thank you,” she breathed, putting her hand on his. 

She wondered how she was going to manage all of this when she was constantly around people she had to hide from. Literal spies watching her, learning her weaknesses, noticing all the things about her that did not fit.

"Let's do it again," she said, still watching where Iron Bull had disappeared from sight. She had to get better. She had to get stronger.


	12. Chapter 12

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Blades.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's fascinating to me, the bits of the story that want to be told. I always figure I'll tell certain parts, and then... That's not what comes out. Hopefully you enjoy ❤️  
> Also, this fic is going to be enormous. It's already nearly as long as Baby and Me, which is my second longest fic, and we don't even have all the companions yet.

She held the necklace in her hand. It was heavy. The jewelry here was all heavier than what she was used to.

Possibly the weight of it was not so much physical as it was emotional.

Such a small thing, really, and yet somehow it would stop a fort full of violent men from cutting her down as they had the Inquisitions soldiers.

Mercy’s Crest.

Was that what she was asking from them? Mercy?

Mercy for herself, for her friends, for the people who fought and died under the banner of the Inquisition? She didn’t lead the Inquisition, she didn’t want to. She was one of them, one of the soldiers, and yet her job necessarily sat her apart. Above, in many people’s opinions.

How many died to clear paths for her, so that she might travel more safely?

How many died having joined because they believed her to be the Herald of Andraste?

How many died because she wasn’t.. She wasn’t holy. She wasn’t from here, she didn’t understand and she couldn’t-

She closed her eyes, breathing deeply, trying to calm herself.

And would this help? Could she ever make up for her mistakes? For her inadequacies? 

And if she gambled wrong, and died, what then? 

She kept her eyes closed and focused again on her barrier. Tight against her skin as she breathed in, blowing out into a sphere as she breathed out.

In. Out. In. Out.

“An interesting exercise,” came Solas’ voice. She paused, but then continued. 

There was silence for several breaths, and then he was closer. “May I join you?”

She breathed out again, expanding her barrier until it reached its limit and popped with a small change in pressure in the air around her. “Yeah, okay.”

He sat next to her, but didn’t speak.

“This sucks,” she said eventually.

He hummed.

“They killed our men,” her voice cracked. “They killed our men, and they didn’t even want to. They left the note about how to challenge their leader, and a map; it’s like they were asking us for help.”

“Yes.”

They looked out over the sea from their seat on a log at the edge of the cliff. Bianca cried silently, and Solas sat beside her, ready to listen.

“And it’s all on me,” she whispered. “I get to decide if we kill them all, or if we attempt to talk to them about our people being here. And if they decide to allow us here… they killed our people. Do we- are we supposed to just… accept that?”

“That,” Solas said carefully. “Is also something you will likely be asked to decide.”

Bianca blew out a slow careful breath. “That’s assuming they don’t just kill us when they see us; Assuming they check everyone’s jewelry before shooting.”

Solas waited.

“And if he wants to fight? Cassandra says I have to wear this, since I am the Herald of Andraste, and they are an Andrastian Cult,” She glared down at the crest in her hand. “Though it seems to me that they will see me more as a false idol and like me less, not more.”

“Possibly.”

“And if he demands to fight, I-” Bianca wiped her eyes. “I will have to fight for my life. For your lives. For the lives of the soldiers they killed.”

“Yes.”

They watched the sea for several minutes, silently.

“What if I die?”

“That,” said Solas, with a small smile. “Would suck.”

Bianca stared at him with a blank face before bursting into hysterical laughter.

\---

It did suck. Not that she died, she didn’t, but everything else about it. 

The leader was unwilling to have a conversation and attacked her. When she didn’t hold still and let him kill her with his ax, they released dogs.

That, at least, was Bad Form enough that her friends joined the fight, quickly putting down the dogs, and then the leader.

And then, that was that. The rest of the Blades turned to her as their new leader.

“You realize that immediately following the person who kills your leader will often end up with you guys being led by people who can fight well, but not necessarily lead, right?” She’d asked, but none of them seemed to mind that. Bianca quickly grew overwhelmed and asked the highest ranking members of the group to meet her at the Inquisition camp the next day to figure out how things would work.

It didn’t feel like any kind of winning. Her people had been killed. There was no justice for them. A bad leader had been killed, along with his dogs, but… would she be a better leader for the Blades? She didn’t even want to lead them! Iron Bull mentioned that the other possibility was killing them all, but she couldn’t stomach that. Better to have them on her side, using their familiarity with the area to aid the Inquisition.

She was quiet at dinner that night. She drank more than usual, and the drink that the Chargers brought was stronger than what the Inquisition normally supplied. She stayed by the fire as people slowly left to go to their tents.

When it was just her and several scouts she didn’t know, she got up and wandered down the path towards the beach with a bottle of ale. She climbed up on some driftwood and watched the waves. Nothing soothed her like ocean waves. The rain had taken a break, and she was able to really enjoy the feel of the air, and the sound of the water under the dark sky. 

Not that the sky in Thedas ever seemed particularly dark. Without the city lights and their light pollution, the sky was awash with stars. She could lose herself for hours just watching them.

The two moons, too, lit the sky more than the single moon at home. She was never sure if she liked the moons or not. On one hand, they were lovely, but they were also a reminder that she was so very very far from home.

“So far from home, so far from home,” she sang quietly a bit of key, toasting the moons with her ale. “Not where I belong, not where I belong.”

She heard a growl off towards the rocks to her right and froze.

There was a pause and then the growl came again, but this time with another voice joining in. She started to get up, thinking someone was in trouble, but then…

Ah.

The noises settled into a rhythm and she sat back down.

Probably she should leave, but she was comfortable, and the water was lovely, and she didn’t really want to. Not yet.

She cycled between trying to tune them out, and listening in wistfully. She’d really like to get laid. Could she find someone and just sneak down the beach to fuck them? Usually she would assume no, because someone always seemed to check in on her when she was on her own, but she was sitting down on the beach tonight, and no one was bugging her. Perhaps she could have.

But with who? As much as she hated the idea, she was very important in the Inquisition, and people liked to think they were following her. So she was kind of in leadership, and it isn’t a good idea to have sex with people working under you. Especially when they thought you were the Herald of their Goddess, or whatever.

Whoever the woman was over there with Mister Growly - Bianca was pretty sure it was Iron Bull, from the voice - she was certainly having a good time. Bianca wondered who it was. 

Cassandra had left the fire shortly before Iron Bull had.

Bianca giggled to herself, imagining Cassandra with the Iron Bull. She drank deeply from her bottle, finishing it off.

Harding had gone to bed shortly after Iron Bull, but… Bianca scrunched up her nose. Surely there was no way that would work out. The Iron Bull was enormous and Harding was so… Bianca sighed dreamily. So tiny and perfect.

Things escalated for a few minutes down the beach, causing Bianca to giggle to herself again, and then there was silence.

She had just settled back into her daydreams, watching the waves when-

“Hey, Boss,” The Iron Bull said, walking over to her. Bianca noticed a woman in scout armor scuttling past them back to the camp, walking a bit bow legged. Bianca laughed quietly.

“Hello! Nice night for it,” Bianca gestured towards the woman, smiled at Iron Bull, and then went back to watching the waves.

“Yeah,” Iron Bull smiled. “Mind if I join you? You shouldn’t come out here alone.”

Bianca snorted and laughed again. “Only come with a friend!”

Iron Bull laughed. He had a nice laugh. “It’s generally more fun that way. You got yourself a friend?”

“Pft!” she waved her hand at him. “No.”

He nodded and sat out of arm’s reach on her log.

They watched the waves together for a bit in silence.

“You did good today,” he said.

“Thank you,” she said, not looking at them. “I have to admit, having you there helped. It’s hard to feel as terrified all the time when I have an enormous dude with horns and a giant ax watching my back.”

She saw his teeth flash. “That’s the general idea.”

“If all else fails, I can just climb you like a tree and wait it out.”

Iron Bull threw his head back with a laugh. “You think I can swing this ax with you sitting on me, and still do any good?”

“I mean, I’m really strong, I’ll hold on tight,” she grinned back. “Just think of me as a backpack with great tits, and swing the ax only around your front.”

“Now there’s an image!”

Bianca mimed writing. “Dearest Ben Hassrath Upper Management, met the chick with the glowing hand yesterday. She can’t fight for shit, but she’s got great tits, and makes a decent backpack. Please do not send reinforcements, I’ve got this. Hugs and Kisses, The Iron Bull.”

“That is absolutely what the report says,” Iron Bull gestured towards camp. “I’ve got it in my tent, if you don’t believe me. Though I did add in a bit about you siccing Cassandra on me if I misbehaved.”

“Yeah, you tell ‘em,” she muttered. “They’ll see her name and think you’re extra manly, risking it.”

He huffed a laugh. “So what’s the plan now?”

She sighed. “I guess tomorrow we’re going to go hiking, looking for rifts. I think that if we go in several groups in a formation, we can cover a lot of ground. Like, maybe our group on the beach, the Chargers near the cliffs and then Blades further inland? The Tevinters were here for some reason, we’ll want to figure that out. They can do that without me, though, I just need to clear out the rifts so they’re safer.”

“Makes sense.”

“Yeah. And then we’ll head back to Haven,” Bianca stood and started stretching, getting her blood flowing again. “I picked up some cool new allies in Val Royeaux before this. We landed in Jader thinking we were going back to Haven, but were told to come here instead just as we got off the boat.”

“Glad you could make it.”

“Yeah, it’s good. Could do without all the rain, though.” Bianca gestured back up to camp and he nodded, standing up. “It’s funny. Haven is so fucking cold, and I was so happy to be away, but after this? Just being cold seems alright. I could always grab a blanket, or go sit by a fire to get warm, but it’s really hard to get dry here.”

“You’ll want to be careful with that, if you’re leaving people here,” Bull said, as they started walking. “Your people can get foot rot.”

She grimaced. “Yeah. I think there are caves here, we should try to use those. And maybe fix up that cabin? Or build another cabin? They’ve got to be able to be inside with a fire and have space to dry their things and their parts.”

“Yeah,” Bull said, seriously. “Wet parts are a problem.”

She snorted and elbowed him. “Mhm. Be sure yours get cleaned and dried out before you go to bed. Wouldn't want rot.”

Bull laughed. “Yes ma’am!”

As she curled up in her sleeping bag later, she realized the Iron Bull was likely going to be a problem.

He was far too good at getting her to relax and let down her guard.

\---

Blue whales were too big. She couldn't make them work in her head. She understood that they were real, had seen pictures of them, even pictures of them beside people to try to understand the scale.

It didn’t work. Her brain rejected them. They were too big.

And this? This she was seeing in front of her with her own eyes?

It didn’t work. They were too big.

Beside her, The Iron Bull made a sound that was purely sexual and it snapped her out of her trance. “Oh yeah? That’s what does it for you? Which one?”

He laughed, deep and rich. “Aaataashi. The _dragon_.”

She looked back down the beach to where a dragon was fighting with a-

“Not the other guy? He looks about your size.”

“Naw,” he made a face. “Though I knew a noble once who wanted a giant. We were hired to lure it out for him.”

She paused, mouth pursed in thought. “Do I want to know how that worked out?”

“Eh, the giant killed him. We still got paid, though.”

“Well, that’s the important part.”

The dragon won. The giant fell into the surf, they felt the impact in the ground under their feet. The dragon flew away, with a cry that hurt her ears.

“Can we fight it, boss?”

She looked at Bull askance. “You currently have an erection the size of my arm, you can’t take your eyes off it, but now you want to kill it?”

“Yeah,” he said, voice husky.

“Remind me not to fuck you, then.”

Varric choked behind her.

“And no,” she continued. “We have so much shit to do, and I’m really not in the mood to die today.”

“Maybe tomorrow, Tiny,” Varric said, reaching up to pat Bull’s hand. 

“What?” she spun around to look down at Varric. “Why would we-”

“If we are going to have our people in this area, it will likely need dealt with,” Cassandra said, looking put out. “You are correct that we should not address it now, however. We need to close the rifts.”

“I don’t-” She paused, trying to pull her thoughts together. “I am absolutely not fighting a fucking dragon unless it lands near me and I can’t run away fast enough. No. You guys can form some kind of dragon fighting team and have at, but leave me out of it. I have enough to do already without adding suicide by impossible creatures.”

“I’ll take that,” Bull said, standing tall and grinning. 

“Fabulous. Glad that’s settled,” she rolled her eyes with a smile. “Already saving me time and painful death, it’s a good start for a bodyguard.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song she sings a bit of is The Raven (Far From Home). I discovered it in a Celtic_Lass/Antlersandfangs fic and it's been stuck in my head frequently since.  
> https://youtu.be/8y4Sz8_Oq1M


	13. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I finished!!  
> Thank you so much, Antlersandfangs, for helping me!  
> I'm sorry I've been so slow on this story. I have been writing a fic with AntlersandFangs and Celtic_Lass and it's so much easier writing a story with two other people who can take over when you get stuck. We've got over 200k (!!!) words written on that fic (only just starting to post chapters, though), and I'm afraid this one is getting a bit neglected.  
> Personal life has been a bit of a dumpster fire, too.  
> But! I always finish stories I post, and I love Bianca deeply. Hopefully you enjoy this chapter as much as I do <3

There was one last known rift in the area; inside a large cave.

Bianca wanted that cave for her people - they had to get out of the rain, and building took time and resources.

It was gorgeous. The whole of the Storm Coast was gorgeous, if you didn’t mind the rain. Bianca did, in fact, mind the rain. She had cycled through several stages of emotions on it: annoyance, hate, numbness, vague acceptance, and she was now at Heartily Sick of it.

They met the Chargers there, just outside the cave. The Chargers having apparently just killed another of the Storm Coast’s many bears. At first, killing bears bothered her, but now-

“Oh, hey. Blankets!” Bianca grinned. “Anyone hurt?”

“No,” Krem smiled at her. “We’re good to go.”

“Nice,” Bull approved. 

They looked inside the cave. It was large, and didn’t have a complete ceiling, sunlight peeking through in many places.

“The rift is at the back,” Cassandra said, frowning. “But it seems relatively clear.”

“Yeah,” Bull grunted. “Likely isn’t, but we’ll have to go in to find out.”

“Same protocol as before?” Bianca asked, really impatient to get inside and out of the rain. “I stay towards the back middle?”

“Yeah,” Bull squinted into the cave. “Sound right?”

Everyone agreed.

Bianca cast her shield, a little bubble hovering around her. Solas nodded his approval. 

They went in.

The cave seemed empty.

It really was lovely, Bianca enjoyed the basalt column formations everywhere, they could probably set up multiple camp areas over-

There was a high pitched screaming noise behind them, Bianca spun to see-

“Oh, hell no!” She backed up, panicked. “No.”

There was an enormous spider, absolutely monster sized. Krem and Cassandra rushed forward to attack it, hacking into it with sickening sounds as it screamed, and tried to bite them with it’s-

There was another hiss and Bianca spun again, to see another coming from the other direction. Bull went to meet this one, his ax swinging into it with meaty thuds. Spells and arrows were flying, as more spiders came at them, Cassandra moving to battle another, while Krem moved to fight another. 

Bianca was quickly overwhelmed, the sounds, the smells, the sheer horror she felt at this enormous spiders and then-

There was a solid thunk against her barrier and she turned to see an enormous spider, on top of her, only kept away by her barrier. She could see it’s pincers, working furiously as it pounded against the barrier, screaming in her face. She screamed back, completely overtaken by terror. She felt a crack in the barrier. It was going to get through. It was going to touch her. She was going to die. She was-

Pissed.

With another scream, she moved her body in a wave from a cower to a defiant stance and a wave of fire burst from her, surrounding the spider. She was not dying like this. She was from Earth and on Earth when there were scary spiders, you burn the whole house down.

And suddenly the spider was screaming in pain instead of anger. It backed up but it was still so close she could watch the fire move to light the hairs on its body. She raised her arms, glaring, and the fire blared hotter, burning white.

“Bianca!”

Solas’ voice. She shook herself and let the spell go, looking for him.

He was near her, hand on her barrier, looking concerned, and a little bloody.

She let the barrier drop and leaped into his arms, sobbing.

He gathered her up, patting her back, murmuring gentle elvhen into her ear until she was calm again.

When she was calm enough to notice anything but the stretch of Solas’ arms, she decided to stay, and buried her face in his neck. “I’m done.”

He laughed softly. “Sadly that is untrue. There is still the rift, though they have checked, and there seem to be no more spiders.”

She shuddered. “I told you those weren’t allowed to be real.”

Another laugh, silent and only perceived through the shaking of his shoulders. “I am sorry. I was not consulted when they were made. Had I been, I assure you that I would have argued most persuasively, and no one would have dared to allow them.”

She laughed. “Thank you.”

And with a sigh, she pulled back and looked around. There were no moving giant spiders, and everyone was very careful to not be looking at her.

“I’m really sorry guys,” she said, horribly embarrassed. “You’re all experienced awesome warrior types, and you got stuck with me. I can barely deal with reasonably sized spiders, I…”

People nodded, a few smiled.

“It’s alright, Firefly,” Varric assured her, walking over with Bianca on his shoulder. “You didn’t hurt anyone. And that spider certainly won’t be messing with anyone again.”

He glanced back at a very charred spider body. Bianca shuddered again. “Right! So! Who wants to kill some demons, eh? Demons are gross, but somehow not nearly as horrifying as giant spiders. Let’s get this done.”

She stood and tried to walk as if she hadn’t just had a meltdown over something that the rest of the group barely found interesting. The rift was up ahead. Rifts were something she had done plenty of times, she could do this.

When they got near enough to the rift, it lit up. Bianca felt the pull in her mark and closed her hand against the feeling. She raised her shield again, and stood in a ready stance, just in time for the first round of demons to materialize.

“Fuck!” She ducked behind one of the basalt pillars as a ball of green shot at her. They were all the green ones that threw things. She hated those. And they had spread out, using the pillars for cover, just like her people had. She spotted one nearby, faced away from her, shooting at Iron Bull. She snuck up behind it, and stabbed with the blade on her staff, watching with satisfaction as it disintegrated, before turning to find another.

The second wave brought horrible ice shooting demons, and she managed to burn one with a spell before closing the rift for good.

It exploded in a shower of green light, and she smiled. It was always deeply satisfying, closing these hellmouths, making the endless stream of demons stop.

No matter that she was terrified of spiders, and shitty at… pretty much everything, she could do this one thing, and it was important.

“Nice,” Iron Bull cuffed her shoulder with a grin. She grinned back up at him, relieved to have a show of support after her melt down.

“Herald,” Solas called, and she grimaced. She hated that. “If I may have a moment of your time, there is another elvhen artifact here.”

“Oh, cool!” She hurried over to him, with a smile. “Just turn it on like the last one, yeah?”

He smiled. “Indeed.”

She fed magic into the device and it lit up, sending a wash of energy through the air. “Ha! Nice.”

She looked around. “I like it in here. Minus the giant spiders.” She looked towards the back. “Hey, what’s that, I’ve seen those before…”

She left Solas and headed for the back, where there was a skull on a stick. There seemed to be a crystal stabbed through the right eye, straight through the back. Weird. She got closer, trying to inspect it, and saw that she could actually see through the thing. Muttering to herself that she was an idiot, she looked through the crystal. She noticed that there were -

“Hey, Solas? Can you come look at this?” She watched him coming through the skull, until he was close enough she could talk to him without everyone hearing. “What the fuck is this thing? You can look through the crystal, and it’s- Just look.”

He did, curiously. “Ah. I believe we will understand more fully if we investigate the areas that it is highlighting. Shall we?”

“Yessir,” she nodded and offered her arm. He took it with a smirk, and they headed for the nearest shiny thing.

It was a… “Oh, that’s… creepy.”

Solas was inspecting it. “I believe it would be prudent to collect these. Someone went through quite a lot of trouble to find them. I have seen these in the Hinterlands as well.”

“Yeah,” Bianca said, not wanting to touch it. Skulls on stakes with crystals shoved through their eyes? Was that a real skull in the stone tablet? No, she wanted nothing to do with that. On Earth, skulls were cool, but she’d see too much violent death here; she didn’t trust the sourcing of these. “I have, too. We can tell the Inquisition people to start gathering them?”

“Yes,” Solas murmured, touching the surface of the skull embedded in stone. “I would like to study these. If you will allow me.”

“Of course,” Bianca said, shrugging. “Let’s get the rest of them. I’ve seen more of these here even. Definitely telling the scouts to deal with it, there’s way too many for us to gather in a reasonable amount of time.”

Solas nodded, carefully gathering the… whatever it was, and putting it into his bag. He was distracted, obviously thinking about the stone thing. “Yes, that is wise.”

“That’s me! Absolute paragon of wisdom. I don’t touch random sourced skulls and I am a professional delegater,” She nodded firmly. “Thank you for noticing.”

Solas snorted. “You are welcome.”

\---

“That’s very good,” Solas smiled. “Feel for it, as you- yes, good.”

Bianca released the spell and wiggled her fingers experimentally. The small burn was gone. “Ha! That’s so fucking awesome. Anyone got any injuries I can practice on?”

There was silence. Bianca smiled cajolingly . “Oh, come on. Nothing says ‘totally safe great idea’ like letting an inexperienced mage pour magic into your injuries!’”

Cassandra snorted. “Indeed, what could possibly be dangerous with that?”

“Free healing!” Bianca flug out her arms dramatically. “Only a small risk of having a possessed elbow afterward - it’ll whistle when you’re angry.”

Solas laughed at least. It was too bad about Thedosian’s magic hangups, she was hilarious.

They were on their way back to Haven. The Chargers had stayed at the Coast to help until more Inquisition people could get there. She had Iron Bull, though, and he was carefully ignoring this conversation while he wrote a report, his arm neatly bandaged, and apparently going to stay that way.

“A message for you, ser,” said a quiet voice.

She read through the little message, feeling proud when she didn’t need to pull out a cheat sheet to decode it.

“Vivienne and Sera have made it to Haven,” she told everyone, and then she laughed. “Separately. Can you imagine them traveling together?”

Varric looked at her doubtfully. “Isn’t that the idea? That they’ll travel with you?”

Bianca’s face went blank and then worried. “Oh, I… hadn’t thought of that. Probably not at the same time.”

“Why?” Bull asked, stretching his shoulder. It was very distracting. He was very distracting. 

“Ah,” Bianca rubbed her hand over her face. “Well, Vivienne, is… a noble? She’s the First Enchanter of a Circle, and an Enchanter at court? Something like that. Anyway, she’s fucking rich, and very…she’s fucking amazing, honestly. Kind of makes you want to…” Her mind drifted in a direction she likely shouldn’t verbalize. “Um. Anyway. Powerful rich lady.”

“Ah, I know what you mean,” Bull grinned. “And Sera?”

“Sera,” Bianca smiled toothily, her tongue on her canine.”Is chaos. She’s a Red Jenny, which sounds like a really cool… organization? Rallying Call? But that’s a system for bringing down shitty rich people, so putting her with a very… Ah. I don’t think they’ll get along. Not that I think Vivienne is necessarily a bad rich person, but rich people in general tend to have… ideas about lower classes. Though Vivienne is a mage, so I don’t know….” Bianca drifted off. “She’s very pro-Circle, though. I don't know. There’s a lot of politics that I admit to not fully understanding, but power dynamics are pretty across the board, and, though I like them very much, I think they’d annoy the fuck out of each other.”

“They should be able to put aside their differences,” Cassandra said firmly. “There are far more important things to focus on.”

Bianca thought about Cassandra and Varric, and how they snipped at each other when they were tired, and decided to not mention it since she was, as she had informed Solas, a Paragon of Wisdom. “One would hope.”

She caught Bull’s eye and he smirked. He’d been around for several bickering matches between Cassandra and Varric, the constant rain at the Storm Coast wasn’t helpful for anyone’s mood. She smirked back, and then tossed the message into the fire. “We should be there in a few days.”

“Looking forward to it?” Bull asked. “I haven’t been there myself, not much there before now for a merc.”

Bianca paused. Was she looking forward to it? To the privacy of her cabin, yes. That would be nice. But the meetings, the expectations, the responsibility that somehow could feel less heavy when they were all together in a camp, away from everything. She wasn’t sure. “I’m not looking forward to the cold, I’ll admit. It’s cold in the mountains. I like it much better out here.”

“Hear, hear!” muttered Varric. 

“It will be colder as we travel after tomorrow,” Solas said, watching the sky. “I think I will take advantage of the warmth and swim before supper.”

“Swimming?” Bianca perked up. “Yes, please!”

They were near Lake Calenhad, descending down the Imperial Highway. They hadn’t been able to swim in it yet, with one thing and the other. Bianca loved swimming.

“I’ll join you,” Bull said, smiling. “Always good to have an extra eye out.”

Bianca groaned. “Puns. Terrible. Cassandra, Varric, what about you?”

“Dwarves don’t swim,” Varric said, pulling out his quill and parchment and settling in to write something. “They sink. Just let me know if anything exciting happens.”

Bianca nodded and turned to Cassandra, who blushed. “No, I- I do not think so. Are you sure that you should-” She clamped her mouth shut.

Bianca was confused. “It’s… swimming? What am I missing?”

“I believe the Seeker is concerned about swimming with men,” Solas said, calmly, digging through his pack for something. “The Seeker is more modest than you are.”

‘Oh,” Bianca paused, staring at Solas trying to figure it out. “ _Oh_! You swim naked!”

Varric tried to hide his laugh, but failed. Bull didn’t try at all. Solas merely smiled. “Yes. It’s a good time to wash one’s clothes, and then oneself, so it’s only practical.”

They had washed in lakes and rivers in the Hinterlands, but Bianca realized that they did it in shifts by gender. She hadn’t paid much attention at the time, too focused on getting clean and only registering enough to know that she shouldn't go alone. Separating by gender never made much sense to her; she was attracted to people of all genders, and far more awkward around women.

“Right,” she nodded, and headed into her tent to gather her clothes and soap and towel, making a little bundle of everything for easy carrying. She threw a grin at Varric when she was ready. “You sure you don’t want to come with?”

Varric snorted. “If you want to see me naked, you have to at least buy me dinner first.”

Bianca laughed. “I’ll remember that!”

It wasn’t far to the lake, through a stand of trees they found a secluded rocky beach, gently sloped down to a large lovely lake. There were large rocks as well, as was common in the Hinterlands, and Bianca thought it was rather idyllic. 

She walked to one of the larger rocks that laid like a dance floor from the beach out over the water. She put her towel at the furthest edge towards the beach, and laid out her dirty clothes and soap at the edge near the water. Solas joined her, though Bull stayed back a bit, watching to be sure he didn’t overstep, setting his things on a separate rock.

Bianca tested the water with her foot after taking off her shoes. “Oh, it’s actually really nice. I expected it to be colder, though I expect it’ll feel colder when I'm in it.”

“Likely,” said Solas, stripping off his shirt and then unwrapping his feet. “Still, it will be nice to swim.”

“Absolutely,” agreed Bianca, pulling off her shirt. “I really wanted to swim several times, but something always happened. Like that fucking dragon.”

“Dragon?” Bull asked, attention gained. Bianca looked over to him to find him already naked and stepping into the water. Her breath caught. He was just so… _big_.

“Yes,” Solas said, a smile in his voice, and Bianca looked at him quickly to see him smirking at her. Asshole. “With dragonlings. Near the Crossroads in the Hinterlands where the Inquisition was aiding refugees. She will need to be dealt with, sooner rather than later.”

“Ugh,” Bianca grumbled, stripping off her pants, and joining Bull in slowly wading in. It was colder on her legs than it had been on her feet. “You two can have fun with that, I am happy to never see another fucking dragon.”

There was a splash and she saw Solas skimming past her under the water. She laughed and turned, letting herself fall backwards into the deeper water with a shriek and a splash. She came up spluttering, pushing her hair out of her face to see Bull laughing at her before he pushed himself forward, swimming after Solas.

She decided to take advantage of them being busy, and made her way back to the rock and her soap, washing herself thoroughly. 

That done, she pushed off the rock, and began to lazily swim out into the lake. It was lovely, the sky was blue, the water was clear, and the birds were singing in the trees. She floated on her back for a while, gently bringing herself back to the shore, watching dragonflies zoom around. 

One landed on her left nipple, and she heard Bull’s quiet laugh nearby. “Nice landing spot.”

She hummed lazily, kicking her legs a bit to move faster, and watching the dragonfly zoom away out over the lake. “Usually I charge for the honor, but I suppose he forgot his wallet.”

“And his pants,” Solas agreed.

She turned over and saw that the men were at the rocks, scrubbing their clothes. With a sigh, she moved to join them, picking up the shirt on the top of her clothes pile, grabbing her bar of soap, and rubbing it on the shirt until she got a good lather. “How would insects wear pants, anyway? To cover all their legs, or their butts?”

“Butts, I’d think,” Bull mused. “So maybe it’d be more like little hats.”

“Huh,” she tried to visualize it. “It’s somehow weird to me. Are their butts at the end of their bodies? My brain insists it should be between their legs, but… that can’t be right. Though pants are usually more about genitals, do bugs have genitals?”

“They must, right?” Bull asked, frowning down at his pants in thought. “Do they?”

“I have no idea,” Bianca said, rinsing the shirt and then sniffing it. Good enough. She grabbed her pants to repeat the process. “I know that fish don’t? I think? I think like, the girl lays eggs and the guys just jizz like mad and it floats through the water and fertilizes that way.”

Bull made a face at that. “Yeah, but that’s in water. That wouldn’t work on land, so they have to have something.”

“Birds have cloacas,” Bianca mused.

Bull laughed. “Bugs do lay eggs. Can you imagine, bugs being like chickens, laying eggs all the time?”

“Tiny fairies, gathering ant eggs every day,” Bianca agreed, grinning. 

“A rather charming image,” Solas agreed, washing his foot wraps.

“Solas,” Bianca nudged him. “You know everything. What do ant dicks look like?”

“Yeah, Solas,” Bull grinned. 

“The Fade is oddly silent on the subject,” Solas replied blandly. “I’m afraid it must not be very evocative.”

“Poor ants,” Bianca sighed dramatically, flopping back into the water. “All that work, and no stirring romances to titillate the spirits.”

“Perhaps I am mistaken,” Solas finished rinsing out his footwraps and laid them out to dry. “Perhaps there are smaller spirits, ones that escaped my notice because they were not interested in me, but in the dramatic adventures of insects.”

Bianca snorted. “What they expect: filthy threesome at the lake between their holy figure, the mysterious apostate mage, and the enormous qunari mercenary-” Solas and Bull both snorted and nodded. “What they get: A titillating tale of romance in the insect kingdom, and the spirits that formed along the way.”

**Works inspired by this one:**

  * A [Restricted Work] by [beetle](https://archiveofourown.org/users/beetle/pseuds/beetle) Log in to view. 




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